I told my friend I was going to rob a toy store for some board games

He said I could go to jail for it. I said it was a Risk worth taking

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that less toys have been made this year in Santa’s workshop?

Many of his workers had to Elf Isolate.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/trendfoll
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a tinker toy that someone farted on?

A stinker toy!!!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DJBlue18
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
I heard that Santa’s workers don’t like to share their toys.

They are very Elfish.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My son got a new toy car, the Toyota SHOEpra...
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BestServedColder
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What is Pinky's (of Pinky and the Brain) favorite toy?

NARF! Guns

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/heybuddy313
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn’t the baby shrimp want to share his toys?

He was a little shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s a rappers favourite toy?

A yo yo!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BeardedThug
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage, son.

You'll need something to play with.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Albus_Veritas
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I got a job at a factory that makes Dracula toys

Its only me and one other worker. I need to make every second Count

πŸ‘︎ 138
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chefrobbo65
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I got my kid a toy of a surrealist painter

It’s her Salvador dolly.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PercivalFailed
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Next level "toy yoda"
πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Koegn
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Santa got Coronavirus this year so Mrs Claus had to take over toy production, orders, and present deliveries.

Sleigh Queen

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/diceblue
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't toy swords hurt?

They're only hokey pokey!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jsradford
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are plush toys never hungry?
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/logicson
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Since this is a β€œNana” tree (common name for Juniperus Procumens Green Mountain Juniper bonsai), it was suggested I have a β€œba”. Therefore, since the stock ticker for Boeing is BA, I bought a toy 787. That means there is now a β€œbanana” on the counter.
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LaceyGayGuy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife took my toy boat away.

She told me to quit playing with my dinghy.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife bought all these dog toys, but Scooter here isn’t quite sure what he’s supposed to do.
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OverSpeedClutch
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.

But it’s definitely up there.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you say toy in Chinese?

Atoi

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kebebeb
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a stationary shop that sells adult toys?

Dictionary.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hang-me-im-guilty
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Balls have got to be one of the oldest toys.

They’ve been β€˜round a long time.

πŸ‘︎ 87
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTayloceraptor
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter asked where her toy Cryolophosaurus might be. I suggested...

"Maybe the Mesozoic Era?"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xRVAx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My baby sister just threw a toy horse at me

I told her to hold her horses

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SonOfDeath73351
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Son tied a fist toy to my fishing net

I dont get the punchline but he's smiling

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ferkeshu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My kid wanted a Yoda toy.

I told him we already got Toyota

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What was the kitten diplomats favorite toy?

The piece a cord.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RedditPowerUser01
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What temperature do you set a toy oven?

Faux hundred degrees.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/emjay144
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
People think that my homemade toy business isn't very successful, but that's not true.

I'm making six figures a year

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BraveLilCoaster
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
A father was reading a book while his son was playing with toys on the floor. β€œDaddy, why is that book so thick?” asks the boy.

β€œIt’s long story,” replies the father.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustinJSJ
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I like making cardboard toys.

You can say I never get card-bored.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOutcast06
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the second-rate toy plastic brick maker become obsessed?

Because he just couldn’t Lego.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joeChump
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s a Boomers favorite toy?

A Boomerang.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Switched_On_SNES
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter came home from the toy store with a spherical Pixar fish toy. She asked me if I thought it was cute.

Cute? It’s a Dory ball!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shibarak
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is it so difficult to sell a toy zebra

You can never find the barcode

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Vico__Staps
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend made shoes out of toy ships and planes.

When asked about it, he said he wanted to be fleet of foot.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't people, who constantly step on Plastic toy brick, just

LEGO of the pain?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
You know your uncle went to WWII with a toy gun

He had nerfs of steel

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ramiel01
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
A man went into a toy store and ripped the arms off of every teddy bear in the store. Why did the judge let him go free?

He had the right to bear arms.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Roivas14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Thieves broke into a Toy store and stole all their board-games.

Police are currently looking for Clues.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My German neighbor: Here are some old toy trucks your kids can play with.

Me: Tonka Schoen

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I didn’t realize my dad used to steal board-games from the toy store.

But when I look back now, all the Clues added up.

πŸ‘︎ 137
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
🚨︎ report
β€ͺMy kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...‬

β€ͺI hope this will not surface again‬

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a drunk toy story character?

Bud lightyear

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZeCookieMunsta
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the little shrimp told his mom when she asked him why he wouldn't share his toys ?

I'm a little shellfish !

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Emily_Cap
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Getting my toy drone stuck in a tree hasn’t been the worst thing that happened to me today.

But it’s definitely up there.

πŸ‘︎ 685
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
🚨︎ report

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