I used to be the triangle player in a Jamaican band but I had to quit....

It was always just one ting after another.

Edit: Thanks for all the positive reactions to this joke. I’m glad I could make a few of you chuckle today.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThroneDiscs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Personally, though I enjoy the sport, I could never date a tennis player.

Love means nothing to them.

πŸ‘︎ 138
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SydneyCartonLived
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do British chess players always win?

Because their queen never dies

πŸ‘︎ 69
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the most dangerous group of instrument players?

Violins

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlockyShapes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
The greatest baseball player ever was a guy named Hugh McBealy, and he was most famous for every single time he came to the plate knocking the ball high over right field and into the stands.

He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.

He earned the nickname β€œthe machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.

And the day he retired a reporter asked him β€œHow does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”

Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. β€œWhat do you mean?” He said.

The reporter clarified β€œliterally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”

Hugh looked dejected and disappointed β€œyeah, my greatest failure...”

β€œWhat do you mean?” Said the reporter incredulously.

Hugh let’s out a long sigh, and looked down at the ground quietly for a moment before finally speaking.

β€œI’ve been aiming left this whole time”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frnklfrwsr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Who will be the next baseball player inducted into the Hall of Fame?

Naturally

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-Masderus-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
NFL players are greedy.

They’re always trying to get the quarterback.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of guitar does a pool player play?

A cue stick guitar.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What do blm protestors and cod players have in common?

They both hate people who use riot shields

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joemama16839301
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do piano players wear glasses?

Cause they can't c#.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Inditorias
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend used to clean house for a famous singer-guitar player, til he died in 2016. She then became a police investigator...

She dusted for Prince now she's dusting for prints.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are percussion players so popular?

They know how to drum up support.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bingomzan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I feel sorry for basketball players who can't go on vacation

Because they can't Travel.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deadsea29
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.

I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iambaney
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the chess player worried towards the end of his meal in a restaurant?

Because the waiter said, "CHECK?"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmanMegha2909
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Anyone heard of that basketball player... Druff or something?

I think his first name is Dan.

They say he’s Head & Shoulders above the competition...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bjangles9
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Tennis player Sampras needed rice wine and sent me to buy a bottle without giving me cash...

For Pete's sake, I guess he wants me to pay for it myself!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Barcelona players not gonna eat anything till morning

Because they 8-2 much

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xdrjpt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
According to the new rules this year, NFL players are no longer allowed to have a chicken as a pet.

It’s considered to be a personal fowl.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad: "if you were a soccer player, what team would you be on?"

Son: "Hungary"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are NFL players going to sweat more this year?

Because there will be no fans at games.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rudy102600
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a rugby player who took doping to gain an edge against his opponents?

A drugby player

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NicolasReadsStuff
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the baseball player that is also a hacker?

They've been hitting everyone with their.bat

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saf_sy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Friend: How'd you know my favorite basketball player was Dirk Nowitski?

Me: I took a stab in the Dirk

Friend: Oh God nooooo!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/savedbytheb3l1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
The bass player of Red Hot Chili Peppers opened a second hand store

They're calling it the Flea Market

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
An NBA player was penalized for spraying cologne on a chicken.

It was a fragrant fowl.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the poker player who lost his arm and got a prosthetic replacement?

He's finding it hard to deal with.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
People who do Origami make terrible poker players...

They always fold.

πŸ‘︎ 111
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kahnvoy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
When Adobe decides to finally end Flash Player, they’ll actually be building something new!

They’ll be breaking newgrounds!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dougmantis
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the lonely chess player go to Czechoslovakia?

Because he wanted a Czech mate!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sweet_chick283
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
If Microsoft made a music player what would it’s name be.

Doesn’t matter. It’ll be gone too Zune.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/not_flexy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend Tim the basketball player is so stubborn!

He's always doing things the Hardaway

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FullSass
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Who’s the best basketball player in a galaxy far far away?

Obi wan Kobe

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sid-16
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do chess players have so many kids?

They are always mating

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KenzoEngineer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Who is the world's best, but un-tidiest, football player?

Messi

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AndrewMacSydney
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Slovak chess player who finaly found a wife?

She was his czechmate.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tekprojekt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do tennis players have a high divorce rate?

Love means nothing to them

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the sassy pinball player?

She was very flippant.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Australian chess player say after he finished his meal?

"Can I have the check, mate?"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Desunator
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
For the upcoming NFL season, players will not be allowed to keep chicken as pets.

That would be considered a personal fowl.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A player asked why I shut down the soccer game suddenly when his mother started cussing and yelling...

I replied, "ask your mom. The reason is a parent."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad was an organ player at basketball games, one time something got stuck on the organ and it made such a loud sound he sadly died.

The death was listed as β€œorgan failure”

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/benyou34
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother, the pro baseball pitcher, told me about the time he intentionally walked every player on the opposing team as a protest against unfairness in life...

That took a lot of balls.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Never fall for a tennis player.

Love means nothing to them.

πŸ‘︎ 213
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sisrael81
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
You should never date a tennis player

Love means nothing to them.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ALQaholic835
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Never date a tennis player

Love means nothing to them

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report

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