Joe Biden is reportedly looking to nominate geologists to be supreme associate justices
The news supports recent claims that he's trying to stack the quartz
A sales associate spots an Asian man at a Mortal Kombat console.
She asks if the man wants to try it out.
The man replies, "No, I'm just Liu Kang."
My neighbour lends people money, but refuses to take on partners or associates.
He's a lone-wolf loan-shark.
I own a kennel. Apparently, its conditions were so unsanitary that the UN had to get involved. When I came back from vacation, I asked my associate where all my animals had gone.
He replied "WHO let the dogs out."
"Who?"
"WHO"
"Who???"
"WHO"
I'll show myself out.
Walked into a retail store, associate asks "do you need a hand?"
"No thanks, I've got two."
What is the Tunnel Diggers Association's motto?
Have you seen the car crash at the national association for blind people?
Witnesses claim they didn't see it coming
My daughter invented a writing instrument that never runs out of ink, never smudges and cures any other difficulties associated with writing...
The president of the National Referees Association has been arrested for corruption.
Investigators haven't released the name of the whistle-blower.
From the Wikipedia article about the song Cherish by The Association.
"It's a pleasure to be here as the keynote speaker for 'The Purple Fruit Growers Association'" said Tom
I'm a member of the American Medical Association, AMA.
A new father goes to a club that helps adjust to fatherhood
Receptionist: Hello and welcome to the NDA, or New Dad Association, how may I help you today?
Dad: Can I tell other people about this?
What do you have to do to become a member of the Golf Equipment Repair Association?
I lied on my application for membership to the American Amputee Association
When they found out, I was dismembered.
I got voted in as Chairman of the Walkie-Talkie Association today
Since flowers produce aroma, and flowers are typically associated with love, couldn't flowers be considered aromantic item?
Old man Art was planting flowers in his front yard. The homeowners’ association fined him $100.
Yard Art is strictly prohibited.
What's the association for gay colours called?
Why does the powerwalking association have a hard time electing a president?
My Canadian friend was reluctant to emcee the Young Men's Christian Association event.
His exact words were, "Why emcee, eh?"
I got into a fight with the Home Owner's Association about my gate. So they took it down.
I guess you could say they took offense.
What would an association run by professional nuns focus on?
I finally got a letter back from the Bladder Association
Fruit pun related to wealth
I want to make a joke about a rich fruit, and so am need to choose a fruit best associated with wealth, riches having lots of money, etc..
Can any of you pun masters help me out?
My daughter wanted to clean her cardboard rocketship with her face cloth...
Trying to reduce the enormous amount of laundry associated with kids,
I said, "you don't need to clean your rocketship. It's not dirty. Space is a vacuum"....
I could hear my wife's eyes roll in the next room. Success!
What does DNA stand for?
National Dyslexic association.
Have you heard about the U.S. Cattleman's Association?
They have a real beef with meat alternatives.
What do you call the directors at the Wrinkle Free Association?
The Ironing Board.
On the nose, but I just made it up. At least I have never heard it before.
Need gnome puns ASAP
My mom’s friend is trying to write a card for her husband for Valentine’s Day, and he loves gnomes. Shes trying to find gnome puns to put in the card associated with Valentine’s Day. Please help because I don’t know any good gnome puns.
What part of the brain is associated with laziness?
My friend said that stray dogs have no masters.
I agreed and added that they don't even have associates.
Help me help a friend: need a good pun
Hi, a friend of mine had to organize a “theme”week for a Biology student’s association. The name of the theme has to be a biology pun. Examples are: smells like green spirit, game of thorns, sofishticated or the great catsby.
These names were all used in the past and now she needs new names. Help me out, thanks in advance.
Being undead only sometimes sucks.
I wondered why zombies, ghouls, and vampires are so closely associated. After all, why would decaying shambling corpses be associated with the suave Dracula-esque? then it hit me:
Most vampires are necromancers, but not all necromancers are vampires.
What does DNA stand for?
National Dyslexic Association
What does DNA stand for?
National dyslexia association
Do you know what DNA stands for?
National Dyslexic Association
What does DNA stand for?
National Dyslexic Association
What does DNA stand for?
National dyslexic association
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