My career as a street fighter didn't last very long.
I broke my hand punching a curb.
I’m saving money for bushes to plant around the yard when my career is over...
It’s my retirement hedge fund.
I was figuring out what career path I should take.
Geology rocks, geography is where it’s at. But ultimately, making mirrors is what I really see myself doing.
Why did the meat cutter decide against a career in stand-up comedy?
He was afraid he would butcher all the jokes.
I've decided to switch careers to study modern female rappers.
I think my parents will be so proud when they learn I'm a Cardi-B-ologist.
What do you call a chemist who quits his career to become a tailor?
Before his music career took off, Daryl Hall worked as a trucker for Quaker.
I've made up my mind. I'm choosing a career path as an electrician.
I just found out you get to work with dikes and strippers.
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
I am thinking of pursuing a career in crowd estimation.
I wonder how many people are in that field.
Nat King Cole used to write songs about his career as a mathematician
"Chestnuts roasting on an open Fourier"
i have just been swooned by a man only to discover he’s a career criminal
i guess you could say i felon love
No matter how bad his career gets, why will you not see Rick Astley waiting tables?
Because he'll never run around and dessert you.
Since his political career is almost over the US vice president is starting his own soda company.
It's called Pence-a-cola.
I want to start a career as a counterfeit poetry books salesman, but I'm still undecided.
There's lots of prose and cons.
My girlfriend wants me to choose between her and my career as a reporter.
I have some breaking news for her.
Why did the seafood-themed jazz musician's career tank?
My career counsellor keeps encouraging me to drop out.
Thanks to her, I’m graduating from Sky diving school.
I surprised my family today by changing careers to become a mirror cleaner.
It was something I could always see myself doing.
I will never have the audacity to choose a career path for my children
It's their responsibility to choose which Medical School they'll graduate from
Why did the obstetrician pursue a career in standup?
Because he was so good at deliveries
His career was washed away
I recently pursued my dream career of becoming a very successful plagiarizer.
I tried, but I didn't make it.
Arrgh, I finally figured out why I haven't been successful in my pirate career, it's all because of my spine...
...it's always been holding me back.
Last year, my friend told me he’s quitting his job to pursue a miming career.
I haven’t heard from him since.
Do you know why Annie Oakley's career was so brief?
Because she was a shooting star.
Decided on a career change, from the kitchen to medicine. Didn’t last long though.
Turns out that thyme doesn’t heal all wounds.
I once tried to start a comedy career by telling jokes about my days as a pilot.
Sadly, I could never get my jokes to land, and just kept crashing and burning on stage.
My son told me that he is pursuing dentistry as a career
I told him, "But son, that career path will take you years!"
"First you have to take dentist 1, then dentist 2, all before you get to dentist 3!"
My wife said that I won’t advance in my career because I procrastinate too much.
I said, “Oh yeah? Just you wait.”
My uncle worked for a newspaper's crossword puzzle team, but only contributed one awesome clue in his career...
He was a one-hint wonder!
[At the therapist] Hulk Hogan: I struggled through a lot of mental issues during my career.
Therapist: So you could say.. you had to wrestle mania?
Wendy Williams' career must be playing Oregon Trail...
Because it's about to die from dissin' Terry.
Everyone has been asking me about my plan to continue my career as a juggler when the quarantine ends, but I’m not sure yet...
everything is still up in the air.
What’s the highest point in a geologist’s career?
When they hit rock bottom.
My parents strongly discouraged me to pursue a career in archaeology
They said there is no future in it.
A vampire was giving a presentation at a career fair.
The vampire, being hundreds of years old, had decided to conduct an experiment to see which career path was the most rewarding. He had every degree and certification you could imagine, but he settled on a surprising choice: cleaning mirrors.
When questioned, he said, "There's something about cleaning a mirror that just speaks to me. Not only can you see your progress as you go, I just know I'm helping someone see their true selves, for better or worse. I'm as surprised as you are, it's not a job I could ever see myself doing."
When Gordon Sumner left the police to start a solo career
It became a Sting operation
My dog would like to hit pause on his music career.
That means he would like to continue with it.
I recently retired from my job as a lumberjack. Over my career I cut down 6, 324 trees...
I have had a very stop-start career...
Much like any other bus driver.
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
My girlfriend gave me an ultimatum: I have to choose between her and my career as a news reporter.
I have some breaking news for her.
My wife wants me to choose between her and my career as a reporter.
I have some breaking news for her.
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
My wife told me that I had to choose between our relationship and my career as a reporter.
I have got some news for her.
My girlfriend wants me to choose between her and my career as a reporter.
I have some breaking news for her.
My girlfriend wants me to choose between her and my career as a TV journalist.
I have some breaking news for her.
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