I don't get why they call it a Samsung Galaxy.

I can't even call Mars.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kashindabank
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
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What’s the opposite of a galaxy?

A guy-axy.

  • From my 8 year old daughter.
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beetlebath
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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My lactose intolerant friend need to leave this galaxy.

Cause its 'Milky'-way.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rairishu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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Guardians of the galaxy
πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spinnaker190
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
After achieving universal peace, the Guardians of the Galaxy settled down and opened a floor tile business.

I Am Grout

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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How can you tell that Saturn is the most liked planet in our galaxy?

If you like it, then you have to put a ring on it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rustychance
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Who’s the best basketball player in a galaxy far far away?

Obi wan Kobe

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sid-16
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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As soon as space travel is possible, I’m moving from the Milky Way to the Soymilky Way galaxy

I’m galactose intolerant

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BillowyWave5228
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
🚨︎ report
In a galaxy far far away

A rebel pilot and an imperial pilot had a race around the deathstar to see who had the faster ship. It was a tie!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spbslinky
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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I’d rate this galaxy one star
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Electrokid08
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone asked me to rate this galaxy

I said β€œone star”

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Electrokid08
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
If you are a bouncer at a Samsung’s, does that make you a guardian of the galaxy
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HodeYourBalls
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Douglas Adams finished writing the first chapter of A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

He thought, β€œFinally! I put A Dent in that book!”

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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What kind of galaxy would Shakespeare live in?

A bard spiral.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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I'd like to send this pun to a different Galaxy
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
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Who is guardian of the galaxy?

The security guard at a Samsung store

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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In a galaxy far far away, who released the greatest rap album of all time?

2-Pacca

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BarryJertheim
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2016
🚨︎ report
Watching "Guardians of the Galaxy" with dad

Me: Huh, I forgot James Gunn directed this.

Dad: Yeah, the studio decided they'd give him a shot.

Me: ...thanks, dad.

Dad: Hey, I thought about it, and decided to pull the trigger.

πŸ‘︎ 623
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PlayTheBanjo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2014
🚨︎ report
These are note your average puns. Samsung makes a 4 minute ad about their new Galaxy Note 4. And they did note make fun of a single other phone androidauthority.com/note…
πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kintamanate
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2014
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Samsung refuses to unfold the reasons behind broken Galaxy Fold

Because they shouldn’t be unveiled

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MogolianShrimp
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
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Why didn’t the galaxy move out of the universe?

Because there was no space

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MansSad
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
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From The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

β€œYou know,” said Arthur, β€œit’s at times like this, when I’m trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I’d listened to what my mother told me when I was young.” β€œWhy, what did she tell you?” β€œI don’t know, I didn’t listen.”

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/user120300
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2018
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Why did the lactose-intolerant leave this galaxy?

They are allergic to the milky way

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/le_petit_nihilist
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
🚨︎ report
If I’m out in space, and I crush up fruits, vegetables, berries etc to be thrown into the galaxy, would that be considered a space jam? reddit.com/r/teenagers/co…
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theangelsspark
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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How can people that are lactose intolerant survive in our Milky Way Galaxy? reddit.com/r/shittyasksci…
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ragu7080
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
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I just found out the galaxy's universal currency.

Starbucks.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bonanza86
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2018
🚨︎ report
So i was talking to my dad about guardians of the galaxy and when i mentioned Chris Pratt my dad sighs and says...

I dont know how parents can be mean enough to name their child after a fried rodent.. and i just sat there looking at him confused until he whispered...... "crisp rat"

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordDobbington
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2018
🚨︎ report
My dad went to see Guardians of the Galaxy 2...

Me: How was the movie? My dad: It was Groot.

πŸ‘︎ 117
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πŸ‘€︎ u/camelopardalisx
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2017
🚨︎ report
How do you make the best party in the galaxy?

Planet

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/314Piepurr
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2017
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A man broadcast himself reciting a single line of Shakespeare to various galaxies beyond our own.

The man’s performance was universal.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Carter16891
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call the metric unit for galaxies?

An andrometer

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kenreal
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2017
🚨︎ report
The Samsung galaxy note 8 didn't do well in his new movie.

It felt like he was phoning it in. Overblown expectations seemed to be the case.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DubstepCharlie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2017
🚨︎ report
"Gee, I've always wanted to see the Milky Way Galaxy-" "Um, I can't go to the Milky Way Galaxy... I'm lactose intolerant."
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Princess_Ember
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2016
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My dad bought the new Galaxy S5 and asked me to show him how to use it

I'm walking him through the steps of how to access the essentials and tell him, "now go to where it says 'Apps'".

He put the phone up to his ear and responds, "well, it's not saying anything!"

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chornu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2014
🚨︎ report
Idea for the next Star Trek TV show: back to classic Trek. The newest Enterprise, exploring the galaxy. Twist: it's crewed entirely by aliens

Star Trek: the Mex Generation

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2016
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"I heard there was a waterproof phone. One of the galaxies, I think."

"Was it the Galaxy C minus?"

"What? No, why?"

"Because it's under a C"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LoneSeeker777
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2016
🚨︎ report
Girlfriend got me during Guardians of the Galaxy

Talk about the alien race called the kree

Me: The Kree were on the agents of shield tv show

Gf: That's Kree-zy

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MattAzrael
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2014
🚨︎ report
Going to see Guardians of the Galaxy...

me: Are we using your car or my car?

dad: I don't know. Why?

me: Just wondering.

dad: makes a little smirk Well don't wander off too far...

I usually facepalm a few seconds after I say "wondering".

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowww2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2014
🚨︎ report

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