Just what is it about all the Psychics that I visit, they're either totally depressed or too excitable..

..it's really hard to find the happy Medium.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Thor's brother isn't that excitable

He's pretty low key

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
🚨︎ report
A very exciting pun
πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beta-pi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
🚨︎ report
We just bought our new dream house and as I was showing our daughter around for the first time, she asked excitedly, "What's upstairs!?" I chuckled and replied, "Awwwww sweetie...."

"Stairs don't talk!"

πŸ‘︎ 19k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone's excited that 2020 is ending...

...but forget that the year after 2021 is 2020 too

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZackAshM
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my husband I was excited to see who's nose our baby has on the ultrasound, his reply...

he can't have my nose, I need it!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FTM-Oct2020
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
I have been making pencil sketches of my family and it's not exciting at all

Back to the drawing, bored

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I’m excited it see Pun: The Musical

It’s a play on words

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobby_vance
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone was excited at the Autopsy Club.

It was open Mike night!

πŸ‘︎ 188
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BastetLXIX
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
You always have to keep your job exciting.

Being a well driller, I often dream I could drill right to the center of the earth.

If I didn't have such a great imagination my job would be just boring.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leyline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Frankenstein was excited

It was his first 'body-building' competition.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sne4a
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m excited for Jan 1, 2021

Then I can finally say that hindsight is 2020.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tkseizetheday
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently Orion wasn't too excited about his new belt.

He only gave it 3 stars.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife said she wanted to take me out. I was so excited...

Until I saw the body bag.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Got a new tattoo

My wife was complaining about how i'm not spontanious or creative, unless it involves terrible jokes, so i went out and got a tattoo (my first one). But since im not very creative i had them tattoo a pic of my thermos from work. I went home all excited and showed her my new tattoo! She was really confused about it. She looked at it for awhile and when she went to touch it i yelled at her not to touch the thermos tat. I think she's leaving me now :(

πŸ‘︎ 18k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bosozokulove
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I was so excited to work this morning that last night I slept like a baby.

I woke up every 2 hours and cried.

πŸ‘︎ 96
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TempleOfBone
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife was very excited to finally introduce our kids to her sister...

It was Auntie Climactic.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kinjesus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.

It's Groundbreaking work.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Zenchi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I was really excited when my wife bought me a book for my birthday called β€œ69 Mating Positions”.

Turns out it’s about Chess strategies.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the overly excited Gardner do when spring finally came?

He wet his plants!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaden-YoungBlood
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow without legs?

Ground beef.

(My Dad was very excited to tell me this during our video chat tonight)

πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mgereau
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
People who wear glasses must be excited for next year.

It's the first time they'll see 2020.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nikkobe
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
As a lepidopterist I find my job so exciting

it really gives me butterflies

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spankyham
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I don’t know why, but there’s something exciting about evaluating women’s armpits...

Its just really axilla rating.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CubanZirconium
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I know an archaeologist who found a human leg bone during an excavation. The other archaeologists got excited and went over to help him.

Turned out to be quite the shin dig.

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tenglempls
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I got an antique dosimeter from USSR and I was pretty excited.

Then I noticed it only measures comrads.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GentleMonsta
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m so excited! Scientists have tested cloning on humans.

Im beside myself

πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSketchiest
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My date was really excited when I invited her over for cocktails, but she left extremely disappointed.

She didn’t want to hear stories about my rooster.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I came home with a salamander on my shoulder and my son, all excited, shouted, "What's his name!?” Smiling, I replied, β€œTiny!" My kid laughed and asked, β€œWhat an odd name, why do you call him Tiny?”

I explained, β€œBecause...he’s my newt!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

Flush!

πŸ‘︎ 320
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AllSaintOx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Today I asked a hot girl at the gym what her new year's resolution was. She replied β€œScrew you!”

So I'm pretty excited for the new year!

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What type of medical condition excites politicians?

Pro-state cancer

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LopsidedVader
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a friend join at cult that believes when they die they become water vapor

I told him they will be mist

πŸ‘︎ 628
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jamiestonee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
We were all excited about our mountaineering trip, but then our friend Max chickened out.

He has always been an anti climb Max.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
🚨︎ report
The COVID19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.

They fear that the social distancing measures could push people over the edge.

πŸ‘︎ 20k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sur5er
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I've never been excited over drill bits...

...I've always considered them to be boring tools.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
🚨︎ report
In NYC, after these difficult times many people were excited the Lego store was finally reopening.

People were outside lined up for blocks.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johnblu5
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My first cake day!

I am so excited it’s my first cake day! I know the day is almost over butter late then never!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LordBottom69
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Nature just loves when Spring comes around...

I mean just look at the trees, they're re-leaf-ed.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrayWolf85
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I was excited to join the Autopsy Club

Wednesday’s are Open Mike Night.

πŸ‘︎ 138
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Formaldefortress
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
So excited for autopsy club!

It's open mike night!

πŸ‘︎ 173
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone was excited to be at our autopsy club this evening.

It was open Mike night.

πŸ‘︎ 341
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I was so excited that 2020 is almost over.

Then I realized after 2021 is 2020 too.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone was excited at the Autopsy Club...

It was open Mike night.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone was excited at the Autopsy Club

it was open Mike night

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/velvettriangles
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone was excited about the Autopsy Club meeting...

It was open Mike night.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PrivateTumbleweed
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone was excited about the Autopsy Club meeting...

It was open open Mike night.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PrivateTumbleweed
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report

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