So proud of my daughter for this one... "Why do fishes swim in salt water?"
Because pepper would make them sneeze!
She's six. She's awesome.
EDIT: Woo highest rated post, thanks to my kid. Also, I never said she wrote it! She just told it to me. So there.
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︎ Jun 03 2020
My dad once told me that if I put a potato in my swim trunks, I would attract more women...
He forgot to tell me to put the potato in the front
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︎ Jul 31 2020
Why are dogs able to swim so well?
They have a Good Boyancy chamber
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︎ Aug 27 2020
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because they would sneeze in pepper water!
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︎ Aug 08 2020
I would love to swim in an ocean of orange soda.
It would be my Fanta sea.
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︎ Jun 26 2020
Two fish are out swimming when they swim into a wall.
The one fish turns to the other and says, "Damn."
The second fish replies, "No, I think it was a well."
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︎ Jul 28 2020
What do you call a car being driven by a sheep wearing a swim-suit?
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︎ Jul 11 2020
Where do vehicles swim?
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︎ Jun 21 2020
Why do fish swim in saltwater?
Because pepper makes them sneeze
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︎ Jun 26 2020
What do you get if you swim in the red sea?
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︎ Jun 16 2020
Where do mathematicians swim?
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︎ Jun 08 2020
Icarus had a lesser known brother. He wanted to swim to the bottom of the ocean.
Instead of wax, he used paraffin.
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︎ Jul 19 2020
What did the fish say when it couldn't swim any further?
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︎ May 26 2020
My son said he wanted to swim in an ocean someday, any ocean at all.
I told him to be more Pacific.
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︎ Feb 24 2020
Why can't elephants swim alone?
Because you need a pair of trunks to swim
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︎ May 25 2020
Why do sharks swim in saltwater?
Because pepperwater makes 'em sneeze.
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︎ Apr 22 2020
Did you know that Einstein invented a new way to swim?
It was a stroke of genius!
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︎ Mar 08 2020
What does a fish say when it swims into a wall?
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︎ Apr 17 2020
I've always wanted to swim in a ocean of soda.
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︎ Oct 19 2019
I was going to take a winter swim
But after wading in I got cold feet.
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︎ Feb 05 2020
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
If they swam in pepper water they would sneeze.
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︎ Feb 05 2020
I was once walking my dog along a promenade during a storm. I got chatting to a German tourist. While we were talking, my dog decided to go for a swim. It was clear he was struggling then he got dragged under. The German dived in, pulled him out and did cpr. The dog coughed then came back to life
"That's amazing" I said "how did you know to do that? Are you a vet?"
"Vet?" He asked. 'of corse I'm vet. I was in zee sea"
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︎ Jan 28 2020
Where do baby hippopotami learn how to swim, eat, and socialize?
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︎ Jan 11 2020
Why don't squirrels swim in cold water?
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︎ Dec 27 2019
How do moths swim?
Using the butterfly stroke.
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︎ Dec 05 2019
What do you call a cowgirl that swims?
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︎ Nov 23 2019
My son keeps trying to swim inside the house... So I came up with this idea that Iβm starting to feel REALLY GOOD about.
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︎ Dec 09 2019
What do you call a duck that canβt swim
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︎ Nov 22 2019
Salmon are born in a river, swim out to sea for most of their lives, and then one day years later swim back against insurmountable odds to the very spot where they were born.
And I canβt find my car in the parking lot.
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︎ Nov 22 2019
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
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︎ Oct 30 2019
Why wouldn't the hipster swim in the river?
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︎ Mar 23 2019
What do you call Hitler when he swims?
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︎ Jul 02 2019
Where do snakes swim?
In the Hississippi river.
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︎ Aug 13 2019
What can't the Finnish man swim?
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︎ Jul 24 2019
Why canβt two elephants swim at the same time?
They only have one pair of trunks.
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︎ Sep 04 2018
Why does the duck like to swim?
Because heβs a-quack-tic.
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︎ Aug 06 2019
Hippos can run faster than humans on land, and swim faster than humans in water.
Which means the bicycle is your only chance of beating a hippo in a triathlon.
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︎ May 28 2019
Sis: Donβt think we can swim looks like it may rain.
Dad: But how can it May rain in June?
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︎ Jun 15 2019
Where do heterosexual people like to swim?
