Why did the record get mad talking to the record player?

Because every conversation they had went in circles.

👍︎ 18
💬︎
📅︎ May 26 2021
🚨︎ report
I bought a record player the other day, but it only plays Bach.

It would be nice if it played forward too.

👍︎ 15
💬︎
📅︎ May 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I was getting a record player down from a shelf and it dropped on my head!

But it didn't effect me

It didn't effect me

It didn't effect me

It didn't effect me

👍︎ 11
💬︎
👤︎ u/shdchko
📅︎ Jul 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Ever hear about the Australian baseball player that has the record for being walked the most times?

He had a good eye, mate

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Aug 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Tried to set a record for the world's fastest banjo player...

It turns out the banjo will really bring down your lap time.

https://youtu.be/Qi-qG-fd7jw

👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/_food
📅︎ Mar 25 2017
🚨︎ report
Puns for a character name

I'm currently building a war forged bard. He has a chest that acts as a record player and his left arm is the horn. I'm need of name pun brilliance!!

👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/Zonero174
📅︎ Feb 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Imagine, if you will, a futuristic dystopian society

In this society, companies and businesses are not legally allowed to give themselves a name. Instead, companies are ID's alphanumerically. The first businesses were Corporation A, Company B, Business C, ... Organization Z, Company A1, etc.

The world's current largest corporation is Company B. They're particularly known for their robotics manufacturing. One day, Company B had just finished the design for two new robots. One that would automatically play blues songs on a record player at the press of a button. (What we know today as a jukebox) The other was a companion robot for lonely people, modeled after a beagle.

Unfortunately, when the final version of these robots were being manufactured for a worldwide release, there was an error in the automated assembly line. This error caused the two robots to be built simultaneously, creating a single robot.

The resulting product came to be known as the Boogie Woogie Beagle Bot of Company B.

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Nov 14 2015
🚨︎ report
Twins

At my brothers hockey game with my Uncle, father of 2, who we are describing the players to.

"Then those two! They are twins, they're 12 and 18" - me

"Holy crap! I though my daughters had a long labor. That must be a record!" - Uncle

Collective sigh from people who weren't even involved in the conversation. Success.

👍︎ 8
💬︎
📅︎ Dec 13 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.