Dating between carbon descendants
My wife asked me, “Why don’t you treat me like you did when we were first dating!?”
So I took her to dinner and a movie then dropped her off at her parents’ house...
I was dating a communist recently
It was a horrible relationship, all the red flags were there.
I'm done with dating mermaids.
I'm ready for A riel woman.
My ex wife has started dating an Italian bricklayer.
She said, "It's cement to be...."
I once dated two girls called Edith and Kate. Kate found out and told Edith that I was dating both of them at the same time. They both broke up with me on the very same day!
Moral of the story is you can’t have your Kate and Edith too
In college, I used to live on a houseboat, and started dating the girl next door.
Eventually we drifted apart.
I'm starting a new dating service in Prague.
Dating in Greece
What did Sophocles call his dating service in Ancient Greece?
Oedipal Arrangements.
What did Obi Wan say to Luke when he was dating morally questionable women?
Your thots will betray you.
Did you hear about the new dating website for chemists?
It's called carbon dating.
I started up a dating site for chickens, but it's not my main job, I'm just doing it…
I was dating a girl with a wooden leg
I've been told to add this to my dating profile
Best Friend: “Why aren’t you dating anyone?” Me: “Call Me John”
“Cause I ain’t Cena girl worth my time yet”
Tired of online dating? You're not alone.
Oh, wait! Yes you are, that's why you are online dating.
I might be dating myself by admitting this...
but since the 80s, I've only gone to the movies alone.
What dating app do firefighters use?
When I heard that oxygen and magnesium were dating
So I started dating an OBGYN that said her job was more dangerous than mine.
So I asked what her riskiest encounter was. She said she did not know, but she learned early to give mothers with fat babies a wide berth.
I’m starting to lose trust in the cross eyed girl I’m dating.
I think she’s seeing other people on the side.
I personally find Tinder not that great of a dating service.
True story: My girlfriend just asked me if I knew any good jokes about physicists (my profession). I said yes, but they were all about physicists' dating lives.
So they're pretty much all one-liners.
I met your mother on a dating site.
I don't know, we just clicked.
I've been messaging a woman on a dating site. She's only 100cm tall.
My MIL, rest her soul, asked about my background while I was dating my wife.
I was worried, as I'm a bit of a mutt.
She says she didn't care as long as I didn't have Roman hands or Russian fingers.
How a carpenter describes his personality on a dating app
You know the biggest problem with dating apps?
Why did the lettuce stop dating the mushroom?
He though she was a pretty fungal, but didn't have mushroom on his schedule.
I started dating a communist and she’s a real psycho.
How did I miss all the red flags?
Two meth heads start a relationship, is that considered speed dating
Two lumberjacks were cutting wood. One of them shouted at the other over the noise of the chainsaw, “What was the name of that tree ring dating app you were using?”
The other replied, “Tiiiiimmmber!”
I've been dating a ghost lately.
But im never seeing her again. Im done with her sheet. I thought she was gonna scream MY name during sex at least once
But my name is not Boo.
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
Dating a person with OCD can be difficult.
Every time you get turned on, they turn you off again.
Which transformer has hottest dating life?
What did the hulk say during speed dating
In hulk voice: "hulk tired of just smashing, hulk want meaningful relationship
What dating app does Tony hawk use?
I'm dating a medusa
One look and I'm rock hard.
Was pretty proud of this exchange on a dating app tonight
My neighbour said he'd look after my dog if I accepted the fact that he's currently dating a punctuation mark.
I started dating my yoga instructor.
Now we're friends with zenefits.
What do young latina women that are dating Snoop Dogg call him in bed?
Did you hear about the new dating site that matches women up with construction workers?
I'm starting a new dating service in Prague
My wife asked me, “Why don’t you treat me like you did when we were first dating!?”
So I took her to dinner and a movie then dropped her off at her parents’ house...
My wife said to me: ''Why don't you treat me like you did when we were first dating?''
So I took her out to dinner, to a movie,
then I dropped her off at her parents'
place.
New dating service launched in Prague!
I've just started up a dating site for chickens. It's not my normal day job, I'm just doing it…
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
