Supervisor
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beanztar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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Supervisor was talking about an Ethernet connection

I said it was needed to catch the etherbunny. He gave me a verbal warning... :/

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirDianthus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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Supervisor: Why do I always have to come looking for you?

Me: Because a good worker is hard to find.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
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How did the supervisor deal with the incompetent employees?

Eh, he managed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/signal2COYSratio
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
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this helmet has a supervisor
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kefuzzles
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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Who is captain crunches supervisor ?

GENERAL MILLS

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jediesel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2015
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My brother has a new supervisor and he keeps saying he's just a dick.

Well his name is probably just Richard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yerbdup
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
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Let me check with my supervisor.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LJlittle2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2014
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I told my supervisor I wanted to talk to the CEO about the herbs growing out of control

She didn't listen though. Just gave me Sage advice, and sent me the managemint instead. The thyme will come soon, I said

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
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Everyone in our company had to make due with three person volleyball teams at the company picnic. Everyone but the shop supervisors.

They had a foreman team.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Saith_Cassus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2015
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If Cyclops is the team leader, does that make him the supervisor?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Duthos
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2014
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Dad-joked my supervisor at my new job.

He was explaining how he didn't want to sell his apartment because the building it was in was really solid;

Him: "It's just really sturdy. It has no faults, you know. It has no flaws"

Me: "NO FLOORS?! THEN WHAT DO YOU STAND ON?!"

I then proceeded to slap my leg and laugh good and hard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrSamKing
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2015
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Dad joked my supervisor

I've been waiting so long to use this...

Me: Good morning, sir.

Supervisor: Morning, you're painting until sometime after noon. I need you to go pick up some parts for me.

Me: Sounds like a plan, Stan.

Supervisor: Funny guy... Okay, I'll call you later.

Me: Actually, you can just call me Tyler.

Supervisor didn't even crack a smile, but my life has been worth it now. β€ͺ#β€Ždadjokes‬

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Newdul1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2014
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Got my supervisor while at work today, I'm 17

I bought some wooden birds that one of the IT guys from Africa sells and I walk into my area to change into my work clothes.
My supervisor says to me, "You got a bird in your hand."
I say, "Yeah! It was worth 2 in a bush! ( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°)"
Supervisor: ΰ² _ΰ² 

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yellananner
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2014
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Subtle Supervisor Dadjoke

A coworker was talking about how a mistake he made almost cost him a whole hour of extra work, to which my supervisor replied "...well that would have been ho[u]rrendous.".

Light groans ensued.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuchSweet_Thunder
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2014
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We have a strict hierarchy policy for PPE usage at my office...

Regular workers must wear small face shields, while Managers get to use the super-visors.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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What can you learn from a dummy?

Their mistake

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Mariposa5487
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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Joke I came up with today

So this surgeon always posts pictures of the masks he wears during his surgery on Instagram. He does this every single time he has a surgery, and his nurses can never understand why. Eventually, he garners a massive following on Instagram. So, he goes into his supervisor's room, and he says, "Hello, it's a pleasure to see you". The supervisor says, "To what do I owe the pleasure?" The surgeon says, "Well, my Instagram business is really taking off. I think it would be better for me to quit being a surgeon and focus on Instagram full time". The supervisor thinks he's a little crazy but decides to let him do what he wants. The former surgeon now goes and buys as many masks as he can to sustain his Instagram account. Eventually, he becomes so wealthy that he is able to buy all these lavish things and not have to worry about economic failure. However, one day, he decides to begin posting pictures of medical needles on his Instagram account instead of masks at about the same time that he gets a horrible sickness that is almost always fatal. Because he posts pictures of masks now, his account begins failing, and even though he tries to save it, he's unable. He no longer has any money to treat the illness and is on his deathbed. His entire family is surrounding him, and his father leans in to hug him. As this happens, the ex-surgeon says in a weak voice, "Dad, where did I go wrong?" The dad, with tears in his eyes, seeing what his son has been reduced to and sadly knowing his dear son's death is imminent says, "You post syringe, you lose subscriber"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TwoPolesGaming
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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A frog walks into a bank for a loan.

All he has for collateral is a ceramic statue. The loan officer, Patty Black, is unsure of what to do so she consults with her supervisor; "Oh fine", he says. "It's a knick knack Patty Black, give the frog a loan."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Remo1975
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
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Dad's been busy

RETIRED HUSBAND

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to WalMart. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local WalMart:

Dear Mrs. Harris:

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store.

We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.

Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

  1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

  2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

  3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

  4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.

  5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

  6. August 14: Moved a, 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

  7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

  8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

  9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

  10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

  11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.

  12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, 'Madonna Look' using different sizes of funnels.

  13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

  14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed;

'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

  1. Took a bo
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/specklesinc
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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A short collection of fresh puns.

Most of this is my own work, if not, it was inspired by something clever!
I hope this will tickle your funnybone and produce a jolly good set of laughs.

