What do u call an angle that was beaten up?
A rectangle
What do you call 2 guys tied up and stuck in a window?
Kurt and Rod
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
what do you call a tree that will never give you up, never let you down, never gonna run around and desert you?
rick ash-tree
What do you call a woman that would rather stare at her phone than look up at the Northern lights?
Aurora Borealis
What do you call an alligator that always tries to stir up trouble
An Instigator
What do you call a waterfall that goes up instead of down ?
Viagra falls.
What do you call a duck that won’t shut up?
A quack addict.
What do you call a bee dressed up as a ghost?
Steven, he works in Accounting.
We have a joke calendar and we missed this week, my wife was having me guess the answers and we ended up accidentally creating this gem: what do you call a cow that was just born?
A mooborn!
What do you call a baguette up your butt
A pain in the ass
If you get a call from a canned meat company, hang up immediately...
It's a Spam.
What do you call an Irishman trying to break up a fight?
Liam Malone
What do you call it when people in Russia are split up?
Sergei-gation.
What do you call a horse that’s up to no good?
a neigh’r do well
What do you call a chord that has its third moved up a half-step?
A little sus
What do you call someone who can conjure up compressed files?
A source-a-rar.
What do you call a boxer that got beat up?
A sore loser
What do you call a man who was force fed chocolate and peanut butter then chopped up?
Reese’s Pieces
What do you call a bee who can’t make up his mind?
A maybe.
Rick Astley rents the movie Up from the rental store, 3 weeks later he gets a call from the rental store employees saying that his rental is 3 weeks overdue, what does Rick Astley say?
Never gonna give you Up!
My step-dad came up with this so hope it counts. What do you call a gay farmer?
A jolly rancher
What do you call rednecks up north?
Chillbillies
What do you call the guys who sweep up after a wedding?
The Broomsmen
A total dad joke I made up last night- What do you call an avocado that's giving you the silent treatment?
An Incommunicado
Eh?!
What does a baker call bread that shows up unexpectedly?
An interloafer.
What do you call a woman who loves to cook up trouble?
Miss-chef
Added Never Gonna Give You Up to my Spotify playlist and put it on shuffle. I call it, "Rick Roulette"
What do you call a candle made up of the melted remains of other candles?
Frankincense
What do you call an antelope that never gives up?
A cantaloupe.
I hired a contractor to put up a fence, but he never returned my calls.
I figured he was stone-walling me.
What do you call a narcoleptic male cow who likes to smash things up?
A bull dozer.
What do you call chopped up monkey parts?
Rhesus pieces.
What do you call it when you wake someone up from cryogenic sleep?
Cracking open a cold one
What do you call when cute girls line up for a feast?
Barbie queue
What do you call a nordic person who never shows up on time?
A frosted flake
What do you call it when the grocer fails to clean up a mess in the store?
A wrecked aisle dysfunction.
What do you call a dinosaur that blows up?
A TNT-Rex
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
What do you call an Irishman trying to break up a fight?
Liam Malone
What do you call a bee trying to make up its mind?
A maybe
What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
