Scientists have discovered another deadly pathogen they are calling the 'Peekaboo' virus.
Doctor's are sending anyone with Peekaboo, straight to ICU.
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︎ May 10 2021
Did you hear about the new high school math competition they're calling "extreme "fractioning"?
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︎ May 21 2021
My youngest daughter was diagnosed with scoliosis when she was 5. Thatβs the same time we began calling her by her middle name, Sarah.
Her first name is Eileen.
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︎ Apr 07 2021
I tried calling the tinnitus help line.
There was no answer, it just kept ringing.
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︎ Feb 09 2021
The furniture store keeps calling me.
But I only wanted one nightstand
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︎ Jan 02 2021
I called to speak to my doctor and the receptionist asked "May I ask who's calling?"
I replied "Yes you may, go right ahead and ask"
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︎ Jan 20 2021
The German government is calling for everybody to stock up on sausage and cheese in case of a second lockdown.
It's the Wurst-kΓ€se-scenario
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︎ Oct 16 2020
I don't really understand the game of starting out calling plays for T-ball games then advancing to calling plays in the World Series...
The whole idea of Forge of Umpires confuses me.
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︎ Jul 22 2020
My dad just got a bidet and said heβs calling it The Enterprise
because it goes around Uranus killing Klingons
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︎ Mar 11 2020
"The crow seemed to be calling his name", thought Kaw
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︎ Nov 10 2019
Iβm writing a musical work based on Timon and Pumbaa from the Lion King. Iβm calling it the Hakuna Cantata.
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︎ Dec 17 2019
Danger, Fear, and Panic came knocking at my door. It'd been ten years since the last visit, and all holding clipboards, were ready to begin the inquisition. Nervously, I opened the door and prepared myself to answer their calling.
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︎ Mar 05 2020
An old doodle I found on my phone! βPot calling the kettle blackβ
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︎ Jul 23 2019
There's this guy who's been staying in one spot at the park for days without sitting or laying. People are calling him super amazing. I personally just think..
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︎ Sep 13 2019
I hear that Audi is going to rename their pickups for the US market by calling it the Audi Pardner.
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︎ Oct 07 2019
Thanks for calling the predatory animal lifting agency. Weβll be with you in a minute...
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︎ Apr 18 2019
I almost answered the phone when my talkative German brother-in-law was calling me, but thankfully I recognized the number.
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︎ Jun 30 2019
Oh baby I hear the blues are calling...
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︎ Feb 09 2018
My Life has been nothing but a disappointment. The Last 5 Years looked promising, but no such luck. After trying My Best, I've decided if One More Thing upsets me again, I'm calling it Quits.
Hmm, maybe I should start giving my race horses normal names.
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︎ Jan 05 2019
Wife was in the hospital and the nurse said she was calling the doctor to put in an IV
When he showed up, I said to him "I thought there'd be four of you". Got an eye roll and a kick for that one.
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︎ Apr 20 2016
Instead of calling it the John, I call my bathroom the Jim.
That way I can say I go to the Jim every single day.
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︎ Feb 09 2018
I talked my dad into watching a samurai movie by calling it the Japanese equivalent of a Western.
Dad: "So it's an Eastern."
I walked right into that one.
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︎ May 12 2017
In the context of elderly customers calling with questions. A colleague of my said "I hate fucking old customers"
I replied "Then stop it..."
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︎ Oct 27 2017
The Caller Id on the Speakerphone announced who was calling . . .
Phone: "Call from ... Jorge S ... Jorge S ..."
Me: "?Jorge es que?"
Family: (groans)
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︎ Oct 01 2016
Our two year old has started calling the television 'The TB'
My wife: "That's a fair name for it, because it consumes all his attention"
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︎ Jul 12 2016
A heart was taken into custody for murder yesterday. The locals are calling it a cardiac arrest
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︎ Sep 22 2015
So I was monitoring our progress on Google Maps and calling out the distance to the next turn as it changed...
Daughter: "Dad, maybe you don't update our progress every mile?"
Me: "Actually, I'm updating our progress every .1 of a mile. Does that make you tenth?"
Earned me the coveted groan with double eye roll...
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︎ Sep 03 2014
Calling for something at work, I had the option to hear a joke. I gladly accepted.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick.
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︎ May 27 2014
The real reason Microsoft is calling the new operating system Windows 10
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︎ Oct 01 2014
A girl at the furniture store keeps calling me.
All I wanted was one night stand
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︎ May 05 2020
Tried calling the tinnitus helpline...
But it just kept ringing.
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︎ Feb 04 2020
The girl from the furniture store keeps calling me.
All I wanted was one night stand.
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︎ Aug 16 2018
The furniture store keeps calling me.....
I thought I made it clear I only wanted the one night stand
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︎ Dec 25 2018
The furniture store keeps calling me
All I wanted was a one night stand
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︎ Oct 27 2018
The furniture store wonβt stop calling me..
All I wanted was one night stand
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︎ Aug 06 2018
The furniture store kept calling me back...
But I said all I wanted was One Night Stand
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︎ Aug 05 2018
The furniture store keeps calling me back
All I wanted was a one night stand
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︎ Jun 11 2018
The furniture salesman keeps calling me
All I wanted was one night stand
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︎ Apr 20 2018
The furniture store keeps calling me
But all I wanted was one night stand.
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︎ Sep 02 2016
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