A marathon runner walks into a bar and the barman says
Did you hear about the runner who was criticized?
He just took it in stride
Why did the scandinavian runner leave the race early?
True Story. I went to pick up a couple of Italian Beef sandwiches curbside last night and as the runner approached with my order, the sandwiches broke through the gravy soaked paper bag and fell to the ground. She was extremely apologetic and said she would re-bag them for us. But I was livid!
I mean, I did not pay for ground beef.
I once finished runner-up in a Fidel Castro look-a-like contest.
Why did the distance runner buy a new pair of shoes?
It would be helpful in the long run.
What do 100m runners eat before a race?
Why is Jesus a good runner
How do you call a runner when he is running from a cannibal?
Marathon runners with bad footwear
suffer the agony of defeat.
Due to covid-19, finland closed its borders to international marathon runners.
The racers ran anyways but unfortunately no one crossed the finnish line
How did the speed runner beat the world record on hair stylist simulator?
"What can you offer this restaraunt as the new food runner?"
"Well, I bring a lot to the table for starters.
Did you know Joseph Stalin was a fast runner?
That guy was a Soviet Rusha.
What do you call a Mexican long distance runner?
Competitive runners are just racists.
Well, you have to hand it to relay runners, don't you?
What kind of underwear do long-distance runners wear?
My dad recieved a phone call from the magazine "Runner's World"
women on the phone asks:
- "is (mother) home?"
- dad: "no, she just ran off"
- women: "oh, ok"
I dont think she got it.
edit: This is actually funnier how he said it in dutch (our native language). his words were "ze heeft ze benen genomen" which literally means " she has taken the legs".
Did you hear about the injured runner who got last place in the competition?
I guess he was a sore loser.
What do you call a runner that sheds their skin?
My mum was a 100M runner and my dad was a marathon runner.
Sadly, no one approved of their relationship.
In the old days no one like mixed race marriages.
Why are Catholics the best runners during the Easter season?
Nearing the finish line, a marathon runner was so driven to win, that even when he pooped his pants, he continued on. When asked what he felt at that crucial moment, he replied...
"Undeterred"
/
"Undie turd"
How many issues do runners have?
What happened to the runner who had his feet reattached?
Away must be a really slow runner.
'Cause everybody in history has passed him.
The baseball commissioner's new rule on runners attempting to steal second seems wrong
What underwears do fast runners use?
Track runners are my inspiration
Because they get over every hurdle in their way
What do a backcountry hunter and a high school 100m runner have in common?
One goes to track meat, and the other goes to a track meet.
What do you call the runners up award at an astronomy competition?
The sexiest people tend to be runners.
In fact, they're quite attracktive.
At work in a restaurant, the food runner dropped a to-go container for an order
So I said "You butternut squash it!"
And they still wouldn't send me home
[daily jumble] After his heart surgery, the marathon runner was happy to once again be a...
I said to my father, "these runner's lights...
are certainly a flashin statement."
What's a runners favorite class in school
What do cross-country runners eat before a big race?
What do runners eat the day before a race?
What should runners eat before a race?
Did you hear about the runner who was criticized?
He just took it in stride
Did you hear about the runner who was criticized?
He just took it in stride
Did you hear about the runner who was criticized?
He just took it in stride
What kind of underwear do long distance runners wear?
A runner had to pick up the pace
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