You just have to listen varicosely.
Sounds easy, but the process is painstaking .
Yep, my belly dunlaps over my belt.
I mean, I did not pay for ground beef.
So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."
Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"
"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."
The man can't believe it.
"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"
Naturally, they're both shocked.
"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."
Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."
They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.
"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"
The man puts down his fruit and responds,
"It's a date!"
It strained my voice
Windows!
Its called a door.
Not sure what to do in the Mean Time.
Your buttcheeks
We were diagnosed with carpool tunnel syndrome
I hate my job as a plumber.
I herd it through the grapevine.
Minnow pause?
A reboot.
I can’t imagine what was going through his mind at the time.
I don't think I can ever repay you.
He said,” All I felt was pane.”
The police aren’t helping because there isn’t enough concrete evidence.
Can't wait to see their faces when they realize they have a puppy.
I just don't know how I could ever repay them!
It was my first time seeing an ant elope.
Now I have to keep looking over my shoulder.
It's a minute tour.
...you have to stop and ask yourself what you’re wading for...
Now its a trans-script
It was a poutine traffic stop.
I told him they look oak-eh.
After all, it’s twenty twenty too
I guess we can finally say 2020 won :/
Happy new year people!!
They swing with alot of Force.
That'd be a different story all together.
I told him he was in deNile.
I just worry because I know it’s illegal to launder money.
Everything happens for a raisin.
One balloon to the other : watch out, there’s a cactussssss
I have been informed he was a-salted.
Its ass.
Carpool Tunnel
It's enough to make a mango crazy!
He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.
He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.
When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yoda’s garden.
“Something I have for this.” Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.
Yoda and Luke return to Yoda’s home, where Yoda looks through his bag. He’s used all his forks but one, he discovers.
“That’s ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. “I’ll write us a note reminding us to buy more.”
So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.
He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.
“Master Yoda!” he asks. “What did I do wrong?”
Yoda replies sagely, “A Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a tack!”
Others might call it reWARDing.
I know. I’m sorry.
It's called, "Prose and Cons".
***Pew***berty, in other words.
