Me (feeling discomfort while at a North Atlantic bird-themed amusement park):

"Well, this is Auk-World...."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pj566
πŸ“…︎ May 06
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How do you know an amusement park isn't fake?

When you see the ferris wheel.

(Made this joke after a 10 minute argument with my 5 year old niece. She pointed out the ferris wheel and I kept saying "I know... the fair is real.")

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFifthStep
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
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At amusement parks, when the line splits, we never pick the right line.

We always go left.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/masterzeus2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
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What do you call an amusement ride made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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Did you ever hear of the girl who got dumper at the amusement park?

It was an emotional roller coaster

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigggdaddie
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
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My friends were arguing about which roller coaster to go on next at the amusement park. When they asked for my opinion, I told them I didn't care.

I was just along for the rides.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBuccaneer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2017
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Dad jokes at the old amusement park.

First day of summer vacation, pack up the family and bring them to Canobie Lake Park, a local amusement park.

We all get on the Ferris Wheel and the listen to the instructions:

Operator: "Please keep you arms and legs in the cart at all times, remain seated until the ride comes to a complete stop and please NO ROCKING!"

Me: "Awwww man, I was just abut to crank some AC/DC"

My family and the family in line behind us: ::audible groans::

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MikeTheBum
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2016
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The Foo Fighters should have their own amusement park ride called the "Rockin' Grohlercoaster"

I just picture Dave Grohl riding the coaster car in his throne with his leg in a cast rocking out.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tubachris85x
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2016
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Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the amusement park?

He sued them for funfair dismissal.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wizzix
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2017
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Taking a car load of kids to amusement park today. One kid screams "Please tell me that's Knott's Berry Farm." ...

I reply, "It's Knott."

Kids in unison "Awww."

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Papa-Dam
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2016
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Saw a guy riding an amusement park ride alone today.

I wonder if he still said "weeee!", or if he said "meeee!" instead.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/igdfr
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2016
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At an amusement park when I was younger

Me: Come on Dad, pick up the pace!

dad: Why? Did you drop it?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tetraporc
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2013
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He was... not amused lol
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lunatoons291
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
What do you call an amusing, mushroom-looking person?

A fun guy.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fakt_adolf
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10
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While my wife was in labor I read her jokes to distract her from the pain, but she didn’t seem amused...

I guess it was the delivery!

πŸ‘︎ 209
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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When I found out crayola had a amusment park I was colerfuly suprised.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFlom
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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The society is not amused
πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_joeri
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
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Filling out a report at work... and finding ways to amuse myself while doing so
πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HumusGoose
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
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Cheesin’

My girlfriend and I opened a new pack of pre-sliced cheese. As we’re munching, I hold my mouth in pain and say β€œOw!” She asked what was wrong and I said, β€œWell no wonder my mouth hurts, the package says this is extra sharp cheddar.” She was not amused

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
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Was this intentional?
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jilaXSXL
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
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When my wife was having our baby, I tried to distract her by telling Dad jokes. She wasn’t amused.

Must have been the delivery.

πŸ‘︎ 714
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2018
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I used to work at the calendar factory

... but was fired for taking a couple of days off!

Not unknown, but a fave. I also wanted to say I became a certified dad today! I plan on utilizing this sub to torture my new child.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EridonMan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
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πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deans_Roast
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
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How do Vikings send messages ?

With Norse Code!

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frugatti_cuse
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
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Just came up with this joke for my roommate, she was not amused.

What do you call a stone with eyes?

Roxy

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
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While my wife was in labor, I told her jokes to distract her from the pain, but she wasn't amused…

It must have been the delivery…

πŸ‘︎ 296
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2017
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I wasn't amused when my friend stole my equivalent trigonometric expressions

Identity theft is not a joke.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GuyInFridge
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
🚨︎ report
She wasn’t very amused
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xJacon
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2018
🚨︎ report
My football coach seemed to find my lack of punting ability amusing

I however, couldn't seem to get a kick out of it

bonus: (pun)ting

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ppoong
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2018
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If my kid is easily amused with a mirror, does that mean he will self distract?
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fightmilk22
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2018
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You can pick your friends or you can pick your nose...

but you can't pick your friend's nose.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/barelysentient-
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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My friend spent a year in China, but today he got sent back to the United States. He's feeling really...

