Why do you never see people running in Jeans alone?

Because Jeans run in a family

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Br4ve_He4rt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
This happened a while back, I was dropping my 7 year old school son to school. β€œSon, hurry up, we’re running late.”

Son: β€œno dad, we’re walking late.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Monkey-Magic007
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Is your refrigerator running?

I was hoping to vote for it.

πŸ‘︎ 136
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CurtP31477
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What did one memory buffer say to the other memory buffer as it was running away...

.... cache me if you can.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hasntbeenmydecade
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
I told the cop, β€œYou can’t give me a ticket. I’m running a marathon tomorrow.”

The cop said, β€œSir, that’s not how you play the race card.”

πŸ‘︎ 198
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the virgin always running?

Because she was being chaste!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the man say to the judge after running over chickens at a playground?

β€œIn my defense, Your Honor, there were no signs of fowl play”

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dingdongdan69
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Advertisers for cream cheese are running schmear campaigns...

...and they should all be lox'd up for their capers.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ceelogreenicanth
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a running turkey?

Fast food!

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kgangadhar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s crazy, all these people running these virtual races, starting all over the place.

Where do we draw the line?

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gooeygargoyle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Stores are running out of toilet paper again.

They’re wiped out.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Entree_The_Giant
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between Gordon Ramsay's favorite dish and a slow-running computer?

One is a rack of lamb, the other is a lack of RAM.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Is your nose running?

If so, I might vote for it.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/onetwopi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Hey, is your refrigerator running?

Good. I'd vote for it over Trump or Biden any day.

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the herb farmer say when he was running behind schedule?

We’re in a thyme crunch

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSquirrelyOne_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Just happened. My kids are running around blowing a party noise marker. My wife's sister says " it sounds like an elephant in there"

I look up, straight faced, and calmly reply, "yeah, we don't talk about that.."

My wife buried her face for a good minute.. I'm proud of that one.

EDIT: I showed my wife how many ppl thought this was funny and she told me to say "please don't encourage him" .. :)

πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/trich101
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Is your refrigeator running?

Then you better catch it if you want your dinner!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I just saw 10 ants frantically running around my kitchen. I felt bad so I built them a small house.

Now I’m their landlord and I collect rent from my tenants.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bovinejabronie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Is your computer running? Then you'd better catch it!
πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Classic_Result
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why aren’t there any running jokes about snakes?

Maybe because it doesn’t have legs.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gone__boi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I am trying to get in shape by running on my treadmill every morning

But I dont feel like I'm getting anywhere

πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thesaurususaurus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Is your refrigerator running?

Because at this point I’d vote for anyone other than who currently is...

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KawhiTheKing
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My bird nosedived straight into a running blender this morning...

All that’s left is shredded tweet.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Guy gets pulled over for running a stop sign. He says to the cop β€œgive me a break man, I slowed down.” The cop starts beating on the guy and says...

β€œSo... do you want me to slow down or do you want me to stop?”

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CaymanRich
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why were the noodle strands running around?

They were looking for the impasta

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/abhilashmurthy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the cheetah say when the gazelle started running away?

I’ve been spotted!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CaymanRich
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
🚨︎ report
If Time is Running Out for a Chinese App

Is the clock TikToking?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gr8ums
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Don't Stand in front of a running car!

You'll get Tired!

Don't stand behind them either!

You'll get exhausted!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
There’s a running joke around this town...

Hopefully someone catches it.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Jedi get injured while running?

Luke warmed up.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shouldExist
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
A woman driving a minivan with 7 hyperactive kids gets pulled over for running a red light. The cop says β€œDon’t you know when to stop?” The woman says...

They’re not all mine.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CaymanRich
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does the minute hate running marathons?

No matter how fast it runs, it's always 60 second...

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pokefan713
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the tomato say when running late

Ketchup with you later

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Our local cult just started praying for a reservoir to be created on the river running through their compound

God Damnit

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lukeurmyson
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Two spines are running up the hill as a hedgehog passes by them

Then one spine turns and says to the other β€œwe missed the bus!!”

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nikoklis
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Look, he’s sleep running!

Man, he sure is fast asleep.

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SplatCactus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a painter who loves running through the grass?

Jackson Frolic

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/propervernacular
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A square ran into a dead end while running away from hundred of circles

He was cornered

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zero_the_Red
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you call a runner when he is running from a cannibal?

Fast Food

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/69-nice420
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Is your refrigerator running?

Because at this point, it’s got my vote.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sisrael81
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.