A guy didn't register that the wet paint signs about the handrail was still drying, his hand immediately stuck to the rail. My only response to him was, well you see there, it's an application problem, not hardware.

A researcher's obsession with mixing sand, stones, lime and water has started to yield concrete results.

Eyeglass makers who profit well can frame their success.

Joe: I gave the backyard squirrels Christmas presents!
Abby: Are you nuts?
Joe: No, that's what I gave them...

What did the supervisor at the tortilla factory say at the end of a long workday?
That's a wrap!

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare. (Insp)

People who don't answer the phone sometimes miss their calling in life.

His words were heavy, but his friends didn't get the gravity of the situation.

Time flies like crazy!
Fruit flies like apples!

Never let logic and reasoning get in the way of telling a good story. (Sounds like something that would be said on TopGear/Grand Tour)

There are a few words that will open many doors for you in life - Push and Pull (Insp)

Somehow people really don't like it when I throw lamps at them to encourage them to lighten up.
Same goes for tossing handles for when they need to get a grip or soap for cleaning up their act.

When you're on the ballot for the water council and they have a runoff election.

Ghosts speak latin, it's a dead language (Insp)

If you work at a grocery, send the interns down to the meat market to get some red herrings.

There was a river in Egypt that no one believed existed, it was known locally as De-Nile.

Bad luck Brian - Invests in uranium, profits decay.

There was an explosion at the film manufacturing company, reporters say the story is still developing.

Why do bagpipers walk around?
To get away from the noise (Insp)

Most people have a six-figure income, just the decimal point is in the wrong place.

It has recently been discovered that scientific research causes cancer in rats.

In Russia, the term road has had a controversial meaning for a very long time.

In Canada/Russia, you put things in the fridge to warm them up.

Did you know that the creator of Barbie was named Barbara Dahl?

Doc: There's something not q

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2017
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Why is Cyclops in charge of the X-Men?

Because Prof. X made him a supervisor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iZacAsimov
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2017
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Two contractors are working on a building design

The first one is looking at the blueprint and finds that the stairs don't have enough space so he consults his supervisor. He shows him the blueprint and the space and says "there's not enough room so we need to change it to be either a ladder or an elevator". The supervisor thinks for a moment and replies "the latter"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/supergamer422
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2018
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I bought a new Superman visor.

I guess you could call me a supervisor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/partyphantom
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2018
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I had a zinger at work

One of my coworkers asked my supervisor how she stayed so tan. She replied by saying, "Oh, I have a little Indian in me." I jumped in and said, "What's his name?"

The cherry on top was that one of my other coworkers started laughing and said, "Hey, that's something my dad would say!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ethanholtz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2017
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Blonde concierge trying to sell us a timeshare...

So, my wife and I were on vacation with a couple (male) friends last week. Part of the deal was sitting through a timeshare pitch. Our concierge needed her supervisor (Amanda) to help explain some of the details.

Concierge: "I need Amanda, please."

Me: "I don't think my wife would appreciate it, but you can have either of them."

About a minute later, after continuing on with her spiel, she busted out laughing and said, "I get it now!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohmbience
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2014
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Having two "Nicks" in the office

Just heard this from a fellow coworker a few minutes ago:

I work on a team that have two "Nicks" in the office. One works in tech support and the other is a paralegal. We all work in the same vicinity. My supervisor was showing her frustration about a program that was not working right and she immediately asked for Nick (tech Nick). Paralegal Nick answered her call but she said that she it was asking for the other Nick.

My coworker, without a beat, said, "We might need to come up with new nicknames."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/InAWiseManner
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2016
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I couldn't resist myself during a meeting yesterday.

While reaching for the phone near the beginning of the meeting, my supervisor bumped his coffee cup and coffee sloshed over onto the desk and some papers. He laughed a little and just said something about it being a waste of good coffee.

My dadjoke instincts kicked in, and I agreed by saying, "A grind is a terrible thing to waste." I am proud to say it was well received.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tananda7
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2014
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My dad joke of the day at work

So I work at a fertilizer plant and we have a weekly team meeting. This one maintenance guy brings in a bearing that failed the week before to show it to us.

My supervisor: "Ahh I see you've come with gifts."

Me: "No, he's come bearing gifts."

Room was filled with laughter and groans.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fustercluck9
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2016
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I hope you need some corn

So my supervisor and I were stacking some freight when she notices a large amount of corn.

Supervisor: I hope you need some corn

Me: I do actually, my jokes are running a bit dry.

Eye rolls and sighs for days.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Carlevfranks
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2016
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Got my workmates a while ago. Still chuckle about it to myself occasionally

I work for an organisation which has a very institutionalised system whereby the newest hires are the shit kickers and the people who have been there longest have it easiest. I knew it when I signed up and now I've done my time and moved up the totem pole a bit. I was lucky enough to be one of 10 people hired at the same time in this hiring period and so the shit was spread out a bit.