Disoriented

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Myusernameisfish
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
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My roommate ran out of buns and used the last of my flatbreads for his breakfast this morning. He didn't find my response amusing.
πŸ‘︎ 133
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imnotwitty
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2014
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So here's Perry
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hados1109
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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That's a foot and...
πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RabbitGuySentMe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2017
🚨︎ report
My pun was underappreciated. Give me some love guys.
πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ColonelPopcorn-mt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
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β€œMillennial cool”
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AvAn-ti
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
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I called work this morning and whispered, "Sorry boss, I can't come in today. I have a wee cough." He exclaimed, "You have a wee cough!?"

I said, "Really?! Thanks boss, see you next week!"

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2018
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Wife was not amused

Recently in my neck of the woods, we have been experiencing a cold snap. This morning, my wife set me up for a zinger.

Wife (dressing our 10 month old daughter): I don't know how to dress her.

Me: Shirt goes on the top half, pants on the bottom half.

Wife: No! I mean for the temperature!

Me: Oh! Honey I don't think the temperature cares what she wears today.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neocontra
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2014
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Started a new job recently and my fiance asked me if there was a gym in my building...

I said, not sure I haven't met everyone yet. She was not amused.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dubya525
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
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Said this in my friends car, they weren't amused

talking about a tv show

"I've got seasons 1 to 6, do you want them?"

"What about season 3, 4, and 5?"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RorariiRS
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2017
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Customer dadjoked my boss and I tonight. I loved it. His wife and my boss were not amused.

So I work at a pizza shop. This middle aged man, typical dad polo shirt, white New Balances, etc... comes in with his wife. They want subs. So my boss is taking their order. She asks him if he wants any cheese on his sub. He responds "yeah, that religious stuff". My boss looks up at him confused and says, "what?". I immediately jump in and say, "Swiss!" My boss looks even more confused. The guy is smirking and says, "yeah, the holy kind!" His wife lets out the biggest groan as him and I crack up. My boss just shook her head and walked away in disgust.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/relytv2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2014
🚨︎ report
The grocery store employee was not amused.

I was at a warehouse store yesterday and turned down an aisle to see two employees standing over a spilled gallon of pancake syrup.

"Boy, that looks like a sticky situation"

Neither employee laughed.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Homer_Goes_Crazy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2015
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I was acting like a butt, and my wife said "I am not amused."...

I replied "of course not, you're Kate!" (Wife's name).

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StretchSmiley
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2016
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend was not amused.

Me: Tears magazine in half.

Her: "How did you do that?"

Me: "'Shear' force."

I stared at her until she gave me a look of disgust and walked away.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justrex11
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2016
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...still not amused...

Kid 1 & kid 2 talking and 1 says "when I get home I'll just slip on my dress"...so I says to her, I says "if you think you'll slip on it, why don't you just pick it up off the floor?"... Kids not amused... Later... 1's working on 2's eyebrows and they ask me to bring them her makeup kit...so I asks "what for, have y'all been fighting?"... Still not amused... I'll keep you updated

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/samoerai
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2016
🚨︎ report
Little sister asked my dad for a horse when she was younger. She wasn't amused with the reply

Sister: "Hey Dad, can I please have a horse for my birthday?"

Dad: "Sorry honey, don't have anywhere to put it."

Sister: Starts Crying "This is unfair, I never get what I want."

Dad: "C'mon now sweetheart, why the long-face?"

Sister: "STOP DAD! THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!"

