Sea Captain

A sea captain hunted for his white whale for decades. When he finally came upon it, a storm roared to life and began to toss his ship to and fro. A cannon came loose and crushed his leg.

He got the whale, and left behind a legacy.

((Work in progress. Just came to me during a conversation over a game of cards. Feedback welcome.))

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👤︎ u/TheCVisNih
📅︎ Jan 09 2021
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Did you hear about the sea captain that went in for a hat fitting at the local haberdashery during rough seas?

He was cap-sized.

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📅︎ Nov 12 2020
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An excellent sea captain is...

... admirable.

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👤︎ u/Sir_Pluses
📅︎ Mar 11 2020
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I'm a sea captain, my crew was goofing off at the back of the ship...

... I had to give them a stern warning.

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📅︎ Apr 04 2020
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What kind of card does a sea captain get when he is in the hospital?

Get whale soon

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📅︎ Feb 24 2020
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What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?

A boatee. ^its ^like ^goatee ^but ^boat. ^^yay ^^nautical ^^humour

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📅︎ Nov 22 2016
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Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?

It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution

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👤︎ u/TheCovarr
📅︎ Oct 29 2019
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What are bald sea captains most worried about?

Cap Sizes.

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👤︎ u/HalpTheFan
📅︎ Dec 11 2017
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A young-looking sea captain comes on deck to greet his crew for the first time and one man blurted out by accident, "He's a baby!"

The captain responded, "No shit, I used to be a seaman."

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👤︎ u/blekais
📅︎ Sep 10 2019
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What happened when Pirate Captain Bluebeard fell into the Red Sea?

He got marooned!

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📅︎ Sep 19 2017
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Sea captains, sailors, and coffee.

Sea captains are nautty, sailors are knotty, coffee is not tea.

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📅︎ Nov 24 2013
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Why couldn't the sailor play cards?

The captain was standing on the deck!

👍︎ 7k
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👤︎ u/BlankXCIV
📅︎ Feb 15 2020
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What is a pirates favourite musical note?

The high C.

👍︎ 7k
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📅︎ Nov 02 2018
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The Wong and White wedding

While in high school, Dana White met and fell in love with David Wong. After a few months the couple decided to get married. Dana insisted on getting married at sunset on the ocean on a yacht. The big day finally arrived and both families joined together to head out for the wedding. The captain of the yacht, checked the weather and saw a storm brewing. He advised the party it was not safe to travel out, but Dana and David both insisted they were going to get married on the ocean at sunset, so everyone loaded up and the boat departed. Sure enough just as the captain was performing the ceremony the storm hit, and the boat capsized killing everyone aboard. The next day the head of the the NTSB, Mr. Perry made this statement. It was a stormy night. So many Wong's and Whites. Neither would change their headstrong ways. The sea was in a rage. The captain turned the page. Their dying wasn't worth what they paid.

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📅︎ Jun 29 2018
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The story of Captain Bravado

A long time ago, a pirate, named Captain Bravado, was sailing the sea with his fellow pirate friends.

One day, as he was sailing the sea, an enemy ship approched. His crew was really nervous.

He said: "Bring me my red shirt!"

The first man who heard the order got him his red shirt. They went to war and killed all the enemy pirates. That night, his crew asked why he wanted a red shirt.

He said: "If I had been hit during the fight, you wouldn't have seen my blood."

All his men were looking at him with admiration. The next day, at dawn, 10 ships approched Captain Bravado's vessel. His men were horrified. They were waiting for his order.

He said: "Bring me my brown pants !"

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📅︎ Dec 12 2018
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