Captain Pun
There was a captain that was roused from his cabin by a commotion on his ship.
He ran out and yelled “Whats going on?!"
His first mate replied “We Have Octopuses on the poop deck, captain!”
The Captain looked around as a few squid scurried around the deck and said “Inform the passengers that our arrival to shore will be delayed due to... tentacle difficulties."
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Why did Captain Obvious have a child?
So that he would be apparent.
where did captain hook get his hook?
I told my ex-wife she should become a boat captain...
She's so good at dealing with loads of semen
I had a glass statue of Captain Kirk. My dog ran by and knocked it over and it broke.
How many ears does Captain Kirk have?
- This left ear, his right ear, and space, the final frontier.
I think the Incredible Hulk should have been the new Captain America.
Because he could be called the Star Spangled Banner.
I think Rick Astley should've been the captain of the ship
He wouldn't have Ever Given up.
What’s Captain Hook’s least favorite App?
What did the Captain of the Evergreen Cargo ship say when he realised he'd messed up?
My wife was a captain in the Army Reserve. She told me she had a promotion and asked me to attend the ceremony. I don’t know much about the Army,
...but I understand this promotion was a major ordeal.
I've been dating a girl who is captain of her soccer team
What did the captain of the Ever Given say when the ship ran aground?
William Shatner, Star Trek’s Captain Kirk, is said to be extremely disappointed after the collapse of his recently launched women’s underwear business...
Apparently, nobody was interested in buying ‘Shatner Panties’.
What did the pig captain of the ship say before leaving port?
Our captain is a terrible tour guide
He’s always telling people to come on bored
If Captain America was a weaboo.
Captain Kirks wife has just opened a new lingerie shop.
Its called Shatner Knickers.
Why didn't the captain of the Titanic think to melt the iceberg?
Captain Hook was upset about the cost of his ear piercings.
But it was only a buck an ear.
Sea Captain
A sea captain hunted for his white whale for decades. When he finally came upon it, a storm roared to life and began to toss his ship to and fro. A cannon came loose and crushed his leg.
He got the whale, and left behind a legacy.
((Work in progress. Just came to me during a conversation over a game of cards. Feedback welcome.))
The Captain of our flight called the cops when he saw a film crew
He heard they were there to shoot a pilot
What did Captain Kirk say to Spock as he was hanging off a cliff?
Just Klingon, I’ll go get help!
Somebody get the Captain! There’s been a hull breach! We’re going down!
While sailing across the ocean, the night watchman saw a dark shape in the distance. He called the First Mate, who also couldn't tell what it was. So he called the Captain. "I can't tell either," he said. "Fetch me an obstetrician."
The obstetrician came to the bridge, squinted into the night and said:
"Congratulations, Captain. It's a buoy!"
Captain America at his best
A pirate wanted to celebrate his captain’s birthday, so he bought a large quantity of balloons while ashore. Back on the ship, he walked over to hand the balloons to the captain, but he tripped and most of them floated away. The captain said, “Arrr! That was a costly mistake...”
“We lost a lot of doubloons.”
What did Captain America say to his wife after taking Viagra?
"I can keep this up all night"
Where was the captain sent after he hit another ship?
Did you hear about the sea captain that went in for a hat fitting at the local haberdashery during rough seas?
Pirate goes to doctor to have groin pain checked. Dr. looks down pirates pants and says, “you have a captain’s steering wheel in your pants.”
Pirate replied, “arghh, it’s driving me nuts”.
If Captain Marvel got snapped by Thanos...
What did Bones say to Captain Kirk at the river crossing?
Dam it, Jim
(Be gentle it’s my cake day)
Pirate Ship Captain: I am desperate. Can someone tell me how to write the number 2 in Roman numerals?
Where did Captain Hook get his hook?
He got it at a second hand store...
Where did Captain Hook purchase his hook...
How many ears does Captain Kirk have?
Three: the left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear.
Where did Captain Hook buy his hook?
Where did Captain Hook get his hook?
Where does captain hook like to shop?
Where did Captain Hook buy his hook?
>!The second hand store.!<
Ship Captain: Guys, I need help. I don’t remember how to write 2 in Roman numerals.
Captain Marvel got snapped by Thanos.
She was played by Debris Larson.
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