Dad: "Ok..ok..we'll get one. I'll go see if we can store it at the Neiigghhghbors house"

Dad proceeds to burst out laughing

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blackcactuswes
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2013
🚨︎ report
PSA:
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Niffer13
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2017
🚨︎ report
Amused my son with some dad humor

I had just gotten off the phone with my wife on the car bluetooth and the radio came on. Of course Adele's Hello started playing (why is this song so overplayed?) so I pretended it was another call and started replying to her. It works for the first few verses.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JTsyo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2016
🚨︎ report
Not exactly a dad joke, but close. None of the fathering a child, but all of the self amused word play. vimeo.com/65102146
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rampantdissonance
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2013
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The theater was not amused

Have my phone out during the commercials before the commercials leading up to a movie and they show the "please silence you cell phones" message.

Just then I get a text and my phone dings.

"Shhhhhhh. Be quiet. "

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cageisthetruegod
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2015
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If it’s not the right restaurant, it’s probably the Rong Restaurant.
πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
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Saying "I'm sorry" is the same as saying "I apologize"

Unless you're at a funeral

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KindDouche
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2018
🚨︎ report
I amused my self after practicing today

What's the best part about being a unicyclist?

I'm never two tired!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sebastian-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2014
🚨︎ report
Not my dad. But still amused.

So took this from Not Always Right. I thought it deserved to be here.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CptGrizzly
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2014
🚨︎ report
Roommate wasn't amused.

Hear a squeak

Me: Did the cat just meow?

Roommate: I think it was a dog.

Me: One of the dogs meowed?!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schatzie831
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2014
🚨︎ report
Why I'm leaving /r/dadjokes...

I have to get groceries from the store.

EDIT: I'm back

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/derekd223
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2013
🚨︎ report
What kind of key opens no doors?

A Turkey

πŸ‘︎ 743
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mustachereviews
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2016
🚨︎ report
Three-sixty please

On holidays in Germany, buying a glass of water for my son in a beergarten.

  • Cashier: "three-sixty please"
  • Me: jump 360
  • Me: "Can I go now?"
  • Cashier: visibly not amused "three EURO sixty!"
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/piedssurmars
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
How far can I get...

(True Dad Joke Story)

My friend and I were coming back from golfing on what felt like the hottest day of the year when he got a flat tire on the freeway. We get out, sweat our butts off, and change the tire. I wasn’t sure how far we could go on the spare and I called my dad to see what he thought...

ME: β€œHow far can we get on a donut?”

DAD: β€œHmmm I’d probably say till lunch time!”

Needless to say I was not amused at the time - my dad thought he was a genius.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoobieWRX
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad would be proud

I been fooling around with this girl who's 5'9" and 110lbs.

Me: I don't understand how you're so skinny; we both eat the same unhealthy garbage

Her: It's hereditary, everyone in my family is real skinny.

Me: So I guess you've got skinny genes!

I laughed hysterically. She was mildly amused.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/0000001010011010
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2015
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My girlfriend hates me

So we walked inside of a Tim Hortons...

GF: What do you want to order?

Me: No idea, what sounds good?

GF: I want a raisin bagel. Do you like raisin bagels?

Me: I don't know, I've never raised a bagel before.

She wasn't amused.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WorkHardRunHarder
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2017
🚨︎ report
My wife pointed to a flowering shrub and said "hibiscus"...

I waved at it as I walked by and replied "Bye-Biscus"

If her audible groan was not satisfaction enough, the amused chuckle of the older gentleman walking in the other direction certainly was.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/somethingknotty
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2015
🚨︎ report
Found out I was color blind yesterday.

It came out of the purple

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anonymouskern
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2018
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Fishing

Me: hey dad wanna go fishing?

Dad: sure

Me: do you have worms?

Dad: yep, but I'm going fishing anyways

He can't help himself, and it's still amusing after 20 years

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tommy2tables
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
How to catch an elephant. A story by my dad which got me a walk to the Principal's office in 2nd grade

Rolling back 40 yrs or so, here's the story I told to my 2nd grade class.

