Saw pile of dirty dishes and my teen buried in her phoneβ¦
Hey, if you have time to TEEN, you have time to clean!
She was horrified, but wife was amused. Win win.
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︎ May 31 2021
I rode my bike again for the first time since my teens. I canβt believe that I can still ride it so well.
Itβs just like riding a bike.
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︎ Jun 02 2021
The teen was mortified when his mom brought up his underwear at dinner
It was a brief conversation
π︎ 4
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︎ May 10 2021
Why do teens only group in odd numbers?
Because they canβt even.
π︎ 20
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︎ Apr 14 2021
Being a teen can be a very challenging, especially when you turn 13.
You're in your prime and everything feels very odd
π︎ 13
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︎ Apr 05 2021
Me to my teen age daughter in the grocery store while I hold a melon.
βYou cantaloupe! Your too youngβ
π︎ 9
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︎ Mar 10 2021
What does Thomas the Tank Engine call his teen brother?
π︎ 5
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︎ Mar 14 2021
There was a post about a teen holding his own heart in his hands after a heart transplant, I thought these comments belonged here
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︎ Nov 27 2020
Taking to my teen daughter Nd asked if she wanted a cantaloupe. She said no and I asked if she wanted a can-aloupe...
She replied yes I think people should be allowed to get married however they want. So proud.
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︎ Jan 31 2021
After many years of therapy, my psychologist has finally cured me of the desire to sit in the corner in public and blow on people that walk by! But now I have the urge to wear teen idol t-shirts and lean against the wall...
Long time fan, first time poster.
π︎ 25
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︎ Nov 06 2020
What is it called when a teen has a baby?
π︎ 2
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︎ Dec 22 2020
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
Sheβs now my quaranteen.
π︎ 6
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︎ Nov 05 2020
I know it's a public health thing ... still getting pretty tired of this Korn teen
π︎ 7
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︎ Aug 20 2020
I mean normally the customer service at the chip shop is fine. But when there's huge lines and only a few teens working there? Then it's...
π︎ 7
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︎ May 15 2020
Singer of Smells Like Teen Spirit
π︎ 9
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︎ Mar 24 2020
My teen daughter was complaining about life under βSafer at homeβ. βI canβt see my friends, thereβs literally nothing to do thatβs not online. Even my classes are online!β
I said, βOK, Zoomer.β
π︎ 27
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︎ Apr 29 2020
What do you call a teen that can do anything?
π︎ 17
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︎ Feb 17 2020
What does your teen daughters wardrobe have in common with trying to post memes without watermarks?
You hope to avoid crop tops and cutoffs.
π︎ 8
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︎ May 02 2020
An homage to a one-time teen star suspended from the Muppet*Vision ceiling, Disney World
π︎ 2
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︎ Feb 15 2020
I was out playing Pokemon with my fiance when I approached a group of teens with their phones out. "Hey, I'm looking for my friend Amal..."
"Have you seen him? He's a tall Pakistani guy. Can't miss him."
"No, sorry man."
"Bummer... Yeah I've gotta catch Amal."
My fiance nearly threw her engagement ring at me for that one.
π︎ 7k
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︎ Jul 23 2016
If a adolescent male is a Teen-ager then
A adult male is a Man-ager
π︎ 36
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︎ Feb 19 2020
What do australian teens say, when they miss a call from their grandmother?
π︎ 5
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︎ Jan 16 2020
What do you call the ghost of a hyperactive teen?
An adolescent Adderall essence
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 22 2019
What do balding guys and teen beards have in common?
π︎ 20
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︎ Jan 08 2020
Two underwater teens fell in love
Thatβs the day the mermaid realized women and seamen donβt mix
π︎ 7
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︎ Feb 01 2020
So a teen asks his crush to the prom, which she agrees to
On the day of the prom, he goes to pick up his suit. However, once he gets there, thereβs a line, so he waits....and waits...and waits...
After he gets his suit, he goes to get her corsage. When he gets to the flower shop, however, thereβs an even bigger line, so he waits...and he waits...and he waits...
