My 8 year old finished eating dinner

8yo: "There, I ate!"

Me [points at 9yo]: "Good job! She nine."

8yo: πŸ€”?

9yo: "Ugh. Because I'm nine and you're eight. You ate. I nine?"

8yo: "Daaaad!"

πŸ‘︎ 496
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chaosTechnician
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Finished season 5 and now I’m sad
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/damn_you_leto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
My roomba went out my front door and a pack of bears attacked it, an eagle carried it away to the ocean, and a shark finished it off.

Nature abhors a vacuum.

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dingogordy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
I've just finished writing a book about using stairs...

It's a step by step guide.

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
I once finished runner-up in a Fidel Castro look-a-like contest.

Close, but no cigar.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TehIrishSoap
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
🚨︎ report
I've just finished watching a documentary about beavers...

Best dam show I've ever seen.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I just finished Grosse Pointe Blank and now I’m putting on Good Will Hunting.

It’s a Minnie marathon.

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard that the jalapeΓ±o finally finished school.

He is now known as Dr. Pepper

πŸ‘︎ 202
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fanoran
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Just finished reading a book on Channel swimming.

It was written by Francis Near.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Just finished watching a documentary on how Kool-Aid was made

It was stirring

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/martianrome
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I just finished making a short film in Russia about Vin Diesel’s body double.

It’s considered a Vin nyet.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theeclat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Waitress: "Are you finished sir?"

Dad: "No, I'm actually Norwegian. So close though, you're pretty good at that!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChetRipley
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
my five year old just told me that he wasn't finished his yawn...

... i told him his yawn was expired.

(sadly, he didn't get it)

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fisherkingpoet
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A piece I just finished working on, hope you all like it :)
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cupcake_serenity
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife just finished her 40 week body building program.

She lost 8 pounds and 1 oz, and gained a new family member!

I'm officially a father and step father! Woohoo!

πŸ‘︎ 161
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InsaneVanity
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Just finished resding a great book called "Arguement On The Narrow Boat"

By R.G.Bargee.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Just finished making my first bookcase

I’m very proud of myshelf

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ng_Ago
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
After many years of procrastination I have finally finished my book on common herbs...

It's about thyme.

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sludgemonkey01
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Knot finished with this format yet
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Extrahub
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Just wanted to share my success! I finished this puzzle I’ve been working on this morning..

It said 2-4 years, but I completed it in 3 months!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FilthyMcNasty412
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m drawing a picture of a zoo animal, but I’m not finished yet.

It’s just a rough giraffe.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Finally finished my book about clocks and what we use them for

It’s about time

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/skisokay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
How does every joke start after you've finished doing the dishes?

looks over both shoulders

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LinkedAg
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Imagine how tired Michelangelo was by the time he had finished painting..

..the sixteenth Chapel

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I finished writing my tortilla joke

That's a wrap

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/banks987
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
The waiter approached me as I finished eating and asked, β€œyou wanna box for those leftovers?”

I replied, β€œNo, I hate violence. May I just pay for it with my card?”

πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/absolriven
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I just finished grilling a steak.

It refuses to tell me who it’s working for.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the chair say after it finished travelling around the world?

I went sofa away.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tyckt206
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I just finished watching a movie about graphs, but it was really disappointing.

The plot was predictable. The special f(x) was terrible.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
A gardener said, "I just finished producing some beets, who wants to check them out?"

The cabin replied, "I only play house music." The windmill said, "not me, I'm a heavy metal fan." The backhoe said, "I just dig rock." The plastic baggie said, "I do, I'm a wrapper!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lela_chan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Just finished playing billiards with my buddy in the Middle East when I decided to play a prank on him.

β€œIraq”, I said. Then Iran.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bigdickkief
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I just finished a documentary about frogs

It was absolutely ribbiting

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-bonas-
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
God finished creating the 24-hour cycle on Earth...

...with both darkness and light taking turns. He admired his hard work with a smile and a sigh. An angel asked him β€œWhat’s wrong, Lord?” God replied β€œI think I’m gonna call it a day.”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Beard_on
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I've just finished a really good book entitled 'Acted' - I don't really understand the relevance of the title, but the book is about censorship. Anyway, I think everyone should

[Redacted]

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/staffell
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Australian chess player say after he finished his meal?

"Can I have the check, mate?"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Desunator
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
After 10 years of writing, I finally finished my novel, Chronology.

It's about time.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HeyWhatsItToYa
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Just finished reading a book about how to make clothes quickly...

It was Sew-Sew!!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johiam21
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I'd just finished building a beautiful house of cards when my wife walked in and destroyed it

It was a massive blow

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/soody765
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I just finished writing a book on penguins

Now that I think about it, it would’ve been easier if I just wrote in on paper

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/L3broncos
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a finished puzzle of bacon and pancakes?

A complete breakfast

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Demencia_Stan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Einstein finally finished his space theory

It's about time.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I ordered an egg dish at a restaurant. When I finished, I asked the waiter for another one and he said...

"No, sir, that's un oeuf."

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheChronologer1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
At the restaurant, my family was nearly finished eating and I still had half a plate of food left. The waitress asked, "Do you wanna box for that?"

I replied, "No thanks, I'd rather wrestle for it!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I just finished the book, "How to Become Homeless"...

It's such a bummer.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Finally finished my huge book on the history of clocks.

It's about time.

πŸ‘︎ 89
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Australian grandmaster say when he finished his meal?

Check, mate

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arebee936
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I finally finished my book on herbs.

Some might say it’s about thyme.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Grimstache
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report

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