Every morning I announce loudly to my family that I’m going jogging, but then don’t go.

It’s a running joke.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Titsonafish
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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Have you heard of the workout where you drink rum and then do jogging?

It's called Ba-cardio

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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Whenever I see someone jogging on a cold winter morning, I always think to myself, β€œWow! I’m so impressed....

....that I am up this early!”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2018
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Whenever my wife wants me to go jogging, I immediately wrap myself with an American flag.

Because those colors don’t run.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2018
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Ever since the pandemic started, every morning I proudly announce to my family that I’m going for a jog and then I don’t...

It’s my longest running joke of the year so far...

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 27
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Every day at breakfast, I announce that I’m going for a jog, and then I don’t.

It was my longest running joke of the year.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
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My name is Aaron. My son's name is Aaron too. Every morning, we go for a jog together.

When my wife asks where we went, I tell her we were just running Aarons.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cronenberg_C137
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
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Every night I tell my wife I’m going out for a jog, but I don’t go, and she knows it

It’s a running joke.

πŸ‘︎ 404
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eggs_bacon_toast
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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My friend loves to jog uphill.

He always feels inclined to do so.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
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What did the illiterate guy say when he saw a religious referee on a morning jog?

A Ref runned!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schwanz_Hintern64
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
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Every morning for the past six months, I announce loudly to my family that I'm going for a jog, and then I don't.

It's my longest running joke of the year.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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Every morning for the past six months, I announce loudly to my family that I’m going for a jog, and then I don’t.

It’s my longest running joke of this year.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Every morning at breakfast, I tell my family that I’m going for a jog, and then I don’t.

It’s my longest running joke of the year.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
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Always poop before you go for a jog.

Otherwise you might get the runs.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AZREDFERN
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
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What did Captain America say to Iron Man after taking his morning jog?

I run, man!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/166a
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
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This morning, I jogged around the block 15 times.

Then I picked it up, and put it back in my kid’s toy box.

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
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Why did the guy with amnesia go for a run?

He wanted to jog his memory.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rlchv70
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
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I went to the gym and hopped on the treadmill.

People started looking at me weird, so I started jogging instead.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumb-reply
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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While I was at the gym, I decided to hop on a treadmill.

People started giving me weird looks, so I started jogging instead.

πŸ‘︎ 491
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sp1cyRice
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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LPT: If you have trouble remembering your password, find a picture of some running shoes and stare at it.

maybe it'll help jog your memory.

πŸ‘︎ 215
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
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I tried doing a sketch while running a marathon

But I kept on getting jogged

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
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One special birthday my father gave me a clock that had been running since the day of my birth.

I had the time of my life.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2018
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I was showing my daughter how to cook noodles

I turned on the water and started to jog in place. She said, "dad, you are not even running!"

"But, the water is." I said

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/splinterhood
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
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'Dad why are you running around?'

'That's the thing, I can't remember why so I'm trying to jog my memory.'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TruufadeR
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
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I need a name for a running group.

I had one in mind but I'm having trouble jogging my memory and am running out of ideas. Any help is much appreciated.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/canadasecond
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2013
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My first dad joke memory

When I was a kid, my mom would take my siblings and me to go sledding at the park after a big snow storm. One time we saw my dad's friend jogging there only wearing shorts. I couldn't believe he would do that in the cold and I couldn't wait to tell my dad. Here's how that conversation went...

Me: Dad we saw Mr. Smith running in the snow with shorts on!

Dad: Who's Shortson?

I'm still laughing about it 20 years later.

πŸ‘︎ 134
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jstarving
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2014
🚨︎ report
So I was talking to a buddy

I was catching up with a friend after a busy week for the both of us. I asked if he had time to go for his jog this week. He told me he couldn't remember.

I told him to go for one so he could re-jog his memory.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cantaloupe_elope
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2017
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I realized I was late to my kid's soccer game. [OC]

I was running late to my kid's soccer game, so I started to jog. Then I borrowed my brother's bicycle, but I still wasn't going fast enough. So I smashed the window of a fancy SUV, hot-wired it, and slammed down on the gas pedal. Well, that Escaladed quickly.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/captainwalnut
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2017
🚨︎ report
Dad jokes that don't make sense at first. But then...

My Dad would always make jokes that no one got at first and then he'd explain and the cheesiness level was off the charts. Like we'd say "Bye!" if we were leaving and he'd say "Sell!" Or if were were leaving the dinner table we'd say "call me back for dessert" and then he'd yell "Hey, back for dessert". Everytime he sees someone jogging he says "leave earlier!" When we'd ask why, he'd say "well, if they left earlier, they would have to run". That joke is family lore in our household.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hawkreddit
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2015
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My dad got me good as a kid...

I was told this belonged here..

When I was about 13 yrs old, I was playing basketball at the rec league by my house. During one of the games, an opponent was fouled. So we are lined up waiting for him to shoot his foul shots, and my coach sends in a substitute player for me. So I'm jogging towards the bench. When I get about 10-15ft away from the bench, I tripped and slide head-first into the bench. The whole gym let's out an, "ooohhh....", and just as it gets quiet, my dad stands up on the other side of the gym and like an umpire in baseball yells, "SAFE!"

After the game, I yelled at him for it. His response... "Hey, I could've called you 'out!'"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beer_knurd
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2015
🚨︎ report
So I heard Foo Fighters released a new song titled "Run"...

That means they have made music to Walk to, and now to Run to... Here's hoping I get some music to Jog or Sit to.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AngelicShaft
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2017
🚨︎ report
Got my girlfriend while working out

Today we were jogging and my girlfriend told me about an instagram account she had made to put pictures of her weight loss and said it was private and only invited people that she looks up to. Then I asked her why she added me too. She said "Well of course I look up to you" I replied "I know, I'm taller than you"

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kinkiman
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2015
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One of my Dad's...

We'll be walking around town and we'll see somebody running or jogging, and he'll yell, "slow down! There's a speed limit on this road!"

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CoolSteveBrule
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2013
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Just Thought of a Dad Joke.

[Person A and B are jogging]

Person A: Why did you stop?

Person B: Wheeze I just need to catch my breath...

Person A: If you want to catch it, you will never get to it by stopping!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blade4004
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2014
🚨︎ report
Nice try dad

So my dad and I are planing to go on a jog, and I tell him my shins hurt from falling on the stairs the other day... His reply? "Well, you SHINndt do that" -_-

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shermen744
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2015
🚨︎ report
Every morning for the past 6 months, I announce loudly to my family that I'm going for a jog, and then I don't.

It's my longest running joke this year.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickelm_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
🚨︎ report
While I was at the gym, I decided to hop on a treadmill.

People started giving me weird looks, so I started jogging instead.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report

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