To catch an elephant, you first need to go to the jungle where elephants are found. Then you cut down all the trees in a big circle, and dig a hole out. Put the trees in the hole and burn them down to ashes. Carefully line the edge of the hole with peas.

And when an Elephant comes to take a Pea, you kick him in the Ash-Hole!

Everyone about died. Hell, even the teacher and principal were laughing about it. Dad was amused. Mom was not.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGoodLordsTaint
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2016
🚨︎ report
Just now w/my daughter at Zupas I gasped and pointed behind the cashier and said β€œoh no...

you have a leek” she spun around looking for water. Then she saw the bucket of produce. She was not amused πŸ˜’

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/8bagels
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Pretty proud of my son ; wife isn't so much

This last weekend we went to an amusement park. Everything we went through the little things that spray water on you, my 9 year old would say, "Mist me." Every single time. My wife and daughter's reaction became more and more aggravated, but I felt pretty good about it.

πŸ‘︎ 495
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sineofthetimes
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2016
🚨︎ report
[META] Is this the ultimate dad joke?

A while ago, my daughter told me she was into fan fiction. I told her I used to be as well, but I changed to air conditioner fiction... because it was cooler.

She was not amused.

I have now created a subreddit called r/AirConditionerFiction

If you have the time and the desire, drop by and leave a short work of fiction regarding air conditioning. If this is successful, I will give my daughter a link and wait to see her facial expression. I will also prepare for being put in a less-then-stellar retirement home.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/welded_angus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2016
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I spy with my little eye, something grey...

Apparently my son is the ultimate dad joker, as his instant reply was my hair. Much to the amusement of his mother and brother. For me the game was over and done with... πŸ˜‚

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/b8410
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Pretended to get shocked while fixing an electric switch.

Her: Are you okay?

Me: Yeah. It just Hertz a little.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2018
🚨︎ report
So I tried dad-joking /r/politics...

They were not amused. (Link)

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ragnarocka
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2014
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Lunar Eclipsis
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MashedHair
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2016
🚨︎ report
Crumbs - just happened

My kids got these chocolate covered ants cookies for Christmas. They asked me to open the package and I said be careful with crumbs, I don't want ants in the house.

Nobody but me was amused.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZER0EFFSGIVEN
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
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I know you're rushing...

I'm a waitress and this one got dropped on me today when a family of 5 came in. They had previously stated they were in a hurry so brought them the check and said (i should probably mention that I have a very southern accent) 'I know y'all are rushin' so-' the dad cut me off with 'No, we're Americans.' His kids and wife were not amused and I just busted up laughing and high fived him. Anyway, I thought you guys would enjoy it.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/insaneyetnoble
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2014
🚨︎ report
Got my 6 year old last night.

Daughter: Do you know what my favorite kind of bird is?

Me: Cockatiels? (my educated guess since we have two)

Daughter: No, it's an owl.

Me: Who?

Daughter: An owl.

Me: Who?

Daughter: AN OWL!

Me: Who? (while laughing)

Daughter: Daddy... (finally catches on, but not amused)

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blindninjafart
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2014
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5yo daughter: "Dad! I've got something in my shoe :("

Me: Is it feet?

She's never amused. It's usually a small pebble or a piece of tree bark or something.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xbtdev
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2014
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What time is it?

BACKGROUND: I'm a sleep technologist and there's an intercom connecting my office to the patients' rooms. They call out when they need something (eg. blanket, bathroom visit, etc.)

Patient calls out, "Hey, what time is it out there?" so I replied "Probably the same time it is in there, why?"

The patient was too sleepy to be amused but it made me laugh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/runfromfire
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2014
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Toot Hill Butts

An amusingly-named road in Oxfordshire, England.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hour4masterpiece
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
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my daughter can't always see the humor in my jokes

http://imgur.com/ksB8cST she had to replace her phone and lost all her contacts...she posted "I need numbers.I lost all of my contacts.", so I replied "can't you just wear your glasses?!"... she wasn't as amused by my joke as I was.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/samoerai
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2014
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Have you heard about the guy that died?

