I didn't know this but the first pun ever was in a fairy tale. A woman living in a tower threw down her hair so her suitor could climb up and she said "Hair you are!". Not the best, but good to know how Rapunzel got her name.
Wow, that blue spider is so beautiful! Itβs Blue-tiful!
Iβm so proud.
I am terrified of words that contain no vowels. I live in consonant fear of them.
My first born is due soon and so to prepare it for life with its father I wanted the first words it hears from me to be a pun. We don't know the sex yet so I need to have a back up plan.
Currently is if is male I am thinking of "It's aboy-t time you showed up". I am fairly happy with this but I am also open to suggestions. I still need either a genderless pun or girl based pun though.
The first round is 90 seconds to come up with as many puns as possible. Second round is teams, round-robin style. Any pro punners out there with tips?
If I get my face tattooed on my body, I'd get AHEAD of myself.
We were in class and my friend saw my eraser on the desk. He then takes out his own eraser.
Friend: Look at your eraser, so dirty and old whereas mine is so clean and pure.
Me: Don't be e-racist
Friend: ...
I was so happy that day.
He wanted kelp flakes on his pasta (don't ask). I said "I don't have the shaker, ask mom to kelp you."
He immediately got a big grin on his face, just as mom rolled her eyes.
Wait. Sorry, wrong sub.
Now heβs a great grandfather
But then I saw her face.
I looked at it and thought, βThis isnβt for me.β
He died of old H.
It was cooked in grease.
You gotta planet
....using a tablet.
Rich exclaimed, "I want lots of money!"
She told me to come back in a month for another shot.
I got him a Budweiser, but he didn't like it. So I drank it. I tried him on Coors and he hated that too. So I drank that too. Same thing with Guiness and Whiskey. I was doubling up on everything and he was happy with Apple juice.
By the time we started on vodkas, I was way too drunk to push his pram home.
The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"
I was so happy for the newlywebs.
βAre you all Wright?!β
I Acts it says they were all in one accord.
The one with the lowest ΞΌ
It was cooked in Greece.
βNo, this is her husbandβ
.. skydiving is not for you
It was an Apple with limited memory; just one byte. Then, everything crashed.
Him: Iβm working on eliminating all Cancers.
Her: Wow! Impressive.
Him: Then Iβm moving on to Capricorns.
His first robotic appendage was defective from the second hand store.
Thought I'd treat myself.
But then it grew on me
..the horse was great, the car was a little buggy.
The crowd was so impressed, they gave me a standing of asian
Itβs very souperficial.
But then I saw her face.
They were cooked in Greece
