We just got a new toaster oven. "The inaugural toast."
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alanjtory
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2013
🚨︎ report
I was asked to deliver the inaugural speech for this health food conference.

Really enjoyed being the quinoa speaker.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shrik
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
🚨︎ report
I was surprised to see The Dude at the Inauguration

But then I realized he was a Biden.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/reading_54321
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Why was Bernie so cold at the inauguration?

Because it was minus 45.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/whiznat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when nobody comes to the inauguration?

An unpresidented situation.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dylancw01
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What does the ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom do when she wants to make a hard copy of the monologue she will deliver at her inauguration?

She prints-a-speech.

πŸ‘︎ 86
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fnnythe3hd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2016
🚨︎ report
I hear Trump's inauguration speech is going to be electrical

It'll generate mega-whats.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/otterland
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2017
🚨︎ report
Someone posted a joke on inauguration day and now I can't stop thinking of Trump puns, so I'll just dump them here.

He probably has quite the hair-care bill, but I'm sure he's willing toupee for it.
It seems that everyone on the internet is Russian to say good things about him.
After his inauguration speech, everyone gave him a big hand.
His favorite winter Olympic event is the LYUUUUGE!
The other half of his supporters can be described with ancient, mystical legends: the Deep Lore-ables.
Nobody will be able to use cheap cotton drapes or table cloths after his ban on muslins.
Since the start of the cold war, many U.S. presidents have pissed off the Russians. Trump is the first to be accused of pissing ON them.
I subscribed to his newsletter because I never turn down a free MAGA-zine subscription.
Melania got used to everyone crowded into Trump Tower during the campaign. Now that everyone's gone, she looks around and it's just a little Barron.
Joke that inspired me is here : https://www.reddit.com/r/puns/comments/5p4ebt/on_donald_trumps_inaguration/

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fat_Hitchhiker
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2017
🚨︎ report
What will the inauguration balls be like if Deez Nuts wins the presidency of the U.S. ?
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kpauburn
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2015
🚨︎ report
Got my mom with this one yesterday.

Yesterday started a new motocross season for my nephew, so for his inaugural race a bunch of family went to watch him. I'm an amateur/hobbyist photographer so I brought my telephoto zoom lens out and my Canon body to get a few shots of him on the track. The assembled camera is about 18 inches in length. After putting it together:

Mom (first seeing it): Holy crap! That thing looks like a damn cannon!

Me: (pointing to the label) You sure know your cameras, it is a Canon!

Typical dad joke responses ensued.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Primacron
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2016
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.