Told my wife this one his morning. She was not amused....

Me: Did you hear about the guy that died at Proctor and Gamble?

Her: No, what happened?

Me: Yeah he was at the lotion storage tanks I guess and he fell in and drowned because they couldn’t get him out.

Her: That sounds awful, what a terrible way to die.

Me: Yeah I guess what they say is true about this all.

Her: What?

Me: A body in lotion tends to stay in lotion

Her: ................. I’m serving you papers after that.......

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sleepytiger82
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2018
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My dad made a joke at dinner...

Mom: "Did you know that grapes can kill dogs?"

Dad: "You'd have to throw them pretty hard..."

My mom was not amused, but I was losing it haha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bishuuup
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2015
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My wife heard noise from the bathroom, and said that the toilet was running

Yes, I asked if she could catch it.

Not amused.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2018
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"I named my kitten Timon."

Why did you name him that?

"Haven't you seen Lion King? He's named after the meerkat!"

That is not a meerkat, it is a mere cat.

Interaction with my stepsister. She was not amused.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Archaeoculus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2016
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The Chevy Volt is still selling?

There's a shocker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ares2596
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2013
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Did you hear about the magic tractor?

He went down the road and turned into a field!

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2013
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If aliens came to Earth and used the creatures here as test subjects, what kind of candy would they create?

Species Pieces.

Every time I come up with one of these, I am simultaneously amused and extremely upset with myself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BarryJertheim
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2015
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Told my partner we should change our surname to Berry...

Then she could be my Boo Berry.

She wasn't amused.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fuddlesworth
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2018
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FiancΓ©e was distraught about killing a duck... tried cheering her up with a dad joke.

So my fiancΓ©e came home from work earlier this week, clearly upset. I asked what was wrong and she went on to tell me about how she accidentally ran over a duck.

In an attempt to comfort her, my compassionate and empathetic self responds with, "well I guess it's safe to say the duck suffered from a quacked skull huh?"

She was not amused.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ih8YourCat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2014
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My Sister complained that her office was cold...

... And her husband suggested she move her desk into the corner because it's always 90 degrees.

She was not as amused as he was.

πŸ‘︎ 513
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joealarson
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2014
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Was asked by sister to call her cell phone so she could find it. I decided it was dad joke time instead.

So my sister asked me to call her cell phone, so i of coarse said "here cell phone here come out cell phone". She then yelled at me and said "nooooooo use your cell phone to call mine", i said "yes of coarse how silly of me". I then went to get my cell phone, i then made a recording of my self calling for her cell phone, i proceeded to go back to her and play it. My sister was not amused and i laughed to hard.

πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kup123
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2016
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Went to an art class today...

And when my girlfriend showed her piece, he scolded and critiqued her...In defense of my girlfriend I quickly shouted, "Hey, that's where I draw the line! You need to easel up on my girlfriend!"

He wasn't amused.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevingcp
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2015
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Dinner Table Dad Joke

Sitting at the dinner table as always, my family was discussing my brother's plans for building a vegetable garden in the backyard. My mom and him were discussing costs of wood, seeds, and other miscellaneous items needed.

My dad was strangely quite during the whole conversation with a slight grin. My mom then asks my brother;

"How much do think the soil will cost?"My dad then blurts out, "I don't know, its probably dirt cheap..."

He had been waiting the whole time to say this, and nobody is amused.

Edit: fixed stupid blocky letters...

πŸ‘︎ 400
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πŸ‘€︎ u/narcicide
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2014
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Receptionist got me

Left the office a little early today.

Me: "Gotta jet!" Her: "Did you win the lottery this weekend?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AgentDL
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2016
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Nautical Nonsense

Was at my friends cabin helping him ready the boat to go out on the lake. Friend: "Looks like we're in good shape" Me: "Yeah, ship shape"

He was not amused.

πŸ‘︎ 133
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πŸ‘€︎ u/petersk8008
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2014
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