I heard the catering on the Star Wars movies was exceptional. An admirable snackbar.
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ‘€︎ u/DalbergTheKing
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
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I started a catering business for incest parties.

It's called Oedipal Arrangements.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ‘€︎ u/wasprobot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
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I'm gonna have a catering company that specializes in small plates & call it Pemdas.

Y'know, since it'll be hors d'oeuvre operations.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/ii_akinae_ii
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2018
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Witnessed this beauty in line at a catering table...

There was a spread of meats and salads for dinner, and above the table was a light that was flickering - giving off a strobe effect.

To which the person behind me casually remarks under his breath; β€œHmm, don’t mind me a bit of seizure salad”.

I thought it was great. No one else seemed to appreciate it.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ‘€︎ u/freeebbo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2018
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You know why I love catering Japanese BBQ's?

Because they're a wok in the park

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ‘€︎ u/Big_Words
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2012
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A Thai restaurant that does wedding catering


πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/MaccabeeYourself
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2014
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Advertising catered to my tastes
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ‘€︎ u/RealCodezz
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
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I'm going to open a Vietnamese restaurant that caters to the skeptic.

I think I'll name it But Pho Real.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ‘€︎ u/BizzareCzar
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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This catalog must cater to stick people.
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/pdtecrj2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
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I finally found a great pub that caters to tall people like me

And let me tell you, they really raised the bar!

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2018
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My brother asked me to cater his wedding. He wants over 200 servings of roasted lamb chops.

Ain't nobody got thyme for that

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/riffdex
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2015
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[OC] When lunch is catered at the bank... imgur.com/2zmM4dS
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/lexhardcastle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2014
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Once upon a time, a setup went to a ball.

At the ball were many important people, well above the setup’s class. There was Original Content, Reposts, and even a couple from Google Searches for β€˜Dad Jokes Nobody Knows’.

Just seeing them made his mouth dry, so he began looking for something to drink. He knew his friend Joke was there somewhere, part of the crew catering the food and drinks. Seeing a server carrying glasses of champagne, he went up to him and asked,

β€œWould you know where to find the one they call the Joke? He’s supposed to be running drinks I think,”

β€œYeah! For sure. He’s right over there! You’ll find him at the end of the punch line,”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/cosmicnate
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
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I'm going to open a department store that caters to female pop singers.

It's going to be called, "Lorde and Taylor Swift". Seeking investors.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2016
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The folks at Benjamin Moore like to cater to dads looking at paint colors... imgur.com/CwIANUP
πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ‘€︎ u/Funkbass
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2013
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Mutya Beuna from the Sugababes...

... threw a party just for the hell of it, and decided it should have a Shakespearean theme.

The invitations read: Mutya Do About Nothing

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBearDidLady
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
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Got my colleague today

We were catering this morning at a local breakfast event. After we cleaned up we hung out in the kitchen and she was talking about a wooden table that was there too.

Her: "I think this thing is amazing. I think that's for beating meat" (not what you think)

Me: "I'd use a hammer for that"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/CetusNiveus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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The letters W and Z were getting married, and they invited all the other letters to their wedding...

The only ones who didn't respond were the letters T, X and Y.

So W and Z ordered 23 catered meals: 2 for them and 21 for their guests.

The wedding was great, but there was trouble at the reception. The letter T came, even though she didn't RSVP.

When the meals were being passed out, the chef served the groom (W) and bride (Z) first, then asked everyone else to line up alphabetically to come get their prepared plates. As the last two letters approached the chef, he said "there must be a mistake. I only have one meal left." Just then, T grabbed the last meal, and rudely said to the other letter "Sucks to be U."

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th, because I know how to reduce fractions unlike the rest of you morons [xpost /r/trees]

This joke caters to the lowest common denominator.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ‘€︎ u/zakmackay
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2016
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My best work so far.

At work, there was a metal catering tray filled to the brim with cold water sittin' around for no reason so I asked the receptionist/coworker, who has said repeatedly that she just can't stand me, if I should dump it. She looked at me, smiled and said "If you can." I responded "without spilling it?" In a 'of course I'm not going to spill but dont rule it out' way. She said "Yes." Silently giving me good luck. Fortunately, I done did the deed and no brand new flooring was harmed. I then proceeded to google water jokes. After that, I walked up to her desk, glanced into her soul for the slightest moment while greeting, "Hey Sarah" , then I swiftly looked downwards as she asked, "Yeah?" I THEN told her this, "I don't know about you but unlike that cold water I just dumped". I pause, regain eye contact and finished with, "boiling water will be mist."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/dafuq0_0
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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What is the temple of insects standing on?


πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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f(x) walks into a bar.

The waiter said, β€œSorry. We don’t cater to functions here.”

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2018
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My friend is destined to be a Dad..

Friend: Yo, JA24, I was thinking of starting a business
Me: Oh really, doing what?
Friend: Airline Pastry catering
Me: ...sounds oddly specific
Friend: Well it's just a pie in the sky at the moment!

He comes out with these all the time, he's destined to embarrass his kids with these one day :P

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ‘€︎ u/JA24
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2013
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Is Michael Giacchino the greatest Star Trek Dad Joker in the world?

He must have it in his Genes.

But seriously check out his Star Trek track listings. The guy loves a good pun.

Star Trek

  1. Star Trek

  2. Nailin' The Kelvin

  3. Labor Of Love

  4. Hella Bar Talk

  5. Enterprising Young Men

  6. Nero Sighted

  7. Nice To Meld You

  8. Run And Shoot Offense

  9. Does It Still McFly?

  10. Nero Death Experience

  11. Nero Fiddles, Narada Burns

  12. Back From Black

  13. That New Car Smell

  14. To Boldly Go

  15. End Credits

Star Trek Into Darkness

  1. Logos / Pranking The Natives

  2. Spock Drops, Kirk Jumps

  3. Sub Prime Directive

  4. London Calling

  5. Meld-Merized

  6. The Kronos Wartet

  7. Brigadoom

  8. Ship To Ship

  9. Earthbound And Down

  10. Warp Core Values

  11. Buying The Space Farm

  12. The San Fran Hustle

  13. Kirk Enterprises

  14. Star Trek Main Theme

Star Trek Beyond

  1. Logo and Prosper

  2. Thank Your Lucky Star Date

  3. Night on the Yorktown

  4. The Dance of the Nebula

  5. A Swarm Reception

  6. Hitting the Saucer a Little Hard

  7. Jaylah Damage

  8. In Artifacts as in Life

  9. Franklin, My Dear

  10. A Lesson in Vulcan Mineralogy

  11. MotorCycles of Relief

  12. Mocking Jaylah

  13. Crash Decisions

  14. Krall-y Krall-y Oxen Free

  15. Shutdown Happens

  16. Cater-Krall in Zero G

  17. Par-tay for the Course

  18. Star Trek Main Theme

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/thegeneral400
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
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On the sign of a local restaurant

Deborah Owen brings years of catering experience to the table, and Mark made his dough from a former pizzeria.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/J-Dahm
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2014
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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Technically a wife joke

So friends of ours are at EuroDisney and they just sent my wife a message saying that they were having a great time, but that they didn't cater for gluten-free. My wife's response (drum roll please):

"What kind of Mickey Mouse catering operation are they running over there?"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/overkill
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2015
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"They'll drift apart."

I was catering a wedding and this dad joke was given during the dad's speech:

Dad: "When they got engaged, my wife and I went out to look for a present to get them to congratulate them. My wife thought the best gift idea would be to purchase them a water bed. I said, 'A water bed?! They'll drift apart!'"

Classic dad joke.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ‘€︎ u/zzurn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2013
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"That's a wrap!"

I'm a catering cook in Seattle and for new years eve we served a turkey bacon wrap. Whenever somebody ordered the wrap I would tell them, "last lunch of 2014, that's a wrap!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/PrinceBeartime
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2015
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Very bad dad joke at work today...

So I work in a cafeteria/catering service for a billion dollar company, I serve executives of said company.. Today we had a very good kale salad which garnered a bunch of compliments.. One lady asked how we made it..

I responded with a "it's a secret, if I told you I'd have to kale you!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/Longshorebroom0
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2014
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Just because I'm a childless female doesn't mean I can't dad joke.

Background: My SO and I were at a flea market in LA the other day where there were food trucks scattered about. The one we chose to eat at specialized in grilled cheese (my favorite food). They had a sign saying they would cater special events... I asked how far of a radius they would travel. Cheese Griller: We actually have a few trucks between here and Texas. Me: None in North Carolina? Cheese Griller: Nope. Me: Well... are you looking for any francheesors?

SO immediately disowned me and walked away.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/lliz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2014
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