I've made up my mind. I'm choosing a career path as an electrician.
I just found out you get to work with dikes and strippers.
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
I am thinking of pursuing a career in crowd estimation.
I wonder how many people are in that field.
No matter how bad his career gets, why will you not see Rick Astley waiting tables?
Because he'll never run around and dessert you.
Guys, I just got a new career offer!
It’s at the spice factory, which is great. The best part about it is that it’s a seasonal job. Heh. Heh.
i have just been swooned by a man only to discover he’s a career criminal
i guess you could say i felon love
I want to start a career as a counterfeit poetry books salesman, but I'm still undecided.
There's lots of prose and cons.
Since his political career is almost over the US vice president is starting his own soda company.
It's called Pence-a-cola.
Why did the seafood-themed jazz musician's career tank?
Why are locksmiths allowed to remain open during lockdown?
My career counsellor keeps encouraging me to drop out.
Thanks to her, I’m graduating from Sky diving school.
My girlfriend gave me an ultimatum: I have to choose between her and my career as a news reporter.
I have some breaking news for her.
I recently pursued my dream career of becoming a very successful plagiarizer.
I tried, but I didn't make it.
I surprised my family today by changing careers to become a mirror cleaner.
It was something I could always see myself doing.
Why did the obstetrician pursue a career in standup?
Because he was so good at deliveries
I will never have the audacity to choose a career path for my children
It's their responsibility to choose which Medical School they'll graduate from
His career was washed away
Arrgh, I finally figured out why I haven't been successful in my pirate career, it's all because of my spine...
...it's always been holding me back.
I got a promotion at the crematorium.
My boss told me I urned it.
Do you know why Annie Oakley's career was so brief?
Because she was a shooting star.
Told my wife I was quitting my job today to become an electrician
Why did The Joker have to sleep with his lights on?
Because he was afraid of the Dark Knight.
—
My 9yr old son just told me this 🤪
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.
Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
I once tried to start a comedy career by telling jokes about my days as a pilot.
Sadly, I could never get my jokes to land, and just kept crashing and burning on stage.
Decided on a career change, from the kitchen to medicine. Didn’t last long though.
Turns out that thyme doesn’t heal all wounds.
My son told me that he is pursuing dentistry as a career
I told him, "But son, that career path will take you years!"
"First you have to take dentist 1, then dentist 2, all before you get to dentist 3!"
More and more people are taking up horse breading as a profession
Apparently it's a very stable career choice.
Last year, my friend told me he’s quitting his job to pursue a miming career.
I haven’t heard from him since.
My father quietly retired from his job as an eye glass manufacturer yesterday.
He didn’t want to make a spectacle.
My uncle worked for a newspaper's crossword puzzle team, but only contributed one awesome clue in his career...
He was a one-hint wonder!
[At the therapist] Hulk Hogan: I struggled through a lot of mental issues during my career.
Therapist: So you could say.. you had to wrestle mania?
Everyone has been asking me about my plan to continue my career as a juggler when the quarantine ends, but I’m not sure yet...
everything is still up in the air.
When Gordon Sumner left the police to start a solo career
It became a Sting operation
What’s the highest point in a geologist’s career?
When they hit rock bottom.
My wife said that I won’t advance in my career because I procrastinate too much.
I said, “Oh yeah? Just you wait.”
A vampire was giving a presentation at a career fair.
The vampire, being hundreds of years old, had decided to conduct an experiment to see which career path was the most rewarding. He had every degree and certification you could imagine, but he settled on a surprising choice: cleaning mirrors.
When questioned, he said, "There's something about cleaning a mirror that just speaks to me. Not only can you see your progress as you go, I just know I'm helping someone see their true selves, for better or worse. I'm as surprised as you are, it's not a job I could ever see myself doing."
My parents strongly discouraged me to pursue a career in archaeology
They said there is no future in it.
I recently retired from my job as a lumberjack. Over my career I cut down 6, 324 trees...
My dog would like to hit pause on his music career.
That means he would like to continue with it.
Why did the archeologist have to get a new job?
Because her career was in ruins!
So today was my barber's last day at the barbershop...
He said it was time to switch careers. But no matter what profession he chose or what career path he took.... he just couldn't cut it.
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
My girlfriend wants me to choose between her and my career as a reporter.
I have some breaking news for her.
My wife wants me to choose between her and my career as a reporter.
I have some breaking news for her.
As I get older and remember all the people I've lost along the way....
I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me.
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
My girlfriend wants me to choose between her and my career as a TV journalist.
I have some breaking news for her.
My wife told me that I had to choose between our relationship and my career as a reporter.
I have got some news for her.
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