Why was the teenage fidgeting with the bridge on the beach

Bcz of pier pressure

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrbing3904
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What did Mr T say to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles when they asked who his new girlfriend is?

It's April fools!

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
🚨︎ report
My teenage daughter was sat idle on our spinning bike...

I told her she needed to listen to less cardiB and start doing more cardiO

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/olivermbs
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Who's the most secretive Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle?

Donatello

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/supra_elongata
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I suspected my teenage son was sneaking food, but nothing prepared me for when I entered his room unannounced

I caught him masticating

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fill-Chapo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
🚨︎ report
My teenage daughter is really acting odd...

She can't even.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Teenage Mutant CHINja Turtles
πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fooooock
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A teenage daughter is like a dyslexic Mexican

Always rolling their I's instead of their R's.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/R3DW01F728
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do teenage girls walk in groups of 3, 5 and 7? /r/teenagers/comments/k3e…
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anwallen
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do teenage girls only hang around in groups of odd numbers?

Because OMG they can’t even.

πŸ‘︎ 498
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rob_Haggis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do teenage girls always walk around in odd numbered groups?

Because they can't even.

πŸ‘︎ 361
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clbull
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My teenage daughter came home from school and she was blazing mad. β€œWe had sex education today, dad and you lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my sixteenth birthday, my boyfriend will die!” I put down my newspaper, looked at her and said…

β€œOh, he will, sweetheart, he will.”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Why do teenage girls always walk in odd numbers

Cuz they like can’t even

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nikolas306736
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
When kids born in 2020 hit their teenage years, we can call them quaranteens.
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom...

....First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.

Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.

Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done.

Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SledgeHog
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a teenage boy's bedside diary?

Sticky Notes

πŸ‘︎ 127
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Allgen
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
🚨︎ report
So a teenage boy asks a girl out to prom

He asks her out, and he needs to plan, so first, he needs his tuxedo.

So he goes to the tuxedo shop, and there's a huge line of people there, so he waits for 30 minutes, then an hour, and he finally gets his tuxedo.

Then, he needs to rent a limo, to look nice and formal and everything, so he walks into the limo rental shop, and again, there's a huge line, so he waits for 30 minutes and then an hour goes by, then 2, and he finally gets his limo.

On the night of the prom, he pulls up to her house with the limo, and she gets in, and on their way to the prom building, a huge traffic jam happens! So they wait, and then 30 minutes goes by, then an hour, and they finally arrive at the building!

So they walk in, take some pictures, and dance for a bit, and after a while, the girl asks, "hey can you get us some punch?"

So the boy walks over to the punch bowl and guess what?

There's no punchline.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/infinityglitches
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Its hard being a teenage mother

Especially when you're a teenage male.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Samarpaul77
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I was at the doctors with my teenage son,

"Your son has what we call a lazy eye," said the doctor.

"Oh dear," I answered, "it's obviously spread from the rest of his body."

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My teenage daughter showed me a small bump on her hand and asked what it was...

I told her I thought it was a bug bite and she asked 'But where did I get bitten?' and I said 'On your hand.' :D She even laughed! True story!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HumboltQuadrant
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A mother mountain says to her moody teenage mountain β€œdon’t you give me that altitude!!”
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/njo71357
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Once I was in a band called teenage bed

We never made it.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DimitkoRD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Teenage Mutant Ninja Puns

Teenage Mutant Ninja Puns

Me: Hey, have you seen the last east episode of TMNT?

Friend: Yeah, I have! It was turtally awesome!

Me: ...Are you seriously gonna keep reusing that one, or should I expect something new? You’ve been using that one for awhile.

Friend: Oh, I’m sorry, do you want me to shell out some more puns? I’ve got a million of 'em, folks! I’ll be here all week!

Me: sighs in exasperation

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WTFBOOOMSH
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A teenage girl came across an elderly man sitting next to his radio, tapping his cane to a Lil Wayne song.

"Wow! I didn't think you'd like rap music!"

"I didn't, either," the old man replied. "It all started after my hip op".

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kleefband
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My teenage daughter asks me every day how she looks...

And I always reply 'with your eyes, silly!'

