What do you call the chief of an ancient Amazonian tribe?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaimesBond
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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Did you hear what the New York Times editor-in-chief said on their last day?

"Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strawbalicious
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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The chief roadie for a touring band should be called its Gigs Bosun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spelelo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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A Viking explorer came home to find his name removed from the town register. When his wife complained, the chief apologized and said,

β€œI must have taken Lief off my census”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheeseheadDave
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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TIL: A thousand years ago, the boomerang was Australia’s chief export.

And import.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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Why did the Secretary of Defense and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff cross the road?

They were just following the chicken!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Colbosky
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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I saw the headline β€œTrump Attacks WHO chief Over Criticisms of U.S. Approach to Coronavirus” and thought...

What the hell did Pete Townshend do?!?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TreyBien875
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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TIL: A few hundred years ago, the boomerang was Australia’s chief export.

And import.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2018
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Local police chief with halloween gold
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sebnic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2013
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Charmander in Chief imgur.com/yralrGJ
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πŸ‘€︎ u/han_so_low
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2016
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My fire chief proved he was a dad when I bought a Jeep Compass

"I like your new Jeep, but it's broken." I look at him confused. "It's in the parking lot pointing west. Shouldn't Compasses always point north?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/krisphoto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2016
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The fire chief walks in on two firemen having sex

The chief yells, β€œwhat the hell are you guys doing”. The first fireman replies, β€œwhen I walked in he was out cold from the smoke”. The chief replies, β€œwhy didn’t you try mouth to mouth?” The second fireman looks back and yells, β€œhow do you think this started?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mattyx201
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
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[OC] A chief named Battle is scouting for fertile land with his son Attle

After a long and arduous hike, Attle is tired. "How much longer dad? Are you sure its is this way?"

"Son, trust me! Now stay close to me ok!"

Finally, Battle reaches a good viewpoint, and spots an island in the distance.

He excitedly yells: "Attle! Come on, hurry up, I think I found it".

Attle catches up to his dad. "Where is it?"

Battle points to the island, and says "Seattle"!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/baselganglia
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
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What did the Mexican fire chief name his twins?

JosΓ© and Hose-B

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1000Penguins
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2018
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Do you know why the Kansas City Chiefs' gameplan has been figured out?

It's because they're a one-Tyreek pony.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RichardArschmann
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2017
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What did the mexican fire chief name his two sons?

Hose A, and Hose B.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeowMixSong
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2015
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What did the Mexican fire chief name his two sons?

Jose and Hose B

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2017
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In the US, it's now politically incorrect to say the chief politician is correct.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Truth9147
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2017
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What did the Mexican fire chief name his two sons?

Jose and Hose-B

Source: "Everybody Loves Raymond"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/getkarthikmr
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2015
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What did the Hispanic fire chief names his two sons?

Hose A and Hose B

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πŸ‘€︎ u/freakinhuge
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2015
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To my chief

Backstory: I'm in the Navy and my chief needed a ride to pick up his car from the shop. First he needed to make a quick stop at the bank so he can pay for his car, though.

As he jumped out to head into the bank he said, "I'll be back" but said it like Arnold Schwarzenegger.

To which I replied, "Why not Mozart?"

Tl;dr My chief hates me now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TerrorEyzs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2014
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Hitler asked his chief meteorologist for the weather forecast.

"Hail, Hitler."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-rabid-
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2014
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Chief falling rock

I grew up in colorado and once we drove by a caution sign that read "falling rock" and my dad told us that chief falling rock was an native american chief and would attack cars with a club. The signs were there to mark the places he had attacked. Believed it for years.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skankinskier
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2013
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My dad was a mechanic and crew chief for a dirt track racing team...

When I helped him out in the shop:

Me: I think I put that bolt in the wrong hole.

Dad: Did it slap you?

Me: What?

Dad: Well, if it didn't slap you, then it wasn't in the wrong hole!


Bonus dad joke:

Me: What's for dinner?

Dad: Something with food in it.

(Every single night)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fire_marshall_ill
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2013
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