A Ferrous Wheel! :D
The mother says, "Hey everyone, look at that. Isn't that amazing?" The father, unimpressed, replies, "It's just an algorithm".
Yes. It's a ferrous wheel
The Ferrous Wheel!
"Well, this is Auk-World...."
When you see the ferris wheel.
(Made this joke after a 10 minute argument with my 5 year old niece. She pointed out the ferris wheel and I kept saying "I know... the fair is real.")
We always go left.
It was an emotional roller coaster
I was just along for the rides.
First day of summer vacation, pack up the family and bring them to Canobie Lake Park, a local amusement park.
We all get on the Ferris Wheel and the listen to the instructions:
Operator: "Please keep you arms and legs in the cart at all times, remain seated until the ride comes to a complete stop and please NO ROCKING!"
Me: "Awwww man, I was just abut to crank some AC/DC"
My family and the family in line behind us: ::audible groans::
I just picture Dave Grohl riding the coaster car in his throne with his leg in a cast rocking out.
He sued them for funfair dismissal.
I reply, "It's Knott."
Kids in unison "Awww."
I wonder if he still said "weeee!", or if he said "meeee!" instead.
Me: Come on Dad, pick up the pace!
dad: Why? Did you drop it?
They deemed it cool and amusable pun-ishment
It must have been the delivery...
Everyone knows the interrupting cow knock knock joke but we like making up KKJs for other cows. Here are some of ours; please add more so I can continue to surprise and delight the young people near and dear to me. TIA!
(Obviously each joke goes "Knock knock" etc. I'll just write the "cow" part and the punchline)
French cow: le moo
Backwards cow: oom
Upside down cow: woo
Sad cow: moo hoo hoo
Ghost cow: moo-oo-oo-oooo
Police cow: moo ee oo ee oo ee oo
Cow on a motorbike: (make zooming moo)
Cow in disguise: Baa
Horse in disguise: Moo
Invisible cow: (quickly cover child's eyes) Moo
I have no words to describe how angry I am.
A fun guy.
I asked if it would be ok if they gathered their swords instead. She was not amused.
I guess it was the delivery!
So I started doing my best human beatbox impersonation.
"Yo! Yo! Presents in da hizzzzzzz!"
She wasn't as amused as I was.
Must have been the delivery.
It must have been the delivery…
What do you call a stone with eyes?
You are tasked with making an advertisement for an amusement park, however you want to make it to STOP people from coming to the carnival... I'm curious to see your advertisements, also try to keep the jokes under 50 words.
Identity theft is not a joke.
"Prohibition." She wasn't as amused as I was, I'm afraid.
... but was fired for taking a couple of days off!
Not unknown, but a fave. I also wanted to say I became a certified dad today! I plan on utilizing this sub to torture my new child.
I ask for his name. He says it’s Dasani. I said, ”water you here for?” He didn’t look amused. I said, “hey bud no need to keep your emotions bottled up.”
Recently in my neck of the woods, we have been experiencing a cold snap. This morning, my wife set me up for a zinger.
Wife (dressing our 10 month old daughter): I don't know how to dress her.
Me: Shirt goes on the top half, pants on the bottom half.
Wife: No! I mean for the temperature!
Me: Oh! Honey I don't think the temperature cares what she wears today.
So I work at a pizza shop. This middle aged man, typical dad polo shirt, white New Balances, etc... comes in with his wife. They want subs. So my boss is taking their order. She asks him if he wants any cheese on his sub. He responds "yeah, that religious stuff". My boss looks up at him confused and says, "what?". I immediately jump in and say, "Swiss!" My boss looks even more confused. The guy is smirking and says, "yeah, the holy kind!" His wife lets out the biggest groan as him and I crack up. My boss just shook her head and walked away in disgust.
A Ferrous Wheel.