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︎ Dec 08 2018
Why do walruses swim in salt water?
Because if they swam in peppered water theyβd sneeze all the time.
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︎ Mar 02 2019
How does Batman swim
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︎ Feb 23 2019
What fish doesnβt swim?
Crawlfish
Courtesy of my dad
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︎ Nov 03 2018
The fish swims down the river until it suddenly hits a wall.
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︎ Apr 01 2019
An English cat and a French cat tried to swim across a creek.
The English cat braced herself, and said βOne, two, three!β. The cat swam across. The French cat braced herself, and said βUn, deux, troisβ―!β Cat sank.
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︎ Jun 15 2016
Two fish swim into a concrete wall...
One of them says: "Dam(n)"
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︎ Mar 01 2019
What do call an obedient dog who loves to swim?
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︎ Jun 15 2018
Where does Dracula swim?
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︎ Feb 04 2019
My grandpa learned to swim when his dad tossed him in the river
He said it wasn't so bad once he untied himself and got out of the gunny sack.
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︎ Jun 12 2018
Why do fish swim in salty water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze!
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︎ May 14 2018
My friend thought he could swim the longest river in the world
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︎ Nov 07 2018
How deep is the pond frogs swim in?
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︎ Nov 20 2018
Egypt is a great place to swim
Don't believe me? You must be in deNile
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︎ Aug 11 2018
Two fish swim into a wall
The other one turns to his friend and says "Dam".
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︎ Jan 25 2018
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
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︎ Jul 27 2017
Two fish swim into a concrete wall...
The one turns to the other and
says, "Dam!"
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︎ Sep 01 2017
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︎ May 30 2018
Last night, I couldn't find my normal pajamas, so I put on swim trunks.
My wife asked, "why are you wearing swim trunks right now?"
Because, I'm about to dive into bed!
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︎ May 24 2017
Where do mummies swim?
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︎ Jul 10 2016
So, The girl I am seeing was telling me about her swim meets.
She was telling me about how they worked and stuff and then says,
"Everyone has to wear their meet suits to the competitions."
So I respond, "I bet there was a lot of beef between you and the other team!"
...She groaned and said she didn't want to talk to me for the rest of the car ride.
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︎ Sep 28 2014
Why don't people swim in the winter?
Because they're too cool for pool.
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︎ Aug 22 2017
What sound do fish without I's make when they swim?
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︎ Aug 16 2017
Sort of SO told me that I should swim unprotected with sharks.
I replied with "Idk, I may end up with an STD...a Sharksually Transmitted Disease."
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︎ Mar 15 2017
Stopped at a motel, went for a swim, and my SO got me good.
I'm driving across the country with my SO and we're stopped at a motel right now.
It has a small indoor swimming pool so I put on my boardshorts, went for a quick swim, and hung them up to dry in the shower overnight. This morning my SO saw them:
>"They dry really quickly," she said.
>"Yup, that's what boardshorts are for," I said.
>"They don't have a lot to do?"
It took me a minute. She got me good.
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︎ Sep 13 2016
Why did the squirrel swim on his back?
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︎ Aug 13 2016
[Daily Jumble] Sylvester Stallone wanted to go for a relaxing swim at the beach, but it was...
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︎ May 28 2014
Every time my grandfather went for a swim
Random family member: How's the water Bob?
My grandfather: Wet!
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︎ Aug 08 2013
You're not allowed to swim while it's raining
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︎ Dec 04 2016
Why do seals swim in salt water?
Pepper water makes them sneeze.
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︎ Sep 03 2015
My dad's favorite joke: What has two knees and swims?
A two-knee fish!
Best told in his Donald Duck voice, and always followed by him snorting with laughter.
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︎ Oct 16 2013
Swim Coach DadJoked Us Today
Us: Hey Coach can we catch-up relays
Him: Yes, but first you got to bring the mustard
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︎ Jul 13 2014
I would love to swim in an ocean of orange soda.
It would be my Fanta sea.
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︎ Jun 26 2020
What does the fish say when he swims against a wall?
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︎ Feb 19 2020
A fish swims into a wall...
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︎ Nov 26 2019
Why do sharks only swim in saltwater?
Because pepperwater makes them sneeze
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︎ Jan 20 2019
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