I hate train puns.
They eventually run off the rails.
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︎ Oct 29 2020
[request] Train pun for birthday message.
Trying to write a nice birthday message to my grandfather who is turning 80 and loves Trains. Any suggestions?
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︎ Mar 15 2018
Friend and I saw "Snowpiercer" last night. Spent the next hour and a half barraging him with train puns.
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︎ Jul 16 2014
How does a train eat it's dinner?
It chew chews it!?
Credit: My 3 year old, who validated the joke through my 6 year old.
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︎ May 05 2021
Why did the man rob the train?
I'm not sure, but I bet he had a loco motive.
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︎ May 27 2021
How do trains hear?
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︎ Jun 07 2021
Does a train have teeth?
Then how can it choo choo?
Complements of my 6 year old.
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︎ Mar 02 2021
What's the best way to get Pikachu onto a train?
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︎ May 30 2021
I was really embarrassed when my wife caught me playing with my sonβs train set by myself. In a moment of panic, I threw a bedsheet over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
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︎ Mar 28 2021
Where did all the G.I. Joe fighters train?
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︎ May 29 2021
Train derails in New Mexico, killing 23 people
It must have had a locomotive.
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︎ May 06 2021
How does one train hear another train coming?
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︎ May 21 2021
If 1+1=2 and 2+0=2, what does Train+Whistle equal?
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︎ May 21 2021
My boss said to me "You're the worst train driver ever! How many have you derailed this year?!"
I said "I don't know... it's hard to keep track"
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︎ Mar 06 2021
I got fired from my job as a train operator and my job as a lightning rod.
I guess I'm just a bad conductor.
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︎ May 06 2021
There was a murder on a train do you know if the suspect was caught?
No, he covered his tracks.
(Thought of this this morning go easy on me!)
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︎ Mar 25 2021
Did you hear about the new trains drivers first run?
It went off without a hitch
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︎ May 20 2021
Why donβt trees use the train?
They can never find a root.
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︎ May 09 2021
Did you hear about that guy who got run over by a steam train?
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︎ May 16 2021
Why don't trains choke?
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︎ Apr 26 2021
What a train ride of emotions finding a neglected train but also a quality pun
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︎ Mar 19 2021
Driving over a crossing, I told my son a train had just went through
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︎ May 05 2021
Who trains cats?
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︎ May 07 2021
A monkey was sitting on the train tracks waiting for a train.
A monkey was sitting on the train tracks waiting for a train. When a train ran over its tail the monkey said, "It won't be long now!"
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︎ Apr 21 2021
What does the masticating train say?
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︎ Apr 23 2021
What do you call a train made out of bubble gum
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︎ Mar 21 2021
I want to train a dog to make bank deposits
Training them to make withdrawals just seems a bit too far fetched.
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︎ Mar 16 2021
I got into a fight with my Mexican neighbor and he started to make train noises while holding a gun
He said "I'm going to choo choo"
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︎ Feb 25 2021
I think my puppy might be a train...
all she does is chew, chew, chew.
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︎ Feb 23 2021
I'm going to make a website that is just videos and pictures of trains and trolleys.
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︎ Mar 31 2021
A psychotic criminal stole a train. He said the reason was the voices in the head told him to.
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︎ Jan 17 2021
What do you call someone who looks just like you on a passing train?
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︎ Mar 04 2021
How does a train eat human food?
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︎ Mar 14 2021
What did the Muslim train engineer say when his child asked why a creature so perplexing as the platypus would be created?
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︎ Mar 17 2021
I wanted to crack a joke on trains. I could not EXPRESS it well
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︎ Feb 26 2021
The FBI was shocked to uncover the inspirations of the train collecting serial killer.
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︎ Jan 09 2021
A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train-load of terrapins
I thought "That's a turtle disaster".
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︎ Jan 27 2021
Why are trains such good bike riders?
Because of the train wheels!!
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︎ Mar 07 2021
With no buses, trains, or taxis in sight, and my wife going into labor, I figured the only solution was a piggyback.
But she refused to give me one.
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︎ Feb 27 2021
What would you call an electric train in Japan?
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︎ Feb 25 2021
I saw a Russian train
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︎ Jan 31 2021
Did you hear about the man who hid his train set?
He was good a covering his tracks
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︎ Feb 12 2021
The pessimist sees a dark tunnel. The optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel. The realist sees a freight train.
The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.
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︎ Dec 12 2020
It must be really easy being a train engineer
All you have to do is stay on track
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︎ Feb 16 2021
My wife caught me playing with my son's train set. I was so embarrassed, I threw a bedsheet over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
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︎ Apr 29 2021
When my wife found me playing with my sonβs train set, I was so embarrassed that I threw a bedsheet over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
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︎ Jan 17 2021
My boss said to me, βYou are the worst train operator ever. How many trains have you derailed in the past year?β
I said, βIβm not sure. Itβs so hard to keep track.β
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︎ Feb 20 2021
My boss said to me, βYouβre the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?β
I said, βIβm not sure; itβs hard to keep track.β
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︎ Feb 17 2021
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