I told my friend I was going to rob a toy store for some board games
He said I could go to jail for it. I said it was a Risk worth taking
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jan 19 2021
Did you hear that less toys have been made this year in Santaβs workshop?
Many of his workers had to Elf Isolate.
π︎ 24
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︎ Dec 18 2020
What do you call a tinker toy that someone farted on?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
I heard that Santaβs workers donβt like to share their toys.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
My son got a new toy car, the Toyota SHOEpra...
π︎ 19
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︎ Oct 17 2020
What is Pinky's (of Pinky and the Brain) favorite toy?
π︎ 11
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︎ Nov 29 2020
Why didnβt the baby shrimp want to share his toys?
He was a little shellfish.
π︎ 5
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︎ Nov 04 2020
Whatβs a rappers favourite toy?
π︎ 13
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︎ Oct 31 2020
I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage, son.
You'll need something to play with.
π︎ 9
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︎ Oct 16 2020
I got a job at a factory that makes Dracula toys
Its only me and one other worker. I need to make every second Count
π︎ 138
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︎ Jun 29 2020
I got my kid a toy of a surrealist painter
Itβs her Salvador dolly.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 16 2020
Next level "toy yoda"
π︎ 36
π
︎ Jun 12 2020
Santa got Coronavirus this year so Mrs Claus had to take over toy production, orders, and present deliveries.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 01 2020
Why don't toy swords hurt?
They're only hokey pokey!
π︎ 2
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︎ Sep 30 2020
Why are plush toys never hungry?
π︎ 13
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︎ Jun 26 2020
Since this is a βNanaβ tree (common name for Juniperus Procumens Green Mountain Juniper bonsai), it was suggested I have a βbaβ. Therefore, since the stock ticker for Boeing is BA, I bought a toy 787. That means there is now a βbananaβ on the counter.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jul 30 2020
My wife took my toy boat away.
She told me to quit playing with my dinghy.
π︎ 8
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︎ Sep 08 2020
My wife bought all these dog toys, but Scooter here isnβt quite sure what heβs supposed to do.
π︎ 25
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︎ Jun 21 2020
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isnβt the worst thing that happened to me today.
But itβs definitely up there.
π︎ 9k
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︎ Oct 17 2019
How do you say toy in Chinese?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 19 2020
What do you call a stationary shop that sells adult toys?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 17 2020
Balls have got to be one of the oldest toys.
Theyβve been βround a long time.
π︎ 87
π
︎ Apr 17 2020
My daughter asked where her toy Cryolophosaurus might be. I suggested...
"Maybe the Mesozoic Era?"
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 12 2020
My baby sister just threw a toy horse at me
I told her to hold her horses
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 26 2020
Son tied a fist toy to my fishing net
I dont get the punchline but he's smiling
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 11 2020
My kid wanted a Yoda toy.
I told him we already got Toyota
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 11 2020
What was the kitten diplomats favorite toy?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 11 2020
What temperature do you set a toy oven?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 04 2020
People think that my homemade toy business isn't very successful, but that's not true.
I'm making six figures a year
π︎ 8
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︎ Jun 14 2020
A father was reading a book while his son was playing with toys on the floor. βDaddy, why is that book so thick?β asks the boy.
βItβs long story,β replies the father.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 24 2020
I like making cardboard toys.
You can say I never get card-bored.
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 16 2020
Why did the second-rate toy plastic brick maker become obsessed?
Because he just couldnβt Lego.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Apr 23 2020
Whatβs a Boomers favorite toy?
π︎ 8
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︎ Apr 09 2020
My daughter came home from the toy store with a spherical Pixar fish toy. She asked me if I thought it was cute.
Cute? Itβs a Dory ball!
π︎ 14
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︎ Apr 29 2020
Why is it so difficult to sell a toy zebra
You can never find the barcode
π︎ 45
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︎ Feb 14 2020
My friend made shoes out of toy ships and planes.
When asked about it, he said he wanted to be fleet of foot.
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 03 2020
Why don't people, who constantly step on Plastic toy brick, just
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 19 2020
You know your uncle went to WWII with a toy gun
π︎ 56
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︎ Dec 16 2019
A man went into a toy store and ripped the arms off of every teddy bear in the store. Why did the judge let him go free?
He had the right to bear arms.
π︎ 24
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︎ Jan 04 2020
Thieves broke into a Toy store and stole all their board-games.
Police are currently looking for Clues.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Oct 23 2019
My German neighbor: Here are some old toy trucks your kids can play with.
π︎ 6
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︎ Feb 26 2020
I didnβt realize my dad used to steal board-games from the toy store.
But when I look back now, all the Clues added up.
π︎ 137
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︎ May 12 2019
βͺMy kidβs toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...β¬
βͺI hope this will not surface againβ¬
π︎ 6
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︎ Feb 01 2020
What do you call a drunk toy story character?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Dec 06 2019
What did the little shrimp told his mom when she asked him why he wouldn't share his toys ?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 08 2020
Getting my toy drone stuck in a tree hasnβt been the worst thing that happened to me today.
But itβs definitely up there.
π︎ 685
π
︎ Jun 26 2019
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