Rudolph the red and his wife were on a stroll. Rudolph the red looked up at the sky and said "we should hurry up, there is a storm comming". So his wife asked "how do u know" and he replied...
"Rudolph the red knows rain dear"
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︎ Oct 09 2020
Don't ever try eating a clock if you're in a hurry
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︎ Jan 14 2021
Which Avenger is always in a hurry?
Black Widow-- cause she's Russian
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︎ Jan 27 2021
Using only the letters L H U T S E, how do you tell an investigator to hurry up?
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︎ Jan 28 2021
What do you call a Slavic man in a hurry?
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︎ Jan 31 2021
For when you need to camp in a hurry
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︎ Dec 02 2020
This happened a while back, I was dropping my 7 year old school son to school. βSon, hurry up, weβre running late.β
Son: βno dad, weβre walking late.β
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︎ Jan 01 2021
You know what it's called when you hurry to develop a vaccine?
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︎ Sep 25 2020
Mom: "Help! I'm hurt! Hurry, call me an ambulance!"
Dad: You're an ambulance.
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︎ Oct 01 2020
I ran into Luke Combs today and I was talking to him about when I caught a 10 lb bass. He said Iβm kinda in a hurry, nice to meet you tho.
So I told him it might not mean much to you but it does to me.
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︎ Sep 04 2020
Tell me something about the British islands. No hurry.
No rush at all. Isle Wight.
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︎ Jun 26 2020
Why was the Queen in a hurry to get to the pool at Westminister?
She didn't want to be late for her chlorination.
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︎ Jul 05 2020
What do you call a south American girl that's always in a hurry?
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︎ Jun 17 2020
We have to hurry! Weβre almost out of
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︎ Dec 14 2019
Which country is always in a hurry?
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︎ Jan 18 2020
Why was the journalist in a hurry?
He had pressing matters to attend
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︎ Feb 27 2020
Why is Dad in such a hurry to buy the glue right before the road trip?
Because it's important that everyone sticks to the plan.
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︎ Jan 07 2020
What are people who are always in a hurry called?
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︎ Jan 08 2020
What type of facial hair often has to leave in a hurry?
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︎ Feb 01 2020
Me: Dad, hurry up! I don't have any patience left!
Dad: Son, you never had any, because you're not a doctor.
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︎ Dec 02 2019
What do eggs do when they are in a hurry?
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︎ Feb 09 2019
Why is Batman in such a hurry?
Heβs gotta go to the Batroom.
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︎ Jun 16 2019
What does a Guacamole in a hurry say?
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︎ Jun 26 2019
If you are a fan of Russian literature you better hurry.
I heard Tolstoiβs R Us is going out of business.
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︎ May 31 2019
I need to learn how to fly in a hurry
but all the flight schools I call hang up on me when I ask if they offer crash courses.
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︎ Dec 07 2018
What kind of dressmaker does Taylor Swift use when in a hurry?
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︎ Jan 30 2019
I was told by Putin to hurry it up when I was in the airport.
Quit Stalin or I'll have to be Russian over here.
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︎ Jan 10 2019
I need a pair of trousers altered in a hurry.
Does anyone know how I can get hold of Taylor Swift?
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︎ Jan 02 2019
βHey son, can you hurry it up in the bathroom? Iβm Little Drummer Boy-ingβ
βIβve gotta take a dump-a dump dump!β
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︎ Jun 15 2018
Tonight I was at work and told a fellow employee I had to hurry and run straight to my next job from here.
He turned to me and asked, "wouldn't driving there be quicker?"
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︎ Jan 08 2018
Everyone asked Robert Mueller to hurry up with the investigation..
He replied, "Quit Russian me!"
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︎ Mar 18 2018
How does the Spanish carpet fitter get his workman to hurry up?
Underlay! Underlay!
Xpost: Jokes
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︎ May 26 2017
How do you unlock the bathroom when you're in a hurry?
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︎ Aug 09 2017
Why is everyone north of Mongolia in such a hurry?
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︎ Aug 06 2013
How can you tell people in the Soviet Union are always in a hurry?
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︎ Aug 10 2015
Went to lunch with my dad yesterday and I was in a hurry to get back to work.
Me: Alright, Ive got to run.
Dad: Just take your car. It will be quicker.
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︎ Mar 19 2015
In a Hurry
While driving past the cemetery my mom says "oh look they're building new grave plots" and my dad responds "people are dying to get a spot in there"
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︎ Jun 20 2014
It's been very chilly for the past couple of days, so my SO was in a hurry to get inside.
SO: "I'm gonna run into the house when we get home"
Me: "Don't do that, you'll wreck the car."
No response except for a single sigh.
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︎ Nov 20 2014
Did you hear about the Slavic man who was in a hurry?
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︎ Feb 09 2021
Why was Batman in a hurry?
He had to go to the Batroom.
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︎ Oct 10 2018
Which Avenger is in a hurry?
Black Widow. Shes Russian.
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︎ Feb 14 2019
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