There was a captain that was roused from his cabin by a commotion on his ship.
He ran out and yelled “Whats going on?!"
His first mate replied “We Have Octopuses on the poop deck, captain!”
The Captain looked around as a few squid scurried around the deck and said “Inform the passengers that our arrival to shore will be delayed due to... tentacle difficulties."
A sea captain hunted for his white whale for decades. When he finally came upon it, a storm roared to life and began to toss his ship to and fro. A cannon came loose and crushed his leg.
He got the whale, and left behind a legacy.
((Work in progress. Just came to me during a conversation over a game of cards. Feedback welcome.))
The second-hand store.
He heard they were there to shoot a pilot
Crew: I I Caprain.
>!The second hand store.!<
Just Klingon, I’ll go get help!
“We lost a lot of doubloons.”
"I can keep this up all night"
she'd be Debris Larson.
The obstetrician came to the bridge, squinted into the night and said:
"Congratulations, Captain. It's a buoy!"
He was cap-sized.
Oh sorry, wrong sub
Pirate replied, “arghh, it’s driving me nuts”.
They both fight Klingons around Uranus.
Weigh more than needed
Dam it, Jim (Be gentle it’s my cake day)
The crew came to him and said:
"We be ready for the voyage, cap'n!" "Arrr! It's 'we ARE ready for the voyage,' ye scallywags!"
Because they live in da Nile.
Once upon a time there was a pirate captain who was the most amazing best captain a crew could ever ask for. His crew loved him more than anything and would do absolutely anything for him.
One day as they were sailing, a crew member In the crows nest shouts, “one ship off the port side!” Immediately the captain yells at his crew, “Men! Bring me my red shirt!”
Slightly confused, the men hesitate for a second and then hurry off to bring the captain his red shirt. Amazingly they win the battle!
The men are so happy and thankful their captain brought them safely through the battle they don’t even care why the captain wanted his red shirt.
A few months of sailing some more, again the man in the crows nest yells, “Two ships off the port side!” Quickly the captain screams, “Men! Bring me my red shirt!” The crew doesn’t hesitate this time to get him his red shirt and what do you know? They win this battle too!!
The crew is astounded at their captains awesomeness!!! They honestly could not find anyone better. This time though the crew stops a moment and asks the captain, “Why do you always have us bring you your red shirt?”
The captain replies, “Well men, if I get stabbed the blood will blend into my red shirt and it will look like I’m not hurt so that you will all fight as hard as if I were still alive.”
The men can’t believe what they hear! How could they be so lucky as to have a captain so incredibly smart and courageous??!!
Two seconds later, “TWENTY SEVEN SHIPS OFF THE PORT SIDE!!!!!!!”
Calmly, with an even tone, the captain says, “Men, bring me my brown pants.”
At the second hand store
He didn’t want to steal his thunder
A left ear.
A right ear.
And a final frontier
I guess you can say he's a heroine addict.
“You ain’t seeing half of the insurance money”
Cleaning their YAAAAAARGHD
... I had to give them a stern warning.
It must have been very time consuming!
The Navy hates leaks.
At a second hand shop.
From the secondhand store!
She was played by Debris Larson.
At the second hand store
He got it from a second-hand store