Went canoeing with my dad.

I asked if he wanted to man the left or right paddle.

He said either oar.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gnamflah
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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We were camping near the lake and my wife wanted to go canoeing...

She asked: "Which paddle should I take? The short wooden one, the long metal one?

I replied: "Doesn't matter, its either-oar situation"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
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Went to the boundary waters for canoeing recently

While there, I picked up my phone and said "Hello, Yeah this is him. On my way." Looked over at my friends and said, "oh don't worry, that was just nature calling" and headed towards the bathroom. I could hear groans behind me. Yeah... They almost left me there

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neliuskol
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2015
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/u/Juiceman17 on canoeing

http://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/2d7304/our_canoes_got_stuck_and_this_guy_comes_to_help/cjmua87

>/u/juinjing: Can't you canoe faster than you can swim? Legitimate question. I am not an aquatic man.

>/u/Juiceman17: A canoe is certainly faster than a cannot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RiKSh4w
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2014
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Today I learned that if you're in a canoe and it flips over in water...

....you can safely wear it on your head... because it's capsized.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/b_wanker
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
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Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...

...an ether/oar situation...

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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How do you row a canoe filled with puppies?

Bring out the doggy paddle.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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Did you hear about the guy who lit a fire in his canoe and caused it to sink?

It just goes to show, you can't have your kayak and heat it too!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wimpykidfan37
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
🚨︎ report
My dad once tried making coffee. When he tasted it he said "ahh, like making love in a canoe."

I asked if it was that good, his smile faded and he looked me dead in the eye as he said no, its fucking close to water. He poured it down the drain without losing focus and walked out of the kitchen

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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My girlfriend and I broke up at summer camp. We got into an argument over which canoe to get take.

She got in one and I the other. Then we just drifted apart.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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Drinking American beer is the same as having sex on a canoe.

It’s f*cking close to water.

πŸ‘︎ 119
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robindc_93
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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There was a big sale on canoe paddles at the store today.

It was quite an oar deal.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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what do you call a canoe that's 50% off?

A sale boat.

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/legit_nublet
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
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The sporting goods store downtown was having a big sale on canoe paddles, but traffic and road construction made it real pain to get there...

...yeah, it was quite the ordeal to get the oar deal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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I spit on your forking grave.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dogmatic_Catalyst
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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During a recent camping trip, my son rigged his drone to paddle his canoe for him. He called it the "DronePaddle3000".

I just call it a Rowbot.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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I hate jokes about canoes.

They’re oarable.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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My dad would always tell me that, if my canoe flipped over, I could just use it as a hat...

because it's capsized.

πŸ‘︎ 100
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cross_beaux
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2018
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My son just bought a 27-foot long canoe.

He told me it was really expensive because its material, kevlar, its seats, leather, and the hull, 9 yards.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Catapult_Power
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
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There was an amazing discount on canoes at Dick' s sporting goods.

It was quite the oar deal.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JealousPenguin
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
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What is the best way to steer a canoe?

Either oar.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/plushcoots
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2017
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My buddy founded a canoe business that’s really taking off.

I had the same idea, but I missed the boat.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/devnodegree
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2018
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I can't think of a better way to cross the lake

Canoe?

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alecdoconnor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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What did the President decide to name his brand new canoe after leaving the store?

President Robama

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnD1451
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2016
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Which paddle do you use when you sit in the front of a canoe?

Either oar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SugaFreeART
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2018
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My wife told me she's slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer !

Don't worry guys, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf

πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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What do you call a mechanical man paddling a canoe?

A Rowbot

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SteveHRRT
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2017
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What do you call an old canoe?

A ca-old

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Not_Wilhelm_II
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
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Passionate man paddling a canoe:

Some oak on the water; there's fire in this guy.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/antmansclone
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2016
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What does Donald Trump call kayaks?

Fake canoes!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Balso
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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Apparently scientists are working on self driving canoes

They'll be powered by a few row bots

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tenderlove
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2017
🚨︎ report
We have a metal paddle for our canoe...

I told the kids it's iron oar.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bcjgreen
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2018
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How do you make any boat a hat?

You flip it over and it becomes capsized.

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unic0rnism
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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What do you call a bot that likes to sit in a canoe?

A row-bot.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Normazing
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2015
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I was cold while in my kayak so I lit a fire and it sunk

Shows you can’t have your kayak and heat it too!

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JumpingRedFox
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother refers to light beer as "making love in a canoe"

Because it's f***ing near water. (He doesn't even have kids, so I guess it's an uncle joke)

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BackOnTheMap
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2015
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Today I learned that if a canoe turns upside down in the water, you can safely wear it on your head.

Because it’s capsized.

πŸ‘︎ 844
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
TIL: If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.

Because it’s capsized.

πŸ‘︎ 216
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
When you barf in a canoe...

... is it a kayak?

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
🚨︎ report
this coffee is like having sex in a canoe

it’s fucking close to water

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spy-sauce
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What have american beer and sex in a canoe in common?

Fucking close to water

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeteZahad
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
🚨︎ report
The canoe store has a big sale last week.

It was quite the oar deal.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ggismeh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
🚨︎ report
The sporting goods store just had a big sale on canoes

It was quite the oar deal

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheesehead4420
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
🚨︎ report
The sporting goods store in my town has a sale on canoes

It’s a big oar deal!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
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Drinking my coffee this morning was like making love on a canoe

It's fucking close to water.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArtfulDues
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2017
🚨︎ report
TIL: If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head.

Because it is capsized.

πŸ‘︎ 862
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report

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