If the sun over Nessus escapes nebula cycle, evac labor after dawn, under solstice. You got that, P.V.? - Cayde-6

It's on Enceladus?

During the Forsaken Mission Ace in the Hole, our guardian reads Cayde-6's last will and testament through a series of hidden stashes in the Arcology of Titan. Each of these Stashes contained a message for each of Cayde's closest friends in the event of his death, jokingly suspecting each of them to have killed him and leaving a personalized parting message. One of these messages was directed at Petra Venj and contained an encoded message:

>Oh, and, uh, tell "Paladin Oran": If the sun over Nessus escapes nebula cycle, evac labor after dawn, under solstice. You got that, P.V.?

The encoded message is found by simply taking the first letter of every word of the sentence in order:

>I t s o n e n c e l a d u s

or, "It's on Enceladus". For anyone thinking this may have just been sheer coincidence, it should be noted that the awoken would often encode secret messages between their regular sentences by using the first letter of every word, for instance, here's a transmission found on Telesto:

>MESSAGE IS:

1. Contingency reserves overdrawn. We underestimated nobility troth reparations. Uldren suggests that we open reintegration talks. Have you discussed endowment support?
2. If Reef endorses support, Paladin Oran will engineer reinforcement.

>MESSAGE ENDS

The encoded message here is :

>C r o w u n t r u s t w o r t h y d e s i r e s p o w e r

or "Crow untrustworthy, desires power", which was sent before Uldren went completely off the deep end in Forsaken. Another example is the Prodigal Cloak which encoded "Uldren Found" and this encoded message from to cayde from petra herself (under "Paladin Oran) which reads "Fikrul Alive, Distress Call from Illyn". Point is; although Cayde may not have been as eloquent or secretive in his encoding, he knew that the Awoken encode messages in this way and the message for Petra was intentional, important, and confidential, even if it was his dying breath. This threw the Lore community into wild speculations for quite a while, with most theories pointing to the Deep Stone Crypt, which Cayde had previous

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Michael Aaron Kamins joins Jason Reza Jorjani for the SINGLE most sophisticated and comprehensive conversation about Close Encounters EVER. It is also the best overview of his forthcoming book on the UAP PHENOMENA..

Meaning of the Close Encounters

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

They were cooked in Greece.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

A play on words.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

[Removed]

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

Why