When I pulled up to the hardware store I saw a guy running away with a wooden panel. I got out the car and as i got closer to the store i saw two more guys running away with concrete posts. I said to my wife...
..."ugh! People are so quick to take a fence these days"
What did one memory buffer say to the other memory buffer as it was running away...
.... cache me if you can.
What did the cheetah say when the gazelle started running away?
A square ran into a dead end while running away from hundred of circles
What did the cowboy tell the guy who was running away?
When Captain Hook was running away from the ticking alligator..
It must have been very time consuming!
I was running away from the police and they took out their tasers.
Running away from human contact.
What do you say to a Chinese llama that keeps running away?
What do you call 100 rabbits running away in single file?
I figured out why my dog keeps running away.
Little kid named Chase was running around away from his mom at my daughter's dance today.
I told the mother she should have named him Doctor or Lawyer.
What do you call a budhist running away from battle?
I once fell in love with a melon farmer’s daughter. But when I asked if she wanted to run away and get married in secret, she turned me down.
She told me she cantaloupe.
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage
Why did the little boy run away when making a cake? Because it said crack 2 eggs, then beat it.
Cake joke for my cake day!
Why did the skeleton run away from home?
Because he had no body!
Tomorrow is joke day at school for my kindergartner so I went to tell my daughter a joke to tell. Tells me she already had one and tells me this! Lol proud dad..
Why did the art thief’s van run out of gas as he drove away from the museum?
Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh
Why did the melons run away and get married instead of have a big church wedding like their parents wanted?
Because they could elope.
I’m reading a book about these two melons that have a forbidden love. They’ve tried to run away together many times, but are caught every time.
It seems that no matter how hard they try, they just can’t-elope
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
If you see a man-eating cucumber, run away!
If you stick around, you could end up in a pickle.
SLPT: If your priest or bishop is molesting your children, tell them to run away in a straight line as priests and bishops can only move diagonally.
/r/ShittyLifeProTips/comm…
How you make samurai run away?
What do you call a bull that runs away?
Why do people run away from you if you have a knife but charge at you if you have a gun?
There is an extra charge for owning guns.
Why did the cat run away from the tree?
Why do ducks in a lake always fly away when you run up to them?
What game makes German hipsters run away from you?
A couple of fruits were talking, one said “Let’s run away and get married!” The other said “I’m sorry...”
Why was Cinderella kicked off the soccer team?
She kept running away from the ball
Why couldn’t the muskmelon run away with the watermelon and get married?
Her parents said she cantaloupe.
What do you get when two ants run away together?
Why did the kids run away from the guy fencing off alleyways?
I have this recurring dream that E.T. tackles me, puts grey tape on my belly, and runs away.
I keep getting ab-duct-taped by aliens.
I was going to run away and get married but my mom said I
My deaf husband has run away with my deaf friend
It was a terrible shock; but really, I should've seen the signs
My cat got sick, so I had to give it some pills. To make my life easier, I wrapped it up in ham.
When it couldn’t run away I could jam the pills in no problem.
My wife said, "If one day you want to run away, just let me know."
Turns out she meant together.
What did the cookie say to the browser while running away?
What type of fruit can’t run away and get married?
What did the mother melon say to her daughter when she wanted to run away to get married?
Why can’t melons run away & get married?
Because they cantaloupe...
Why couldn't the melon run away and get married?
Why won't the melons run away together?
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