I used to be the triangle player in a Jamaican band but I had to quit....

It was always just one ting after another.

Edit: Thanks for all the positive reactions to this joke. I’m glad I could make a few of you chuckle today.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ThroneDiscs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why shouldn't you date tennis players?

Because love means nothing to them

πŸ‘οΈŽ 70
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Henboi2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 19 2021
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Why are Pokemon players considered naughty?

Because they always want a pikachu.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tacosnarf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 22 2021
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A football player goes to the doctor and says "It hurts whenever I touch my face, knee and elbow." The doctor says,

"You've broken your hand."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/timthedriller
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2020
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Personally, though I enjoy the sport, I could never date a tennis player.

Love means nothing to them.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 137
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SydneyCartonLived
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 23 2020
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Did this painting for my friend (far right) who is a huge Pittsburgh steelers fan. His favorite player is Troy Polamalu... And he likes puns. That's me in the middle.l in my favorite jumper. Thoughts??? reddit.com/gallery/kkbp9y
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/smike1981
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 26 2020
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What do you call a hockey player that raps?

Tupuc

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/prophetshuldham
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 19 2021
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Why do saxophone players get so many dates?

Because they have sax appeal 🎷

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FerrousDerrius
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 16 2020
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Did you hear about the baseball player who can spot a fast food restaurant from miles away?

He leads the league in Arby eyes.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 04 2021
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Why do British chess players always win?

Because their queen never dies

πŸ‘οΈŽ 69
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/berkel-is-a-madlad
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 23 2020
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What did the baseball player say when the flight attendant asked what seat he was in?

Put me in coach.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KinkyWaluigi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 25 2020
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Who will be the next baseball player inducted into the Hall of Fame?

Naturally

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/-Masderus-
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the most dangerous group of instrument players?

Violins

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BlockyShapes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 11 2020
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The greatest baseball player ever was a guy named Hugh McBealy, and he was most famous for every single time he came to the plate knocking the ball high over right field and into the stands.

He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.

He earned the nickname β€œthe machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.

And the day he retired a reporter asked him β€œHow does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”

Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. β€œWhat do you mean?” He said.

The reporter clarified β€œliterally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”

Hugh looked dejected and disappointed β€œyeah, my greatest failure...”

β€œWhat do you mean?” Said the reporter incredulously.

Hugh let’s out a long sigh, and looked down at the ground quietly for a moment before finally speaking.

β€œI’ve been aiming left this whole time”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Frnklfrwsr
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 12 2020
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A hockey player collided with another player on the ice and knocked out a few of his teeth.

However it was acci-dental.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 06 2020
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NFL players are greedy.

They’re always trying to get the quarterback.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 16 2020
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Why do piano players wear glasses?

Cause they can't c#.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Inditorias
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 16 2020
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What do blm protestors and cod players have in common?

They both hate people who use riot shields

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/joemama16839301
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01 2020
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My friend used to clean house for a famous singer-guitar player, til he died in 2016. She then became a police investigator...

She dusted for Prince now she's dusting for prints.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 13 2020
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Why are percussion players so popular?

They know how to drum up support.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bingomzan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 12 2020
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Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.

I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/iambaney
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 15 2020
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Why did the chess player worried towards the end of his meal in a restaurant?

Because the waiter said, "CHECK?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AmanMegha2909
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 06 2020
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I feel sorry for basketball players who can't go on vacation

Because they can't Travel.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/deadsea29
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 14 2020
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Anyone heard of that basketball player... Druff or something?

I think his first name is Dan.

They say he’s Head & Shoulders above the competition...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bjangles9
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 16 2020
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Barcelona players not gonna eat anything till morning

Because they 8-2 much

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/xdrjpt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 14 2020
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Tennis player Sampras needed rice wine and sent me to buy a bottle without giving me cash...

For Pete's sake, I guess he wants me to pay for it myself!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 29 2020
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According to the new rules this year, NFL players are no longer allowed to have a chicken as a pet.

It’s considered to be a personal fowl.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 11 2020
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Why are NFL players going to sweat more this year?

Because there will be no fans at games.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rudy102600
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 05 2020
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Friend: How'd you know my favorite basketball player was Dirk Nowitski?

Me: I took a stab in the Dirk

Friend: Oh God nooooo!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/savedbytheb3l1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 17 2020
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Did you hear about the baseball player that is also a hacker?

They've been hitting everyone with their.bat

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/saf_sy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 04 2020
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What do you call a rugby player who took doping to gain an edge against his opponents?

A drugby player

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NicolasReadsStuff
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 20 2020
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The bass player of Red Hot Chili Peppers opened a second hand store

They're calling it the Flea Market

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TacticalAvocado222
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the poker player who lost his arm and got a prosthetic replacement?

He's finding it hard to deal with.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 03 2020
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An NBA player was penalized for spraying cologne on a chicken.

It was a fragrant fowl.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
People who do Origami make terrible poker players...

They always fold.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 108
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kahnvoy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the lonely chess player go to Czechoslovakia?

Because he wanted a Czech mate!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sweet_chick283
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 07 2020
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If Microsoft made a music player what would it’s name be.

Doesn’t matter. It’ll be gone too Zune.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/not_flexy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Who’s the best basketball player in a galaxy far far away?

Obi wan Kobe

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sid-16
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
When Adobe decides to finally end Flash Player, they’ll actually be building something new!

They’ll be breaking newgrounds!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dougmantis
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 15 2020
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My friend Tim the basketball player is so stubborn!

He's always doing things the Hardaway

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FullSass
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Who is the world's best, but un-tidiest, football player?

Messi

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AndrewMacSydney
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the sassy pinball player?

She was very flippant.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Never fall for a tennis player.

Love means nothing to them.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 215
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sisrael81
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Never date a tennis player

Love means nothing to them

πŸ‘οΈŽ 56
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fuckinsmackinatree
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do tennis players have a high divorce rate?

Love means nothing to them

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 28 2020
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