Did you hear about the new pickletown attraction?

It's a really big dill

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
Bacon isn’t the main attraction

Sausages.

Thought of this at work while I was cooking.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/19you1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
To get a girl, some guys use pick up lines. Others rely on the attraction of their car

So I figure a pick up truck should cover both bases

πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Cemeteries are one of the most popular tourist attractions

People are dying to get into them!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Roxanne_12784
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Experiments show that olfactory perception of pheromones might play a role in romantic attraction...

Love is blind, but it has a great sense of smell.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Roadside Attraction

I laughed my ass off at this roadside protester. He camped out all night hoping to prevent the completion of certain roadways. Well, yesterday, the dumbass died of a heart attack. His doctor warned him weeks ago, but the stupid guy didn't want a bypass.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sprtoad80
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2017
🚨︎ report
Why are women attracted to mummies?

Pharaoh Moans.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Alaska_Engineer
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
My son joined a group of people that are sexually attracted to young horses.

I'm worried he may be in a colt

πŸ‘︎ 120
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JCokeDaKilla
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
🚨︎ report
Wow that pen is so attractive.

Maybe I am pensexual.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ScytheMaster35
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
What do you call an attractive aircraft?

A runway model

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dorky_Doggo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
Hoely Sh*t!
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/seesakogoli
πŸ“…︎ May 30
🚨︎ report
Last night, my girlfriend told me I'm very attractive and she's a lucky lady.

I told her if I'm attractive then she's a moLUCKular lady.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joker0812
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
Dad, who are pansexuals attracted to?

People from all Woks of life, son.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PityNoodz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
Why was Popeye first attracted to Olive Oyl?

He heard she was extra virgin.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Riverrat423
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
🚨︎ report
I walked past this really attractive homeless lady this morning on the way to work. I asked if I could take her home..

She had the biggest smile on her face, until I started walking away with the cardboard box

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Micktheprivz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
Do you know the worst part about hugging the most attractive person I know?

Smacking into the mirror

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/awburrou
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
I told my son if he wanted a job that made women attracted to him that he should become an astronaut.

They get all the tang they want, after all.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/plmcalli
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17
🚨︎ report
Why are Banannas so attractive

Because they are appealing

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlaqSunshyne-
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
🚨︎ report
What do you call a person that’s sexually attracted to trains?

A tramsexual.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jimmythecow
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
What is the best way to attract a farmer's daughter?

A tractor

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VizKaz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
🚨︎ report
Attracting R. Kelly...
πŸ‘︎ 499
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Harqssy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Fire eaters are attracted to their stunts...

... like moUths to a flame.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
🚨︎ report
The most attractive thing about your mom...

Is her gravitational pull

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What did ancient Egyptian kings use to attract females?

Pharaoh moans.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/siphodeus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you make attractive people view your posts?
πŸ‘︎ 270
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrMystery12
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an attractive potato?

A spud

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stiver95
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Despite being an attractive man, my friend is a gardener

So he always has a couple hoes with him

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ledin542
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
You know gaining weight actually makes anything more attractive

Gravitationally attractive that is

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlueRac
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Which kind of dinosaur is attracted to both male and female dinosaurs?

A biceratops

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/budcuddly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My son told me he was attracted to thicc zombies

β€œOh, deadass?” I replied.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/itzspeshhh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I once knew a guy who was sexually attracted to cheese.

Guess you could say he had a fetash

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/__Vode_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Recent studies show Earth’s magnetic field is weakening.

Current events make it less attractive.

All hail The Double Pun. Mic drop

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/holymolybreath
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
What bug is the most attractive?

A centipede! It's got legs for days...

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sundearay
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
If i swallow a magnet will i become attractive?
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/insertnameplspls
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Technically the Arctic is hot if you are attracted to it
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cottoncarl-_-
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do beekeepers have the most attractive eyes?

Because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fayette-Phantom
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm apparently really attractive to retail workers.

The cashiers check me out every time I go shopping!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_otterinabox
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do programmers like dark mode?

Because light attracts bugs

πŸ‘︎ 96
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crocflamingo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
🚨︎ report
Hay bales under a buck
πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HulkHoff
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Very attractive!
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/malteadt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Most of my friends find Princess Leia really attractive, but I don’t get it.

For me, she ticks Alderaan boxes.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an attractive female attorney?

prosecutie

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/warpedddd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Attracting R Kelly...
πŸ‘︎ 262
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Harqssy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Recent evidence shows that Earth’s magnetic field is weakening.

Yes. It’s true. Current events have made it less attractive.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/holymolybreath
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
Is it just me? I find magnets very attractive
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
No matter how attractive you may find him/her, never ask a photographer to step into a dark room and see what develops.

The answer is almost always in the negative. (Yes, it's a bad pun--enough to make you shutter.)

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/C0untdown
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
There were three guys named Jackson who were all in the clothing business.

Due to lack of real estate options in their city, they all set up shop next door to each other. In order to convince customers to come to their store rather than one of the other Jacksons, they all put up signs to attract customers.

The one on the left puts up a sign that says "Jackson's clothing store (Best prices!)"

Not to be outdone, the one on the right puts up a sign that says "Jackson's clothing store (Best quality!)

