The Quaranteens
He was practically inseparable from his pickaxe
I guess you could say she's a little... psycho
It gives me a case of the E G B Gs
It just gives me the E B G B's
It’s non friction.
Accidentally played a major
It got irrationally angry
A Gin&Subtonic
To which he replied, “good thing you’re laying down”. Ugh.
I shouldn’t have taken a class with Dr. Fibin Ouchie.
I said, "you ain't seen Nothing yet!"
Turns out caves are scary
I don’t know how she got that job, but there’s just something I really dig about overalls and headlamps!
Aquaphor
A pedentist
That's right, it was a fender bender with a Fender bender.
It was a fraction of a fracking infraction.
First and foremost, I've decided to add a rule 7. Please, for the love of God, have the slightest bit of creativity and do not put the punchline of the joke in the title. The reasoning being as follows.
Most importantly, putting the punchline in the title ruins the joke, unless it is a one liner!
*
Secondarily, this is a puns subreddit dedicated to wordplay, if you lack the creativity to restate something in a humorous way rather than regurgitating the punchline as the header, perhaps this isn't the subreddit for you...
#Secondarily,
I've made a few minor spam filter tweaks. Your post will be caught in the spam filter if:
- Your account has less than +3 combined comment and link karma.
- Your account is less than 7 days old.
What will happen if your post is filtered is it will automatically go into the spam queue, and I'll try to have it unfiltered in the span of a couple of minutes/hours, but sometimes I do sleep so sadly it may take longer.
My post isn't appearing! How do I fix it?
If your post is not appearing and it has not violated any of the rules, feel free to drop us a mod message and I'll get a mobile notification within 30 minutes or so of the post removal, putting it on the fast track to being restored.
In the car with my brother and parents, heading out to a restaurant. Brother brings up a ski trip we're going on...
Brother: "I'm probably going to take it easy for the first day or two. Ski a couple blue squares, just do some minor things-"
Dad: "Dig for gold?"
"No, i think we're all cashiers here."
My brother and I visited him at the Hospital. We talked for awhile about what happened. Apparently, he ate at one of the more popular food stands in our area that specializes in Pork Sandwiches, Philly Cheesesteaks, and other such greasy foods. He looked at us and said "you know, I should go back there and tell them that their food was so good, it gave me a heart attack!"
My father, ladies and gentlemen. Don't let shit get you down.
Dad and I walk into minor hockey league stadium. He sees the Chuck-A-Puck booth, stops me and say "if we move up to the big leagues they'll change the name to Charles-A-Puck".
My brain couldn't decide if I should laugh or just roll my eyes so I did neither and just stared blankly. It did not phase him.
We were talking about college.
Brother: I'm thinking about minoring in music.
Uncle: I used to know a couple minors down in Kentucky. They were always stoned.
"I was thinking about trying out a geography minor."
"Oh really? What makes you want to head in that direction." - Pun one she doesn't acknowledge
"I don't know I just find it interesting. I think I'd like to try human geography."
"Oh really? My cousin told me he took physical geography and said it rocks." - She pauses and stares at me with an unimpressed face, but reluctantly continues
"No I think people geography would be more my style."
"Ya I can see that. You're much more of a people person." - Her eyes flare as it's obvious shes holding back a bellowing guffaw
"We're done here."
The 87'ers were losing to the Springfield Armor. My friend's dad turns to me and says, "I guess you could say they're under-armour."
It gives me the E-B-G-Bs.
It gives me the E-B-G-Bs.