We have a small fleet of cars that need to be washed every Sunday. This is the newest hire's responsibility. About 2-3 months into the job I was washing the cars with a few of my other new colleagues. Our supervisor pokes his head out of the building and barks at us "Make sure you do a good job; don't forget to do the wheels!"

"Don't worry boss," I replied, "I'll do a wheelie good job!"

Have you ever heard a chorus of groans? I have.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_saladfingers_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2016
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Became a "Dad" at work last week...

At about 3:30...

Worker: Let me know if you have any time before 5 o'clock.

Me (supervisor): I have about 90 minutes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheNinJay
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2014
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There's no "I" in team.

I've heard my Pop tell this story so many times, I feel as though it's my duty to share it with this wonderful subreddit.

So, Pops is an air traffic controller. And a few years back, there was an initiative to boost workplace morale and get people to work together as a team.

Needless to say, the whole campaign was the butt of lots of jokes around the sector. Not that teamwork is a bad thing, of course. Just easy fodder for jokes, particularly in a group of middle-aged, dad-joke-loving men.

So one time, Pops is shooting the shit with another controller, and they're giving each other a hard time about one thing or another. And their supervisor walks up; real squirrelly guy who didn't cut it as an actually controller so they made him a supervisor (the FAA is silly that way). And he hears my Pops and the other guy razzing each other, and sticks his head in the sector and says, "Gentlemen, there's no 'I' in 'team'."

And Pops responds, "Yeah, but there's a 'U' in 'stupid'!"

Every time he tells that story, he just loses it. Cracks himself up. Even though I'm sure I've heard him tell it two dozen times.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigafricanhat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2013
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The difference is like night and day

Situation: I'm working night shift for a few weeks and one of the supervisors on day shift walks up to me to say...

Sup - "Hi! How's it going?

Me - "It's fine. I'm actually enjoying it."

Sup - "What's the biggest difference do you think?"

Me - "It's dark."

Sup - "Ha. That's funny."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oXI_ENIGMAZ_IXo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2015
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Working at a daycare is a gold mine.

I was working with the 4 yearolds with one of my supervisors. We we're building puzzles when one of the kids walks up to my supervisor.

Kid 1: (Insert supervisor name), I'm thirsty.

Supervisor: Hello Thirsty.

Kid 2: No I think he wants a drink from the water fountain.

Supervisor: Oh is that what Thirsty wants?

Kid 2: Yeah.

Supervisor: Ok go get a drink Thirsty.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zyulls13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2013
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My dad just forwarded this email to me...

> > Balls > > > > INTERESTING OBSERVATION > > 1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL. > > > > > > > > > > 2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING. > > > > > > > > > > 3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL. > > > > > > > > 4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL. > > > > > > > > > > 5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS. > > And... > > > > > > > > 6. The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is > > GOLF. > > > > THE AMAZING CONCLUSION: > > > > The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls > > become. > > There must be a boat load of people in Ottawa and Queen's Park > > playing marbles. > > You know you WILL PASS THIS ONE ON!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BladeNoob
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2014
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un r/padrejoke

(( padre is Spanish for Dad ))

my supervisor calls a coworker over

my coworker replies with "voy" (( voy translates to I'm going ))

I peek my head out the cubicle and say "no, girl."

...

my coworker doesn't like me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/adriantwinkie
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2015
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Just dad-joked my boss, and I'm pretty darned proud of myself.

We have the old-rock radio station playing in our office and I was mockingly humming along to the tunes of one of the songs.

Then my supervisor says, "Oh I know you are not making fun of Def Leppard."

"It's not like they would be able to hear me if I was." I replied.

No one laughed, but the manager walked out of his office to say, "Come on guys, you have to admit that one was good."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Harasoluka
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2014
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Not in the typical dad joke style, but here's my dad's sense of humor.

We both work at a university caught in the midst of this cold front. I'm in admissions and he's the supervisor in the on campus power/heat plant.

"Dad, can you turn up the heat a little bit? The rest of campus is freezing."

"The dilithium crytals are overheating. She can't take anymore, captain."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotAlwaysGifs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2014
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Dadjoked a group email at work

My team's supervisor sent out an email to our group asking if anyone was getting a "beg" message from a particular application. So I replied all, "The program has not chosen to give me that message. So I guess beggars can be choosers."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PKMKII
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2014
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Dad joked a future lawyer at my job.

The other day at work, Best Buy, a lady came in and was talking to a female coworker of mine about laptops. She asked if I could get it for her and they told me it was so she could study for the bar. I quickly return with it and as I hand it over I say, "It's funny that you need it for the bar, the bar usually keeps me from studying!"

Both of them were unamused, but my supervisor approved (he's a dad.)

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mistafyed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2014
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My coworker

I live in Alberta where it's been -30 for the past week. This conversation happened at work.

Supervisor: my hands are so raw. Coworker: then you should probably cook them.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jinkies287
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2014
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