I used to be the triangle player in a Jamaican band but I had to quit....

It was always just one ting after another.

Edit: Thanks for all the positive reactions to this joke. I’m glad I could make a few of you chuckle today.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThroneDiscs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why shouldn't you date tennis players?

Because love means nothing to them

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Henboi2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Why are Pokemon players considered naughty?

Because they always want a pikachu.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tacosnarf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
A football player goes to the doctor and says "It hurts whenever I touch my face, knee and elbow." The doctor says,

"You've broken your hand."

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timthedriller
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Personally, though I enjoy the sport, I could never date a tennis player.

Love means nothing to them.

πŸ‘︎ 137
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SydneyCartonLived
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Did this painting for my friend (far right) who is a huge Pittsburgh steelers fan. His favorite player is Troy Polamalu... And he likes puns. That's me in the middle.l in my favorite jumper. Thoughts??? reddit.com/gallery/kkbp9y
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smike1981
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a hockey player that raps?

Tupuc

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/prophetshuldham
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do saxophone players get so many dates?

Because they have sax appeal 🎷

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FerrousDerrius
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the baseball player who can spot a fast food restaurant from miles away?

He leads the league in Arby eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do British chess players always win?

Because their queen never dies

πŸ‘︎ 69
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the baseball player say when the flight attendant asked what seat he was in?

Put me in coach.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KinkyWaluigi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Who will be the next baseball player inducted into the Hall of Fame?

Naturally

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-Masderus-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the most dangerous group of instrument players?

Violins

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlockyShapes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
The greatest baseball player ever was a guy named Hugh McBealy, and he was most famous for every single time he came to the plate knocking the ball high over right field and into the stands.

He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.

He earned the nickname β€œthe machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.

And the day he retired a reporter asked him β€œHow does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”

Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. β€œWhat do you mean?” He said.

The reporter clarified β€œliterally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”

Hugh looked dejected and disappointed β€œyeah, my greatest failure...”

β€œWhat do you mean?” Said the reporter incredulously.

Hugh let’s out a long sigh, and looked down at the ground quietly for a moment before finally speaking.

β€œI’ve been aiming left this whole time”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frnklfrwsr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
A hockey player collided with another player on the ice and knocked out a few of his teeth.

However it was acci-dental.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
NFL players are greedy.

They’re always trying to get the quarterback.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do piano players wear glasses?

Cause they can't c#.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Inditorias
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do blm protestors and cod players have in common?

They both hate people who use riot shields

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joemama16839301
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend used to clean house for a famous singer-guitar player, til he died in 2016. She then became a police investigator...

She dusted for Prince now she's dusting for prints.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are percussion players so popular?

They know how to drum up support.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bingomzan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.

I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iambaney
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the chess player worried towards the end of his meal in a restaurant?

Because the waiter said, "CHECK?"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmanMegha2909
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I feel sorry for basketball players who can't go on vacation

Because they can't Travel.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deadsea29
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Anyone heard of that basketball player... Druff or something?

I think his first name is Dan.

They say he’s Head & Shoulders above the competition...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bjangles9
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Barcelona players not gonna eat anything till morning

Because they 8-2 much

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xdrjpt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Tennis player Sampras needed rice wine and sent me to buy a bottle without giving me cash...

For Pete's sake, I guess he wants me to pay for it myself!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
According to the new rules this year, NFL players are no longer allowed to have a chicken as a pet.

It’s considered to be a personal fowl.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are NFL players going to sweat more this year?

Because there will be no fans at games.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rudy102600
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Friend: How'd you know my favorite basketball player was Dirk Nowitski?

Me: I took a stab in the Dirk

Friend: Oh God nooooo!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/savedbytheb3l1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the baseball player that is also a hacker?

They've been hitting everyone with their.bat

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/saf_sy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a rugby player who took doping to gain an edge against his opponents?

A drugby player

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NicolasReadsStuff
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
The bass player of Red Hot Chili Peppers opened a second hand store

They're calling it the Flea Market

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the poker player who lost his arm and got a prosthetic replacement?

He's finding it hard to deal with.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
An NBA player was penalized for spraying cologne on a chicken.

It was a fragrant fowl.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
People who do Origami make terrible poker players...

They always fold.

πŸ‘︎ 108
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kahnvoy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the lonely chess player go to Czechoslovakia?

Because he wanted a Czech mate!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sweet_chick283
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
If Microsoft made a music player what would it’s name be.

Doesn’t matter. It’ll be gone too Zune.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/not_flexy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Who’s the best basketball player in a galaxy far far away?

Obi wan Kobe

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sid-16
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
When Adobe decides to finally end Flash Player, they’ll actually be building something new!

They’ll be breaking newgrounds!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dougmantis
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend Tim the basketball player is so stubborn!

He's always doing things the Hardaway

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FullSass
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Who is the world's best, but un-tidiest, football player?

Messi

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndrewMacSydney
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the sassy pinball player?

She was very flippant.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Never fall for a tennis player.

Love means nothing to them.

πŸ‘︎ 215
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sisrael81
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Never date a tennis player

Love means nothing to them

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do tennis players have a high divorce rate?

Love means nothing to them

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report

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