Once he had the corsages, he made his way to her house, but the roads were packed so he had to wait in line for the turnoff. So he waited...and waited.
Finally, he reaches her house, picks her up, and drives her to prom. But thereβs a line to get into the school, so they wait... and wait...
At last, they are in the prom and dancing away. After a while, they get thirsty. So they head for the refreshment table and.....
Thereβs no punch line
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︎ Jun 28 2018
My problematic teen kid just fled across the border
He really crossed the line this time!
π︎ 2
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︎ Dec 24 2019
Do you guys know which album Smells Like Teen Spirit was on?
π︎ 8
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︎ Oct 19 2019
I told my teen daughter to invite all the boys she texts over for Thanksgiving...
We're gonna call it a Friends-zone-giving.
π︎ 4
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︎ Oct 23 2019
I could never appreciate children between the ages of 13 and 19. Then, I added macro-nutrients made of amino acids to my diet. Now, I am pro-teen!
A dad joke original from my dad!!!
π︎ 9
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︎ Sep 02 2019
Thereβs a new Apple device thatβs out to help teens cope with Dad jokes.
Its called the iRoll with a companion download for adults called the Groan app.
π︎ 113
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︎ Apr 18 2018
I think the biggest reason teen pregnancies get such a bad rap
is because it's so much harder to give birth to a teenager.
π︎ 10
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︎ Aug 13 2019
After being warned to protect my new phone, I finally got my protection in the mail today. They sent me one meant for a teen girl with bieber on it. I still will use it until i can replace it to protect my phone.
Just in: Case; Justin case. Just Encase, just in case.
π︎ 4
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︎ Apr 25 2019
Salt Lake City is concerned that too many teens are rebelling by going "Goth"
π︎ 15
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︎ Apr 11 2017
It is so cold in Chicago today that teens are pulling up their own pants.
π︎ 8
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︎ Jan 29 2019
Teens these days always forget to practice safe eating
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 23 2018
Watching the weatherman give the forecast and he says we'll probably see some teens late tonight and I said
They shouldn't be out that late without adult supervision. The sound of eyes rolling is music to my ears.
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 24 2018
NEWS reporter βAustralian border security caught teens trying to import 400 million dollars worth of iceβ
Dad βif I knew ice was worth that much Iβd put more in the fridgeβ
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 14 2018
What's a chemist's favorite 80s teen comedy film?
π︎ 10
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︎ Jul 24 2018
Did you hear about the teens who broke into the San Diego Zoo and attacked a large sea cow?
They've been charged with crimes against huge manatee.
π︎ 25
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︎ Dec 29 2016
My dad used to tell me jokes when I was a teen. When he stopped, I reluctantly asked him why.
He said, "Well son, you don't need to. You've already groaned up in the past years."
π︎ 6
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︎ Apr 02 2018
I've written a play about a troubled teen who gets drunk on mexican beer and blinds a bunch of horses. It's called . . . .
π︎ 16
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︎ Nov 02 2012
Just got me teen daughter
Her: I'm surprised Zhanna didn't wake up. I guess she is a heavier sleeper.
Me: Hmmmm, no. I think you weigh about the same.
Cue eye roll.
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︎ Jun 23 2015
There should be a Network Television show to inform teens about the dangers of unprotected sex.
They can call it "Genital Hospital".
π︎ 15
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︎ Jul 24 2017
Ended an endless teen conversation
My daughter who is 15 was hanging out with one of her friends. They were having a typical teenage conversation over which is better turkey or chicken. After a good 5 minutes of "Turkey.. No chicken... No turkey!" I interjected and said "You know what... I think your conversation is pretty fowl". It was a very proud period of silence after that.
π︎ 25
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︎ Nov 15 2014
Out of the blue: A dad joke from my teen-age son
We're in California, and the drought is on our minds as we approach what (in a good year) is the rainy season. As I checked the weather forecast, I gave a little cheer.
"Chance of showers this week!" I told my son.
"Well, for me, it's a 100% chance," he said. "Every morning, about 5:30."
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︎ Nov 12 2014
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