Today I learned that if you're in a canoe and it flips over in water...

....you can safely wear it on your head... because it's capsized.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/b_wanker
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
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I don't know how to paddle in a canoe

Canoe?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Catalyst-Kid
πŸ“…︎ May 26
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What happened to the guy that lit a fire in his canoe?

He learned that you can't have your kayak and heat it too

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GarageAromatic
πŸ“…︎ May 22
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I like to wear a canoe on my head like it's a hat

Works best if it's capsized

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πŸ“…︎ May 29
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Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...

...an ether/oar situation...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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How do you row a canoe filled with puppies?

Bring out the doggy paddle.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
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Did you hear about the guy who lit a fire in his canoe and caused it to sink?

It just goes to show, you can't have your kayak and heat it too!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wimpykidfan37
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
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My dad once tried making coffee. When he tasted it he said "ahh, like making love in a canoe."

I asked if it was that good, his smile faded and he looked me dead in the eye as he said no, its fucking close to water. He poured it down the drain without losing focus and walked out of the kitchen

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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My girlfriend and I broke up at summer camp. We got into an argument over which canoe to get take.

She got in one and I the other. Then we just drifted apart.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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Drinking American beer is the same as having sex on a canoe.

It’s f*cking close to water.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/robindc_93
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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There was a big sale on canoe paddles at the store today.

It was quite an oar deal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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what do you call a canoe that's 50% off?

A sale boat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/legit_nublet
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
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The sporting goods store downtown was having a big sale on canoe paddles, but traffic and road construction made it real pain to get there...

...yeah, it was quite the ordeal to get the oar deal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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During a recent camping trip, my son rigged his drone to paddle his canoe for him. He called it the "DronePaddle3000".

I just call it a Rowbot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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My dad would always tell me that, if my canoe flipped over, I could just use it as a hat...

because it's capsized.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cross_beaux
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2018
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My son just bought a 27-foot long canoe.

He told me it was really expensive because its material, kevlar, its seats, leather, and the hull, 9 yards.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Catapult_Power
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
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What is the best way to steer a canoe?

Either oar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/plushcoots
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2017
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My buddy founded a canoe business that’s really taking off.

I had the same idea, but I missed the boat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/devnodegree
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2018
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What did the President decide to name his brand new canoe after leaving the store?

President Robama

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnD1451
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2016
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Which paddle do you use when you sit in the front of a canoe?

Either oar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SugaFreeART
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2018
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What do you call an old canoe?

A ca-old

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Not_Wilhelm_II
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
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What do you call a mechanical man paddling a canoe?

A Rowbot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SteveHRRT
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2017
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Passionate man paddling a canoe:

Some oak on the water; there's fire in this guy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/antmansclone
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2016
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We have a metal paddle for our canoe...

I told the kids it's iron oar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bcjgreen
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2018
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What do you call a bot that likes to sit in a canoe?

A row-bot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Normazing
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2015
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My brother refers to light beer as "making love in a canoe"

Because it's f***ing near water. (He doesn't even have kids, so I guess it's an uncle joke)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BackOnTheMap
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2015
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Today I learned that if a canoe turns upside down in the water, you can safely wear it on your head.

Because it’s capsized.

πŸ‘︎ 848
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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TIL: If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.

Because it’s capsized.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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When you barf in a canoe...

... is it a kayak?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
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this coffee is like having sex in a canoe

it’s fucking close to water

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spy-sauce
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
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What have american beer and sex in a canoe in common?

Fucking close to water

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeteZahad
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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The canoe store has a big sale last week.

It was quite the oar deal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ggismeh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
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Drinking my coffee this morning was like making love on a canoe

It's fucking close to water.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArtfulDues
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2017
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