WARNING, MAJOR SPOILER !
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︎ Mar 21 2021
My wife tells me I have 2 major faults,
I don't listen - and something else.
π︎ 12k
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︎ Nov 28 2020
The geometry major proved to be an excellent gardener...
...due to his extensive knowledge of tree angles.
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︎ Apr 09 2021
Chewbacca of Star Wars was once a great baseball player in The Major Leagues. . . . . .
Seriously, he won Wookie of the year.
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︎ Mar 26 2021
My wife claims I have 2 major faults
My unwillingness to listen, and, eh, some other thing.
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︎ Feb 18 2021
Joe Biden's dog, Major, was kicked out for biting a staffer. I guess you could say he was...
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︎ Mar 12 2021
You hear about the scarecrow who won a major award?
Apparently, he was out standing in his field.
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︎ Jan 14 2021
Choose a major you love
and you'll never work a day in your life because that field probably isn't hiring
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︎ Dec 29 2020
I asked my dad if I can be a history major,
He said, βDonβt. Thereβs no future in it.β
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︎ Jan 09 2021
They say if you want to be a successful prospector, you shouldn't get a major in geology.
You should get a miner instead.
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︎ Dec 30 2020
A big light switch is a major turn-on
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︎ Dec 12 2020
How do you get an art history major off your front porch ?
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︎ Jan 16 2021
so anyway im switching my major to marketing...
just a few hours ago my brother was talking about buying cinnamon rolls from his english teacher who bakes and sells it on instagram as a side hustle and i said IF SHES AN ENGLISH TEACHER SHE SHOULD CALL THEM SYNONYM ROLLS and honestly im super proud
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︎ Dec 08 2020
I don't think Marine Biology is the right major for me.
My grades are below C-level
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︎ Dec 11 2020
After hearing about my history major, my dad said, βYou should go visit Italy in late August.β
..Then you can witness The Fall of Rome.
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︎ Dec 04 2020
Do math majors get degrees.....
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︎ Nov 13 2020
I almost got a double major in Mathematics and Agriculture
...but I couldn't pass cowculus.
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︎ Oct 05 2020
I hope Elon Musk never gets caught up in a major scandal
I just imagine Elon-Gate would be really drawn out....
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︎ Jun 12 2020
I was thinking of changing my major to Physics
Then I can go ahead and be a physician.
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︎ Nov 06 2020
An e-con major.....
π︎ 36
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︎ Aug 09 2020
Major Spoiler
π︎ 57
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︎ Jul 31 2020
Major Spoiler
π︎ 447
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︎ Feb 11 2020
Today I was playing chess and blundered a major piece
π︎ 4
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︎ Sep 11 2020
My buddy just told me he needs major surgery: he's having half his intestine removed.
(excuse my grammar that should be a semi-colon)
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︎ Jun 06 2020
Did yiu know a major mathematical discovery was made when trying to put music online?
They tries to Log a Rhythm.
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︎ Aug 18 2020
Did you know that, while alive, Mozart composed symphonies in almost every major key?
Sadly, in death, he was relegated only to D-composition.
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︎ Jul 16 2020
My psychiatrist and I had a major breakthrough
Now he can hear the voices too !
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︎ Aug 22 2020
Why donβt calculus majors party?
Because they can not drink and derive
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︎ Jul 18 2020
The culprit is a major D.
π︎ 4k
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︎ Aug 27 2018
I asked my friend who is a major in Geology, what is the most expensive rock in the world?
He replied Dwayne Johnson
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︎ Jun 28 2020
Do you know what is the major reason of dry skin?
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︎ Feb 09 2020
I hope Elon Musk does not get involved in any major scandal.
Because Elon-gate will go on forever.
π︎ 9k
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︎ Feb 14 2018
Why can't math majors party?
Because they can't drink and derive
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︎ Feb 03 2020
I read a report that said 100% of the world's major corporations had unmarried female as CEOs
It was a completely miss-leading report
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︎ Apr 26 2020
Warning: major spoilers ahead!
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︎ Oct 08 2019
I was going to spend Friday night studying stinging polyps that spend major part of their lifetime attached to rocks at the bottom of the sea, but a couple pals wanted me to go bar hopping...
With friends like that, who needs anemones?
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︎ Apr 08 2020
They should have a follow-up to the G-7 meeting called the C Major Summit.
Maybe that will resolve things.
(Not OC but I saw it on FB and it was new to me)
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︎ Aug 29 2019
After the G7 summit, they should follow it up with a C major summit
So things can get resolved
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︎ Aug 29 2019
Did you all hear recently that a major cheese factory exploded in France?
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︎ Sep 20 2019
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
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︎ Nov 04 2019
Did you know a major mathematical discovery was made when trying to put music online?
They tried to Log a Rhythm!
π︎ 3
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︎ Aug 18 2020
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