Mommy tomato, daddy tomato, and baby tomato were all out for a leisurely Sunday stroll

They walked through the flower gardens at the park. They skimmed stones across the lake. They fed the ducks bread.

It was a perfect Sunday.

Then daddy tomato had a call that his brother was in hospital. Across the road was a bus destined for that very place.

They ran back through the park dodging ducks and tripping on stones and getting tangled in foliage. Baby tomato was starting to lag a little. So daddy tomato, in a panic, shot glances at the arriving bus and his helpless offspring. He Ran to his son and with all his might squashed him into the pavement with his Dr Martins boots and said


πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I've done a lot of leisurely travel in my life so far, but the closest I'll ever be to jet setting is probably on my shower head.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/walpolemarsh
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2017
🚨︎ report
A jewish pastor becomes a missionary...

...and ends up on the Island of Trid. The people there are starving and explain to the pastor that it’s because whenever they try to harvest the fruit at the top of the mountain, the nasty giant comes out of his cave and boots them all back down the hill. This infuriates the pastor who then declares that tomorrow he will join them on their next attempt. The next day they all march up the mountain together, and sure enough, out comes the giant who proceeds to kick all of the locals back down the hill leaving only the new guy to gather fruit at his leisure. Finally, he stops and asks the giant, β€œWell, aren’t you going to knock me off the mountain?”. Shaking his head, the giant says, β€œSilly rabbi, kicks are for Trids”.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ‘€︎ u/5YearApril
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
What do well bred people do in their leisure time?

They loaf around.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
From a random guy in a furniture store

This happened a few weeks ago. I had a little extra time at lunch one day so I decided to stop at a furniture store since we've been looking at getting a new couch.

I'm leisurely walking around the store browsing with my hands in my pockets when I see an elderly couple being shown around by the salesman. The old gentleman sees me and gets a smirk. He wobbles over too me, away from his wife and the salesman, leans in so only I can hear and, out of the blue, says:

"He who has his hands in his pockets has more on the ball than at first it would seem."

He smiles, says nothing else, and wobbles back. That put a smile on my face and had me laughing the rest of the day.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/Woundedduk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2015
🚨︎ report
One for my fellow sci-fans.

I was wondering, if River Song were to visit Deep Space 9, where would she spend all her leisure time?

Then the answer became obvious. Holo-Suite-E.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/Myntrith
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2015
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.