Why can’t two elephants swim at the same time?

They only have a pair of trunks.

-my grandfather, just 5 minutes ago.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCVisNih
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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Why do seals swim in salt water ?

Because, pepper water makes them sneeze.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
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My friend and I swim a lot

People regularly consider us as fishy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Just_y_not
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
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A shark can swim faster than me, but I reckon I can run faster than a shark.

So, if it was a Triathlon, it would come down to, which one of us was better at riding a bike....Right!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
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How does a duck swim from one side of the pond to the other?

Very Quackly

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
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I, fake a smile so he won't swim
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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The Gentoo penguin can swim up to 22mph

If you think that's impressive you should see the Gen 3

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaydezi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
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So proud of my daughter for this one... "Why do fishes swim in salt water?"

Because pepper would make them sneeze!

She's six. She's awesome.

EDIT: Woo highest rated post, thanks to my kid. Also, I never said she wrote it! She just told it to me. So there.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/evanphi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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When you swim in the creek, and an eel bites your cheek

That's a moray

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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My dad just asked me, β€œDo you know why dolphins swim?”

β€œThey swim for a porpoise”

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DerpCharizard
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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My dad once told me that if I put a potato in my swim trunks, I would attract more women...

He forgot to tell me to put the potato in the front

πŸ‘︎ 254
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Funny-Promise956
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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If cat likes to swim....

Is it a catfish?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/V3naticorum
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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What do you call a fish who can't swim?

A taxi.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wings31
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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Why can dogs swim?

Because they are good buoys

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Metal_Achilles
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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"It's sink or swim." As my dad always said.

Lovely man, terrible lifeguard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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My job interview for the Navy was going well, until they asked if I could swim

To be honest, I thought they’d have boats.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ask_carly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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Watching a little tadpole swim around from one stage of life to another is fascinating.

I just love watching the frogress.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beardwithablog
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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Why does a squirrel swim on its back?

To keep it's nuts dry

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Onowl
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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What do you call a titan that can't swim?

Titanic

Ps: This one is from my daughter who loves Attack On Titans... don't know where she gets it from... πŸ™‚

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/akulernih
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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I would love to swim in an ocean of orange soda.

It would be my Fanta sea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/welltechnically7
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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Why do sharks swim in salt water?

Because pepper water makes them sneeze

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ardensulled
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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What do you call wet swim trunks?

Swam trunks

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nobodahobo66
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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Why do sharks swim in salt water?

Because they would sneeze in pepper water!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sleepypanda59
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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Why are dogs able to swim so well?

They have a Good Boyancy chamber

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatGuyNextToMe
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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What do you call a crime fighting dog that can swim underwater?

SCUBA-Doo!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eat-rainbows
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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Where do mathematicians swim?

Indices!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NomTheDestroyer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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Where do vehicles swim?

The carpool.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hibus_2vy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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What do you get if you swim in the red sea?

Marooned

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blarty97
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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Why do fish swim in saltwater?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tankerman05
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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What do you call a car being driven by a sheep wearing a swim-suit?

A Lamb Bikini

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/studentadvisor101
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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Two fish are out swimming when they swim into a wall.

The one fish turns to the other and says, "Damn."

The second fish replies, "No, I think it was a well."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TwinTowers05
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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My son said he wanted to swim in an ocean someday, any ocean at all.

I told him to be more Pacific.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
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Icarus had a lesser known brother. He wanted to swim to the bottom of the ocean.

Instead of wax, he used paraffin.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flylink63
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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What did the fish say when it couldn't swim any further?

"Dam"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaffynitionMaker
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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Did you know that Einstein invented a new way to swim?

It was a stroke of genius!

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weirdgroovynerd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
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Why can't elephants swim alone?

Because you need a pair of trunks to swim

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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Why do sharks swim in saltwater?

Because pepperwater makes 'em sneeze.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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I've always wanted to swim in a ocean of soda.

It's my fanta-sea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Safety_First_Guys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
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What does a fish say when it swims into a wall?

Dam.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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I was going to take a winter swim

But after wading in I got cold feet.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JukeboxSommelier
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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Why do sharks swim in salt water?

If they swam in pepper water they would sneeze.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lvrcerosis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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I was once walking my dog along a promenade during a storm. I got chatting to a German tourist. While we were talking, my dog decided to go for a swim. It was clear he was struggling then he got dragged under. The German dived in, pulled him out and did cpr. The dog coughed then came back to life

"That's amazing" I said "how did you know to do that? Are you a vet?" "Vet?" He asked. 'of corse I'm vet. I was in zee sea"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedDogBoyMark
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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Why don't squirrels swim in cold water?

The nuts shrink.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/igi23295
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
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Where do baby hippopotami learn how to swim, eat, and socialize?

Hippocampus

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
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I would love to swim in an ocean of orange soda.

It would be my Fanta sea.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/welltechnically7
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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What does the fish say when he swims against a wall?

dam

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tvdb2003
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
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A fish swims into a wall...

Dam.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mayrunal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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