I found out that my salary from starring in porn movies was going to David Hasselhoff...

All my hard work was going to pay Hoff.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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What do you name a 2020 porno starring college freshman?

Co-Ed Vid 19

Womp womp

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZerolFaithl
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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What’s your favorite classic Christmas movie starring MaCaulay Culkin?
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doodledundun
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
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Did you hear they're remaking the movie Anaconda starring Sylvester Stallone?

They're gonna call it Rocky Balboa Constrictor

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trollcitybandit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
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What do you call a chicken starring at lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marryy1021
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
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Starring Chaff Miller, coming soon to a theater near you
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mattwinkler007
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
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The Sitter-Downers, starring the Three Stooges

[the Three Stooges pick names out of a hat, to determine who gets to marry which girl]
Larry (Larry Fine): I got Florabell!
Florabelle: Darling!
Moe (Moe Howard): I got Corabell!
Corabelle: Oh, Darling!
Curly (Curly Howard): I got Stetson! What one is she?

(from the Three Stooges short film, The Sitter-Downers)

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfraymond
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Disney movie starring a DJ?

Beauty and the Beats.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brisingr2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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I'm planning a parody TV show of Stranger Things, but starring river-based forest creatures.

I'm calling it Otter Stuff.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/poorloko
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
'Right Place, Wrong Tim' - starring Asa Butterfield, in a pun filled, horror comedy set in a 90s clock shop youtube.com/watch?v=f-jsf…
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mc_jakie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
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Did you hear about the new tomato soup and crackers movie starring Tom Cruise?

It’s called Bisquey Ritzness

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear Chris Hemsworth is starring in the next Frozen movie?

They hope he might Thor it out.

EDIT: Fixed it for you people who don't get it...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rgisosceles
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2015
🚨︎ report
Cleaning out the garage, Episode 1, starring: my dad.

This is what happens when you retire.

http://i.imgur.com/WDQ2hR1.png

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skunkreturns
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2016
🚨︎ report
My husband says he is leaving me because of my obsession with Star Wars.

I said, β€œPlease don’t go, honey. You’re the Obi-Wan for me.”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Do_I_Need_Pants
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
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Stars War
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drifloony
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Which Star Wars character works in a restaurant?

Darth Waiter.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and thinking to myself....

Where the fuck is my roof ?

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
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I was watching Star Trek: The Next Generation on my mobile and the feed shut off.

I got a text from my mobile provider saying I’d exceeded my monthly Data allowance.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
🚨︎ report
In honor of Star Wars Day (May The Fourth), here’s a themed dad joke!

Did you know the temperature of a Bacta tank is lukewarm?

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dusk118
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Just a reminder that it's only "Star Wars Day" if....

...you have a lisp.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/akambe
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Quick reference for Star Wars: Chewie is short for Chewbacca, Ben Kenobi is short for Obi-Wan Kenobi...

...and Luke Skywalker is short for a storm trooper

πŸ‘︎ 324
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RKO-Cutter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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My son asked me why is there space between earth and stars?

Because earthandstars is hard to read.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/delo357
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
🚨︎ report
My son Luke loves it that we named all our kids after Star Wars characters...

My daughter Chewbacca, not so much.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the blackhole say to the star before eating it?

Itadaki-mass

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AcidicTart
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife screamed at me, "You're obsessed with those Star Wars movies. I've had enough. I'm leaving you."

"May divorce be with you!!" I replied.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
🚨︎ report
David Bowie starred in the film labyrinth

As a kid I thought this film was aMAZEing

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
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I was outside, laying down, at night, admiring the stars and the moon

Then it dawned on me.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pineappleninja91
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Ms Wilson, Australian star of the Pitch Perfect movies has announced she no longer believes in Santa.

She is a Rebel without a Claus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kouroshkeshavarz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Our son Luke loves that we chose Star Wars characters as an inspiration when naming our kids.

His sister Chewbacca is less thrilled.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fibalcurva
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I've got the body of a porn star....

All my clothes says XXXX.

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a neon sheep in the Star Wars universe?

A day-glo baa.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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I got arrested at NASA.

I didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

Edit: thanks for the awards, kind strangers!

Gamora: "I am going to die surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jonnyabcde
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Chewbacca of Star Wars was once a great baseball player in The Major Leagues. . . . . .

Seriously, he won Wookie of the year.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Who stared as Han Solo in the Scandinavian remake of Star Wars?

Harrison Fjord.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rufusjivefunk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
🚨︎ report
I had a Wookie burger at a Star Wars cafe

It was a bit Chewie

πŸ‘︎ 124
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Majin_P
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife left me because of my obsession with horoscopes

It Taurus apart

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
William Shatner, Star Trek’s Captain Kirk, is said to be extremely disappointed after the collapse of his recently launched women’s underwear business...

Apparently, nobody was interested in buying β€˜Shatner Panties’.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
My spouse left me because of my obsession with Star Wars.

Divorce is strong with this one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
🚨︎ report
I've never seen star wars. Are these the names of the characters? reddit.com/gallery/ku5asv
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/merppymerp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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I promised my new girlfriend the sun, the moon and the stars....

So, I took her to the planetarium.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Why haven’t aliens visited our Solar System yet?

They looked at the reviews... only 1 star

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Belpix0
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied?

Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham

πŸ‘︎ 355
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Jesus Christ Snooker Star.
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Skeptic: This ninja star can never fit through that gap!

Ninja: Shuriken

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wentzitcame
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I recently played in a Star Wars themed cricket match.

Every time the ball was delivered the Umpire struck back.

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yeomanroach
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My favorite Star Wars character is a philosopher
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamapizza
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Ever since the Death Star blew up, Anakin has taken to the NY Stock Exchange

He goes by Darth Trader

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
A couple of coffee beans were having a comedy show, just between friends...

It was a light roast!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cameForTheGum
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Tell a man there are three hundred billion stars in the universe, and he believes you.

Tell him a bench has wet paint on it, and he has to touch it to be sure.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/decentname99
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
If Chewie is short for Chewbacca, and Ben is short for Obi Wan, what is Luke short for?

A Storm Trooper!

πŸ‘︎ 503
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MissKit87
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
🚨︎ report
My son Luke loves that we named him after a Star Wars character.

My daughter Chewbacca not so much

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jezzter88
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My son Luke loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters.

My daughter Chewbacca, not so much.

πŸ‘︎ 256
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report

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