She asks if the man wants to try it out.
The man replies, "No, I'm just Liu Kang."
He's a lone-wolf loan-shark.
He replied "WHO let the dogs out."
"Who?"
"WHO"
"Who???"
"WHO"
I'll show myself out.
"No thanks, I've got two."
Witnesses claim they didn't see it coming
It's a regular penacea!
Investigators haven't released the name of the whistle-blower.
Receptionist: Hello and welcome to the NDA, or New Dad Association, how may I help you today?
Dad: Can I tell other people about this?
with much aplomb.
When they found out, I was dismembered.
Join the club
The vote was 10 - 4
Yard Art is strictly prohibited.
Trying to reduce the enormous amount of laundry associated with kids,
I said, "you don't need to clean your rocketship. It's not dirty. Space is a vacuum"....
I could hear my wife's eyes roll in the next room. Success!
I want to make a joke about a rich fruit, and so am need to choose a fruit best associated with wealth, riches having lots of money, etc..
Can any of you pun masters help me out?
Nobody runs
His exact words were, "Why emcee, eh?"
I guess you could say they took offense.
Pronunciation.
Urine the club
National Dyslexic Association
They have a real beef with meat alternatives.
My mom’s friend is trying to write a card for her husband for Valentine’s Day, and he loves gnomes. Shes trying to find gnome puns to put in the card associated with Valentine’s Day. Please help because I don’t know any good gnome puns.
I agreed and added that they don't even have associates.
The Ironing Board.
On the nose, but I just made it up. At least I have never heard it before.
Hi, a friend of mine had to organize a “theme”week for a Biology student’s association. The name of the theme has to be a biology pun. Examples are: smells like green spirit, game of thorns, sofishticated or the great catsby.
These names were all used in the past and now she needs new names. Help me out, thanks in advance.
The medulla idontgata
I wondered why zombies, ghouls, and vampires are so closely associated. After all, why would decaying shambling corpses be associated with the suave Dracula-esque? then it hit me:
Most vampires are necromancers, but not all necromancers are vampires.
The auction's goal was to raise money for Tourette syndrome research by selling origami figures made by famous celebrities. To highlight the purpose of the auction, the organization in charge asked all participating celebs to write a replacement of a naughty four-letter word most closely associated with the disorder.
For example, George Clooney's origami penguin said Fudge instead of the F-word.
Margot Robbie's paper flower said Beach instead of the B-word.
I bid on the origami made by Dwayne Johnson.
The Rock's paper scissors said Shoot.
I told her it was the National Dyslexics Association.
National Dyslexic association.
National dyslexia association
National Dyslexic Association
National Dyslexic Association
National dyslexic association
