Why canβt two elephants swim at the same time?
They only have a pair of trunks.
-my grandfather, just 5 minutes ago.
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︎ Dec 20 2020
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because, pepper water makes them sneeze.
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︎ Jan 05 2021
My friend and I swim a lot
People regularly consider us as fishy
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︎ Jan 13 2021
A shark can swim faster than me, but I reckon I can run faster than a shark.
So, if it was a Triathlon, it would come down to, which one of us was better at riding a bike....Right!
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︎ Jan 04 2021
I, fake a smile so he won't swim
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︎ Dec 17 2020
The Gentoo penguin can swim up to 22mph
If you think that's impressive you should see the Gen 3
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︎ Jan 09 2021
So proud of my daughter for this one... "Why do fishes swim in salt water?"
Because pepper would make them sneeze!
She's six. She's awesome.
EDIT: Woo highest rated post, thanks to my kid. Also, I never said she wrote it! She just told it to me. So there.
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︎ Jun 03 2020
When you swim in the creek, and an eel bites your cheek
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︎ Nov 24 2020
My dad just asked me, βDo you know why dolphins swim?β
βThey swim for a porpoiseβ
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︎ Nov 27 2020
My dad once told me that if I put a potato in my swim trunks, I would attract more women...
He forgot to tell me to put the potato in the front
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︎ Jul 31 2020
What do you call a fish who can't swim?
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︎ Nov 14 2020
Why can dogs swim?
Because they are good buoys
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︎ Oct 09 2020
"It's sink or swim." As my dad always said.
Lovely man, terrible lifeguard.
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︎ Oct 26 2020
My job interview for the Navy was going well, until they asked if I could swim
To be honest, I thought theyβd have boats.
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︎ Sep 02 2020
Watching a little tadpole swim around from one stage of life to another is fascinating.
I just love watching the frogress.
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︎ Oct 08 2020
Why does a squirrel swim on its back?
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︎ Sep 24 2020
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
Titanic
Ps: This one is from my daughter who loves Attack On Titans... don't know where she gets it from... π
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︎ Oct 07 2020
What do you call wet swim trunks?
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︎ Sep 07 2020
I would love to swim in an ocean of orange soda.
It would be my Fanta sea.
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︎ Jun 26 2020
Why are dogs able to swim so well?
They have a Good Boyancy chamber
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︎ Aug 27 2020
What do you call a crime fighting dog that can swim underwater?
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︎ Sep 09 2020
Where do mathematicians swim?
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︎ Jun 08 2020
Where do vehicles swim?
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︎ Jun 21 2020
What do you get if you swim in the red sea?
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︎ Jun 16 2020
What do you call a car being driven by a sheep wearing a swim-suit?
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︎ Jul 11 2020
Two fish are out swimming when they swim into a wall.
The one fish turns to the other and says, "Damn."
The second fish replies, "No, I think it was a well."
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︎ Jul 28 2020
My son said he wanted to swim in an ocean someday, any ocean at all.
I told him to be more Pacific.
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︎ Feb 24 2020
Icarus had a lesser known brother. He wanted to swim to the bottom of the ocean.
Instead of wax, he used paraffin.
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︎ Jul 19 2020
What did the fish say when it couldn't swim any further?
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︎ May 26 2020
Did you know that Einstein invented a new way to swim?
It was a stroke of genius!
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︎ Mar 08 2020
Why do sharks swim in saltwater?
Because pepperwater makes 'em sneeze.
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︎ Apr 22 2020
I've always wanted to swim in a ocean of soda.
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︎ Oct 19 2019
What does a fish say when it swims into a wall?
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︎ Apr 17 2020
I was going to take a winter swim
But after wading in I got cold feet.
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︎ Feb 05 2020
I was once walking my dog along a promenade during a storm. I got chatting to a German tourist. While we were talking, my dog decided to go for a swim. It was clear he was struggling then he got dragged under. The German dived in, pulled him out and did cpr. The dog coughed then came back to life
"That's amazing" I said "how did you know to do that? Are you a vet?"
"Vet?" He asked. 'of corse I'm vet. I was in zee sea"
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︎ Jan 28 2020
Why don't squirrels swim in cold water?
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︎ Dec 27 2019
Where do baby hippopotami learn how to swim, eat, and socialize?
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︎ Jan 11 2020
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze
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︎ Sep 10 2020
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because they would sneeze in pepper water!
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︎ Aug 08 2020
I would love to swim in an ocean of orange soda.
It would be my Fanta sea.
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︎ Jun 26 2020
Why do fish swim in saltwater?
Because pepper makes them sneeze
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︎ Jun 26 2020
Why can't elephants swim alone?
Because you need a pair of trunks to swim
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︎ May 25 2020
What does the fish say when he swims against a wall?
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︎ Feb 19 2020
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
If they swam in pepper water they would sneeze.
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︎ Feb 05 2020
A fish swims into a wall...
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︎ Nov 26 2019
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