The one in the middle thinks about it for a while, and eventually puts up a sign of his own.

"Jackson's clothing store (Main entrance).”

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…︎ May 21
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who's only sexually attracted to homeless people?

A Hobosexual

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
🚨︎ report
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive

Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/harvest86
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I came across an attractive man who was taking the skin off of an orange.

I guess you could say that I found him appealing.

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wil
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Shorter people are way more attractive than taller people.

They are just way more down to earth.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/doing-alright
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
How come protons are so attractive?

They stay positive no matter what..

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bondeddd
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend in choir asked how attractive he was.

I told him about a tenor so.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/banksfornades
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m feline strangely attracted.
πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Stoned Nudists
πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MilPens
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
Every single beekeeper has famously attractive eyes

Every single one of them. As the saying goes, "Beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder."

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Complete_Gene
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Fireflies are able to generate a bright light to attract mates...

They have "hi" beams!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive women waving at him

He's taken aback because he can't seem to remember where he knows her from.

So he says, "Do you know me?"

To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind takes him back to the one time that he has ever been unfaithful to his wife.

"My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with a celery?"

She looks into his eyes and says calmly "No, I'm your son's teacher."

πŸ‘︎ 170
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Limsy37
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm strangely attracted to geese. There's just something about them, an x-factor. They have a certain...

je ne sais quack.

πŸ‘︎ 117
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OgreMonk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2017
🚨︎ report
Wow, you must be the most attractive woman in the world...

Gravitationally.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Is it just me that finds magnets attractive?
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cjkdash12
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Why was Batman not attracted to Poison Ivy?

Because of her breasts-in-plants

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Charlemagnalpaca
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2018
🚨︎ report
My teenage son came home upset that his crush is attracted to the new foreign exchange student at school

So I went to the drug store and bought him the best Axe Scent money can buy!

πŸ‘︎ 176
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KingBuck_413
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2018
🚨︎ report
I think this is an attractive piece. I surveyed the field. Some people find it repulsive. It's rather polarizing.
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DINC44
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Magnet schools are an attractive educational option.
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JukeboxSommelier
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
🚨︎ report
I went shopping and saw an attractive woman dressed as Snow White working at one of the stores.

She was the fairest of the mall.

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2018
🚨︎ report
A woman texted her husband, asking him to rate how attractive she is from 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest score...

After reading her husband's short and quick reply, the woman happily called her husband and said, "Aww, you didn't have to send me the heart symbol as a reply to my question. How sweet of you!"

Her husband then said, "What heart symbol? I meant to say that I rate you as less than three!"

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AesSedai99
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call an attractive door that can do anything?

A door able

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MightyOtaku
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2018
🚨︎ report
To attract new visitors, the Museum of Natural History ran a promotion where they gave away actual dinosaur vertebrae from their collection.

Everyone was taken aback.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/this_is_grand
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
🚨︎ report
There’s only one thing that attracts me to politics...

Parties.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dens382
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2018
🚨︎ report
[Request] Puns relating an attractive girl and fireworks

For example, "the fireworks were bangin, but not as bangin as my date"

Thank you! I need as many as possible for a corny caption!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hypern1ke
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2017
🚨︎ report
Why Are All People Attracted To Mountains

Because all objects have a gravitational force including mountains, thus if you are near a mountain you feel a slight attraction to it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GamingAstronamy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine confessed that he is sexually attracted to almond trees.

I said, β€œAre you f*cking nuts?”

πŸ‘︎ 82
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2018
🚨︎ report
I knew a girl who was attracted to farming equipment

She was a real hoe for them

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Suhspence
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I want to date an very attractive woman who lives four miles away.

I guess she's out of my league.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sw337
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2017
🚨︎ report
Why is deadmau5 an attractive guy?

Well for starters he’s an electro magnate

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ingrahamlincoln
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
🚨︎ report
I swear she's attracted to arachnids

I spider kissing one

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FaTb0i8u
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
🚨︎ report
My doctor is a very attractive woman

During my last appointment she said, "I'm sorry but you have to stop masturbating."

I asked "why?"

She replied, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Krombopulos137
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2018
🚨︎ report
The lion is the most popular animal at the zoo

It’s the mane attraction

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jeffs3695
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
Why did the priest run away from the group of attractive woman?

Because he was being chaste.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YouHadItComing
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2018
🚨︎ report
What's the search engine of choice for finding pictures of attractive people to stare at?

Go ogle

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/borgenhaust
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Need some puns

So a health expo is coming up for my university and I am part of the nephrology stall. We need a good slogan and some cool puns to attract people. All ideas are welcome. Thanks!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ayeshaaa98
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report
If protons and neutrons had sexual life, what would their most common saying be?

Spark me daddy

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kajinator
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Gotta attract the customers
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dharmabummin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Why was the plumber so attracted to the opera singer?

She had a beautiful set of pipes.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HusbandAndWifi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
🚨︎ report
A super attractive doctor

Told a patient, "You're going to die, give up, there's nothing we can do"

It was a super-callous-fatalistic-sexy-diagnosis

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Guancho_T_Iguana
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm attracted to zeroes.

They're noughty.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PicturElements
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.