Just what is it about all the Psychics that I visit, they're either totally depressed or too excitable..

..it's really hard to find the happy Medium.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Thor's brother isn't that excitable

He's pretty low key

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 06 2019
🚨︎ report
A very exciting pun
πŸ‘οΈŽ 37
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/beta-pi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 24 2020
🚨︎ report
We just bought our new dream house and as I was showing our daughter around for the first time, she asked excitedly, "What's upstairs!?" I chuckled and replied, "Awwwww sweetie...."

"Stairs don't talk!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone's excited that 2020 is ending...

...but forget that the year after 2021 is 2020 too

πŸ‘οΈŽ 38
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ZackAshM
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my husband I was excited to see who's nose our baby has on the ultrasound, his reply...

he can't have my nose, I need it!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FTM-Oct2020
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
I have been making pencil sketches of my family and it's not exciting at all

Back to the drawing, bored

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/I_Only_Have_One_Hand
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I’m excited it see Pun: The Musical

It’s a play on words

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bobby_vance
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone was excited at the Autopsy Club.

It was open Mike night!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 188
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BastetLXIX
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
You always have to keep your job exciting.

Being a well driller, I often dream I could drill right to the center of the earth.

If I didn't have such a great imagination my job would be just boring.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/leyline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 14 2020
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Frankenstein was excited

It was his first 'body-building' competition.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sne4a
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m excited for Jan 1, 2021

Then I can finally say that hindsight is 2020.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tkseizetheday
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently Orion wasn't too excited about his new belt.

He only gave it 3 stars.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife said she wanted to take me out. I was so excited...

Until I saw the body bag.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Got a new tattoo

My wife was complaining about how i'm not spontanious or creative, unless it involves terrible jokes, so i went out and got a tattoo (my first one). But since im not very creative i had them tattoo a pic of my thermos from work. I went home all excited and showed her my new tattoo! She was really confused about it. She looked at it for awhile and when she went to touch it i yelled at her not to touch the thermos tat. I think she's leaving me now :(

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bosozokulove
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I was so excited to work this morning that last night I slept like a baby.

I woke up every 2 hours and cried.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 96
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TempleOfBone
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife was very excited to finally introduce our kids to her sister...

It was Auntie Climactic.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kinjesus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.

It's Groundbreaking work.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/A_Zenchi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I was really excited when my wife bought me a book for my birthday called β€œ69 Mating Positions”.

Turns out it’s about Chess strategies.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the overly excited Gardner do when spring finally came?

He wet his plants!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jaden-YoungBlood
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow without legs?

Ground beef.

(My Dad was very excited to tell me this during our video chat tonight)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 92
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mgereau
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
People who wear glasses must be excited for next year.

It's the first time they'll see 2020.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nikkobe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
As a lepidopterist I find my job so exciting

it really gives me butterflies

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/spankyham
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 26 2020
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I don’t know why, but there’s something exciting about evaluating women’s armpits...

Its just really axilla rating.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CubanZirconium
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 27 2020
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I know an archaeologist who found a human leg bone during an excavation. The other archaeologists got excited and went over to help him.

Turned out to be quite the shin dig.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 50
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tenglempls
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I got an antique dosimeter from USSR and I was pretty excited.

Then I noticed it only measures comrads.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GentleMonsta
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 05 2020
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I’m so excited! Scientists have tested cloning on humans.

Im beside myself

πŸ‘οΈŽ 94
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheSketchiest
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My date was really excited when I invited her over for cocktails, but she left extremely disappointed.

She didn’t want to hear stories about my rooster.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 43
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I came home with a salamander on my shoulder and my son, all excited, shouted, "What's his name!?” Smiling, I replied, β€œTiny!" My kid laughed and asked, β€œWhat an odd name, why do you call him Tiny?”

I explained, β€œBecause...he’s my newt!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

Flush!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 320
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AllSaintOx
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Today I asked a hot girl at the gym what her new year's resolution was. She replied β€œScrew you!”

So I'm pretty excited for the new year!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/the_houser
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What type of medical condition excites politicians?

Pro-state cancer

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LopsidedVader
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a friend join at cult that believes when they die they become water vapor

I told him they will be mist

πŸ‘οΈŽ 628
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jamiestonee
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
We were all excited about our mountaineering trip, but then our friend Max chickened out.

He has always been an anti climb Max.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 29 2020
🚨︎ report
The COVID19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.

They fear that the social distancing measures could push people over the edge.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sur5er
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I've never been excited over drill bits...

...I've always considered them to be boring tools.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 06 2020
🚨︎ report
In NYC, after these difficult times many people were excited the Lego store was finally reopening.

People were outside lined up for blocks.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/johnblu5
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My first cake day!

I am so excited it’s my first cake day! I know the day is almost over butter late then never!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LordBottom69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Nature just loves when Spring comes around...

I mean just look at the trees, they're re-leaf-ed.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GrayWolf85
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I was excited to join the Autopsy Club

Wednesday’s are Open Mike Night.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 138
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Formaldefortress
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
So excited for autopsy club!

It's open mike night!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 173
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone was excited to be at our autopsy club this evening.

It was open Mike night.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 341
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I was so excited that 2020 is almost over.

Then I realized after 2021 is 2020 too.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone was excited at the Autopsy Club...

It was open Mike night.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone was excited at the Autopsy Club

it was open Mike night

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/velvettriangles
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone was excited about the Autopsy Club meeting...

It was open Mike night.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PrivateTumbleweed
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone was excited about the Autopsy Club meeting...

It was open open Mike night.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PrivateTumbleweed
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report

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