Captain Pun
There was a captain that was roused from his cabin by a commotion on his ship.
He ran out and yelled “Whats going on?!"
His first mate replied “We Have Octopuses on the poop deck, captain!”
The Captain looked around as a few squid scurried around the deck and said “Inform the passengers that our arrival to shore will be delayed due to... tentacle difficulties."
Captain America at his best
What did Bones say to Captain Kirk at the river crossing?
Dam it, Jim
(Be gentle it’s my cake day)
Where did Captain Hook buy his hook?
Where does Captain Hook buy his hooks ?
Where does captain hook get good deals on used prosthetics?
Why didnt Captain America lift Thor’s hammer untill he needed to?
He didn’t want to steal his thunder
Should we give Captain America's fight technique a name. I have one.
How many ears do Star Trek captains have?
3
A left ear.
A right ear.
And a final frontier
Captain America doesn’t even call them Freedom Fries.
I have a friend who is obsessed with the Scarlett Witch, Captain Marvel, and Black Widow.
I guess you can say he's a heroine addict.
What is Captain Morgan’s fav board game to play with his family?
Cut the potatoes into penis shapes and fill your boat with them. Now you are the captain of a ...
The first thing I’ll say if Captain James Hook ever get hit by a truck is
“You ain’t seeing half of the insurance money”
Captain America humour be like
What's a pirate captain to do during quarantine?
Cleaning their YAAAAAARGHD
I'm a sea captain, my crew was goofing off at the back of the ship...
... I had to give them a stern warning.
The captain wanted all sailors of German descent to come out onto the top ship platform and line up...
Why was the captain of the USS Roosevelt relieved of command?
What did Captain Ahab say when Moby Dick pooped on him?
Captain! Are we going off course!?
What do you say to a pirate captain that doesn’t need an eye patch?
When Captain Hook was running away from the ticking alligator..
It must have been very time consuming!
Captain America got point
An excellent sea captain is...
Why did the submarine captain keep a barrel of potatoes in his room?
There was nothing in the world he loved more than eyes.
I just found out where Captain Hook got its hook
He got it from a second-hand store
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
They found the murderer of Captain Crunch.
What kind of card does a sea captain get when he is in the hospital?
Why don’t Captain America and Dr. Strange respect each other?
Because there’s no honor amongst Steves.
Captain Hook probably bought his hook from a second hand store
What is Captain Hook's favourite store?
Why did Captain Kirk flush the brand new toilet?
Remember how Red Skull was being consumed by fire in the end of Captain America
Guess you could say he needed a fire HYDRAnt
Where did Captain Hook purchase his hook?
"Move t'ward the rudder, matey!" The captain yelled.
"Aye aye, cap'n," the first mate said as he gave him astern look.
Talking about Peter Pan when my 14 y/o daughter says, "Captain Hook is single-handedly my favorite Disney villain."
Captain Hook was into sustainability,
that’s why he bought his hook from a second hand store.
If Falcon becomes Captain America
Does he become Captain Falcon?
How many ears does Captain Kirk have?
Three: the left ear, the right ear, and the final frontier.
What do you get when you cross Captain America with the Incredible Hulk?
The Star-Spangled Banner.
"This is your captain speaking"
"AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING."
since captain rogers retired after endgame, he's no longer a super soldier
Why was Captain Hook such a bad swordsman?
He lost all his first hand experience.
Where did Captain Hook get his hook?
What’s Captain Crunch’s favorite exercise?
Captain Crunch is a pirate
So he has probably killed people
Making him a Cereal Killer
Where does captain hook go for replacements....
A Saudi Arabian captain was warming up his ships engines before heading out on patrol, when the religion police came and arrested him and his crew...
They were charged with "Idle Warship".
What do you call a ship captain with a big booty?
A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly. "Captain," one of the passenger asks, "who is that man over there?"
"I have no idea," the captain says, "but he goes nuts every year when we pass him."
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
What do you get when you cross captain America and the hulk?
How many ears does Captain Kirk have?
3! The left ear, the right ear, and his final front-ear.
🖖
A young-looking sea captain comes on deck to greet his crew for the first time and one man blurted out by accident, "He's a baby!"
The captain responded, "No shit, I used to be a seaman."
Makes me sad that Captain Hook never made it to Admiral
People only trust high ranking navy sailors. for instance there's Captain Morgan rum, Captain crunch cereal.... You never see seamen crunch!
What did the dyslexic Captain say when he tried to teach his crew how to sing?
Today I finished off a box of Cheerios at breakfast, a box of Lucky Charms at lunch, and a box of Captain Crunch at dinner.
I’m a real cereal killer.
I need help! I am co-captain of a team to raise money for cancer. My team needs a name. I need to mix some element of cancer with Alice in Wonderland. I need a pun, and I figured this subreddit is the best place to go. Thanks
Captain Kirk finally came up with a name for his invention: a cross between a hose nozzle, a spoon, and a fork.
He called it Mister Spork.
Why was Captain Crunch in jail?
Because he was a cereal killer.
This is your captain speaking.
THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN YELLING.
When Captain Marvel goes to the bathroom it's creepy.
Captain Hook bought his prosthetic limb at a second hand store.
I think Stan Lee’s cameo in Captain America Civil War was...
How do you get ahold of Captain Crunch?
(X post) An artillery captain was made a saint by the Catholic Church.
One could say he was cannonized,
Timmy the tugboat captain would never forgive his peers after they would steal barge-moving jobs from him.
He definitely harbored a grudge.
Ensign: Captain Picard, can our relationship be something more than just Captain and Ensign?
Where did the captain keep his buccaneers?
A merchant approached the captain of a SWAT team about upgrading their riot shields...
The captain replied, "Finally! A purchase I can get behind!"
Pirate Crewmember: “THE CANNONS BE READY, CAPTAIN!”
What did the captain say to the happy pirate?
Why did the captain hate his boat's anchor?
Where did captain hook buy his hook
Where did Captain Hook get his hook?
From the second hand store.
Where did Captain Hook get his hook?
From the second hand store
Where did Captain Hook get his hook?
This is your captain speaking. AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING!!!
Where did Captain Hook get his hook?
What do you get when you cross Captain America with the Hulk?
The Star Spangled Banner.
This is your captain speaking:
THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING
Did you know that Captain Kirk has three ears?
A left ear, a right ear, and a final frontier.
Where does Captain Hook go for Replacements?
How many ears does Captain Kirk have?
3: a left ear, a right ear, and a final frontier.
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