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LudwigFeuerbach
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Voldemort is Basically a Teenage Girl

He has a diary, a tiara, a special cup, a pet he adores, and an obsession with a famous teenage boy.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WqrriorCow
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
For the last few months, I’ve been noticing that my teenage son periodically breaks into hives.

I have no idea why he hates bees so much.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an angsty teenage robot?

A sigh borg.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vahn1982
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My teenage daughter said: "Don't be mad but I'm pregnant."

I replied, "My apologies I mistook you for my daughter, have a good day Pregnant."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ForumFluffy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My moment finally came in the dad joke universe, and my teenage son kinda giggled!

My son and I were in Lids picking out a nice hat for a Christmas present. We wanted to see one on the top rack so the employee grabbed her little hook tool to grab it. Well, she dropped it on the floor... I told my son "I think we can get it for dirty percent off!" My son smirked and laughed just barely but started saying no dad, just no. I was pretty proud of myself!

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmuckRunner
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
A Teenage daughter is being intimate with her boyfriend...

And her dad walks in.

"Dad I'm sorry" says the girl.

"Hi sorry I'm Dad" says the dad.

The dad then turns to her boyfriend and asks "Are you fucking sorry?"

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spotexx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2017
🚨︎ report
Teenage daughter asked "When is that new Elton John movie coming out?"

I replied "I think it's gonna be a long, long time"

πŸ‘︎ 103
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ibrentlam
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
🚨︎ report
A teenage girl was getting frisky with her boyfriend...

At her parent's house. Her father, after being woken by the noises, goes upstairs to check it out; and walks in on them. "Dad!" she exclaimed in a panic "...I'm sorry" The dad being, a dad, replies "hi sorry, I'm Dad!" He then turns to the boyfriend and asks "Are you *fucking* sorry?"

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Where does the teenage boar with a skin condition go to school?

Hogworts.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wtrsport430
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
A teenage boy is ready to take a girl to homecoming...

He goes to get her a drink, but comes back empty-handed.

"Wow, that's the punch line?"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/headintheskye
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my teenage daughter to go get me a phone book...

She laughed at me, and said

"Oh dad you're so old. Just use my phone."

So I slammed her phone against the wall to kill a spider.

πŸ‘︎ 133
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MemeDeli
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
🚨︎ report
My teenage daughter feels attacked by my jokes... after not getting up on time.

I told her that is her PUNishment..

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bad11ama
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My teenage daughter saw me reading Dune

She said "You keep telling me to read this book. How about it?"

I said "It's a good book, though a bit arid."

πŸ‘︎ 417
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MuadLib
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2016
🚨︎ report
Do you know a common problem for teenage ducks?

Voice Quacks

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
🚨︎ report
My teenage son came home upset that his crush is attracted to the new foreign exchange student at school

So I went to the drug store and bought him the best Axe Scent money can buy!

πŸ‘︎ 178
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingBuck_413
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2018
🚨︎ report
My teenage son got a tattoo of a deck of cards without our permission.

I might have to deal with him later.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Dad joked my teenage son this afternoon

Driving down the highway, when I saw a car carrying a bicycle on a bike rack. The bike was missing its front wheel.

Me: Glad to see that bike is well rested. Son: What do you mean? Me: It's not two tired.

I grinned all the way home, while he just kept rolling his eyes, pretending it wasn't funny.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/copast2
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2014
🚨︎ report
What did the teenage Vampire say?

Bruh, bruh, bruh

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Apoca_Lipps
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My teenage daughter came home from school and she was blazing mad. β€œWe had sex education today dad and you lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my sixteenth birthday, my boyfriend will die!” I put down my newspaper, looked at her and said…

β€œOh, he will, sweetheart, he will.”

πŸ‘︎ 207
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are teenage girls so odd?

Because they can't even.

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daleadil
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Who do the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have a crush on?

April, you fools.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nf22
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do teenage girls hang out in odd numbered groups?

Because they can't even.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MiaTheDuckling
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
🚨︎ report
A teenage girl was being intimate with her boyfriend

at her parent's house. Her father after being woken by the noises goes upstairs to check it out,and walks in on them.

"Dad!", she exclaimed in panic "... I'm sorry" The dad being a dad replies, "hi sorry, I'm Dad!"

He then turns to the boyfriend and asks "Are you fucking sorry?"

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i_wish_i_could__
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
🚨︎ report

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