Why, after a rib dinner, did everyone want wet, juvenile nocturnal raptors?

And why do they think Iā€™d have a supply of moist owlets, anyways?

šŸ‘︎ 8
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/pj566
šŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
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Some people think my puns are rather juvenile

I prefer to think of them as full groan

šŸ‘︎ 29
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/BXCellent
šŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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I heard Juvenile's next album will not be released because his studio's hard drive crashed...

Perhaps he should've backed that thing up.

šŸ‘︎ 3
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/atomproject
šŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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An educated Rhinoceros was considering dropping out of university, which he thought was juvenile and cheesy.

He said "I can't be bothered with all this uni-corn".

šŸ‘︎ 5
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šŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2016
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Not a dad but work at a juvenile detention

The kids were having grapes for a snack. Several kids were complaining about the grapes. I told them "stop being ungrapeful and eat them, then you'll be grapeful." Right after I left for break and told them to "have a grape time". I'm proud and disappointed at the same time.

šŸ‘︎ 4
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šŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2013
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Why did the Mexican take anti anxiety medication

For Hispanic attacks

šŸ‘︎ 8k
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/joeytherealking
šŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
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I was on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies...

Is this a trick question?

šŸ‘︎ 10k
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/VERBERD
šŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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Well I mean I would be mad...
šŸ‘︎ 11k
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/xxDr-Beckyxx
šŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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Authorities are searching for a four-foot tall woman who recently escaped from prison in upstate New York. She was serving a five year sentence for fraud after convincing a number of victims that she was a powerful psychic.

Now she's a small medium at large.

šŸ‘︎ 76
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šŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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what do you call the smaller rivers that run into the nile?

the juveniles

šŸ‘︎ 30
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/roguewavesurfin
šŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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Everyone, I have the black lung!

It's alright, though. I'll be fine. It's just a miner problem.

šŸ‘︎ 6
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/vaca232
šŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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Got a co-worker with this one as he was heading home after a 24hr shift.

I work in the investigations section of a military police department, and aside from our normal office hours, we have 24hr shifts that cycle through the office, so that there's an investigator present and on-duty 24/7/365.

My co-worker was wrapping up some paperwork this morning, and coming off of his 24 hr shift, and almost dead to the world. At the time, a pair of other investigators in my office were discussing some case that had happened a day or two prior that involved an emancipated juvenile.

I was just logging into my workstation to check my e-mail and I turned to my co-worker and asked, "Hey, so when a juvenile gets emancipated, and he announces it - proclaims it, if you will - what would they call that?"

He stares at me with a blank, uncomprehending expression and I continue, "An emancipation...proclamation? Maybe?"

The annoyed groans of someone who's been up for 24 hours are so satisfying.

šŸ‘︎ 845
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Droidball
šŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2015
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My dad was in a rock n roll band in middle school

He played lead guitar. He said "we weren't very good...however one time we played at a juvenile detention center and we had a captive audience".

šŸ‘︎ 17
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šŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2015
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Dad Jokes About Manatees

My husband and I were recently in Florida and we saw juvenile manatees at the beach. When I retold this story to my dad he said, "Oh, they weren't fully grown? That makes them boy-a-tees. Not man-a-tees."

šŸ‘︎ 3
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/sheaness
šŸ“…︎ May 08 2014
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I heard Juvenile's next album is not going to be released because his studio's hard drive crashed...

I guess he should have backed that thing up.

šŸ‘︎ 10
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/atomproject
šŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2018
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