I am the master pun creator
A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."
A master woodworker needed transportation, so he built a motorcycle out of the best lumber in the workshop.
What do you call a master archer?
My friend said, “You have a BA, Masters and a Ph.D., but you still act like an idiot.”
It was a third degree burn.
What's your favourite blue spiky master film director?
Why are windows bad quiz masters?
They always reveal the answer
25 emails between me (film producer) and Jason (my props master) over the course of making my film RUN (on Hulu now!)
Did you know that musician Bob Seger wanted to be a chess master?
He was always working on his knight moves...
I was in the hotel lobby the other day when I heard 2 chess masters bragging about past wins.
They were chess nuts boasting in an open foyer
Master of None•••Pastor of Muppets
No matter what I do, I just can’t seem to master the entire alphabet.
My father in law is the master at Dad Jokes, this is my favorite he tells my son
You must be built backwards because your feet smell and your nose runs.
What did Master Yoda say when he first saw himself in 4k resolution?
I gave up explaining to my Zen master how E-mails work.
He can't just comprehend what attachments are!
I'm still figuring out how to properly wear a face covering. Before I could master the art I was robbed of my beloved mask...
It was stolen from right under my nose.
Vincent Van Gogh’s son was a LEGO master. As a test of his skill he was asked...
Can you LEGO an egg Gogh?
Bow down to your master, peasants
Which is the grand master of nuts?
A Zen master walked up to a hot dog stand, and ordered himself a meal.
"Make me one with everything."
You’ll likely get this if you watched Russell Crowe in Master and Commander...
People Who Are Expert Fishers Are Also Master Baiters
My friend said that stray dogs have no masters.
I agreed and added that they don't even have associates.
Im a master at sleeping
I can do it with my eyes closed!
You heard about the master-chef from Transylvania?
Why didn't Obi-Wan forgive Darth Maul for killing his master?
He wasn't willing to let Qui-Gons be bygones.
I met a Kung Fu master who has stayed in 30 yurts in the last 30 days
He's on a roundhouse kick.
Why did the park master cross the road?
To get to the other slide
Why isn’t Master Yoda a fan of rugby?
Because there is no try, only do, or do not.
As a master electrician of 22 years, I've never had an accident on the job.
When I finally had an accident at work, I was shocked.
What did the Great Deku Tree tell Link when he couldn't pull out the master sword?
Being a yo-yo master has its ups and downs.
Grandma is the dominant pun master in the family. (I’m in College— that’s why she says the first comment)
Hit my own father with a back to back. The student has surpassed the master.
Had to change some plans with my dad while I'm in town. So I told him we had to move the day to Thursday.
He said "don't worry I'm flexible"
to which I replied "I'd say that's a bit of a stretch."
He didn't seem to know what I meant so I had to explain I was joking.
"Ahhh I may be flexible but I'm not so bright."
"Don't worry dad, at least the son is."
I have officially become more dad than my own dad.
It takes 4000 hours to become a master of cheese
I reckon after 2000 you become cheese bored.
What kind of beverage do kung Fu masters drink?
My friend told me, “You have a B.A., Master’s, and a Ph.D., but you still act like a moron.”
It was a third degree burn.
My friend said, “You have a BA, Masters and a Ph.D., but you still act like an idiot.”
It was a third degree burn.
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K for the first time?
My wife said “You have a BA, a Masters and a PhD, but you still act like an idiot…”
It was a third degree burn
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
