The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.
It was an Apple with limited memory; just one byte. Then, everything crashed.
My first date, I nervously asked my date whether she eats circular dough baked in an oven...
She replied, "that's none of your biscuit!"
[First Date] Her: So what do you do?
Him: I’m working on eliminating all Cancers.
Her: Wow! Impressive.
Him: Then I’m moving on to Capricorns.
I met a girl on Tinder and we were going to go to the gym on our first date, but she stood me up.
I suppose we aren't gonna work out.
[First Date] Becky: So what do you do?
Guy: I’m a beekeeper.
Ecky: You astard, give it ack!
FIRST DATE: Her dad: "I want her home before midnight."
Me: "But you already own her home."
Dad: -turning to daughter- "If you don't sleep with him, I will."
Credit to u/psybermonkey15
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
For our first date, I had surgery with my wife
It was a great way for us to open up.
What's a pirate's greatest fear on the first date?
A sunken chest with no booty.
A man and a woman were on their first date.
A man and a woman were on their first date.
“So, I hear you hunt deer,” the woman said.
The man looked away and turned red.
“What’s wrong?” asked the woman.
The man bashfully replied, “I’m not used to someone calling me ‘dear’ on the first date.”
What’s the perfect first date?
You should never talk about the Titanic on a first date...
It's a terrible Icebreaker
I had my first date last night.
What an underrated fruit.
On my first date with my girlfriend, she proudly proclaimed that she wasn't born in the US, she's actually Scottish.
I told her "Oh, I love your tape."
The kind of thing you send on the first date
My wife emailed me the pictures of our first date together, but I couldn’t open any of the files.
I have serious emotional attachment issues.
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
How do you get a woman to say I love you on the first date?
You take a dog with you :)
First date
A man getting ready for his first date felt a bit out of his element so he phoned his friend, a scientist. To console the guy, the scientist tells him, "Just bismuth. You just might have some chemistry."
What did one door say to the other door on the first date?
A boy was feeling very nervous about his first date, so went to his father for advice. "My son, there are three subjects that always work with women: food, family, and philosophy." The boy picks up his date and they stare at each other for a long time...
The boy's nervousness builds, but he then asks, "Do you like potato pancakes?"
"No," comes the answer and the silence returns like a suffocating blanket.
"Do you have a brother?"
"No."
After giving it some thought, the boy plays his last card, "If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?"
I Really Hate First Dates.
They're always nuts.
I'm so sorry its my first time.
I went out on a first date with this girl. We went ice skating but we got kicked out.
We were starting to break the ice.
I had my first date last night.
I think I’ll stick to raisins.
My first date with an Emergency department nurse was...
I asked Dad about his first date with mom, he said he took her to a sauna. Why?
He wanted it to be a hot date.
I took my cute CPA go karting on our first date to a place called Turbo Tracks...
What do swines do on first dates?
At a restaurant, on a first date:
Her: Do you prefer cats or dogs?
Me, scanning the menu: What page are you on?
What did the TI-83 say after its first date?
I was on a first date at a restaurant.
After our mains, the waitress came over to our table. She said, 'Are you guys done?'
I said, 'Only if she doesn't pay the bill.'
I always take a first date out to a French restaurant. Girls love eating somewhere francy.
It's a shame Aziz Ansari is dealing with a scandal from a first date
He should have known it was not the right Tom to Have her for dessert.
I really appreciated the frozen daquiri after our first date.
I'll definately keep using Blendr.
After my first blind date with this woman, I knew it wouldn't work out between us and ended it after that.
She didn't see it coming.
I met a girl on Tinder and we were going to go to the gym on our first date, but she stood me up.
I suppose we aren't gonna work out.
[first date] her dad : I want her home before midnight
Me : but you already own her house
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.
It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte.
And then everything crashed.
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.
It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
You shouldn't kiss anyone on January 1st because it's only the first date.
My wife emailed me a photo of our first date together, but I couldn’t open the file.
I have trouble with emotional attachments.
Don't kiss anyone today, it's only the first date.
My wife emailed me a photo of our first date, but I couldn’t open the file.
I have trouble with emotional attachments.
Do you kiss on the first date?
What about the first raisin?
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