Scientists have discovered another deadly pathogen they are calling the 'Peekaboo' virus.
Doctor's are sending anyone with Peekaboo, straight to ICU.
I was thinking about opening a donut shop next to a marijuana shop and calling it....
Did you hear about the new high school math competition they're calling "extreme "fractioning"?
My youngest daughter was diagnosed with scoliosis when she was 5. That’s the same time we began calling her by her middle name, Sarah.
Her first name is Eileen.
My dad kept calling referring to this mason jar as his “boom box”.
When I asked him why, he responded “I use it for all my jams!”
I’m not calling your mother a thief but...
Heard they are calling that Johnson and Johnson vaccine “8 mile”
Because you only get one shot.
Pork factories keep calling me and I keep hanging up on them.
STOP 👏 calling yourself a communist if you aren't Russian!
It's Karltural appropriation
I tried calling the tinnitus help line.
There was no answer, it just kept ringing.
I am sick and tired of people calling me lazy, so I'm going to kill myself.
But, the gun is all the way over there.
I think we made a mistake when we started calling childbirth “delivery”.
It should have been called takeout instead.
What did they start calling Postman Pat once he retired?
I’m going to stop calling them “pencil sharpeners”
And start calling them “pencil shorteners”. We’ll see how long my family can take it
The furniture store keeps calling me.
But I only wanted one nightstand
They really missed out on a great opportunity by calling them defibrillators
Should've called them heartbrakers
This furniture store won’t stop calling me...
I don’t know why. I said I only wanted one night stand.
Due to my flatulent habits my daughters have started calling me "Farther"
They didn't like it when I retaliated with...
"Daughturds"
I called to speak to my doctor and the receptionist asked "May I ask who's calling?"
I replied "Yes you may, go right ahead and ask"
Why are we calling her Barbie...
When we can call her chick-ken?
I’m calling next year 2020 lost...
I refuse to say 2020 won!
Stop calling it dressing, you don’t wear it. It’s stuffing.
Because you’re stuffing your face with it since you know you won’t see it again until next Thanksgiving.
Someone complimented me today by calling me a windmill
Honestly I'm not a big fan of that
Siri kept calling me Shirley this morning. I was starting to get really pissed off, and then I realized why...
I left my phone in Airplane mode
The German government is calling for everybody to stock up on sausage and cheese in case of a second lockdown.
It's the Wurst-käse-scenario
I used to get told off about calling people out
Now I just use their names.
Stop calling me orange! Impeach!
I angered two people today by calling them hipsters...
Apparently, the correct term is conjoined twins...
I've started calling my daughter Joseph
Because every nite at bed time she's Stalin.
My wife keeps calling me a simple machine.
There was a 6 fingered man that everyone kept calling Tommy. Why?
Getting quite tired of my friends calling me a pathological liar
Being the head of the NSA during the week and captaining the International Space Station on the weekends can be very exhausting
It always sounds like my Italian neighbor is calling my doorbell cute.
He insist it is adoorabell.
Well I'm not calling you a truther
I don't really understand the game of starting out calling plays for T-ball games then advancing to calling plays in the World Series...
The whole idea of Forge of Umpires confuses me.
My dad just got a bidet and said he’s calling it The Enterprise
because it goes around Uranus killing Klingons
"hello, thank you for calling Hannibal's..."
"The crow seemed to be calling his name", thought Kaw
A furniture store keeps calling me.
All i wanted was one night stand.
My local furniture store keeps calling me but...
All I wanted was one night stand
A furniture store keeps calling me..
All I wanted was one night stand.
A girl at the furniture store keeps calling me.
All I wanted was one night stand
A furniture store keeps calling me...
All I wanted was one night stand.
A furniture store keeps calling me
All i wanted is a one night stand
My phone kept calling me Shirley this morning
I had forgotten to take it off of airplane mode.
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