What did the Jamaican guy say to Julius Caesar when they were canoeing?

Roman!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Maximus_Prime250
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 10 2021
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Went canoeing with my dad.

I asked if he wanted to man the left or right paddle.

He said either oar.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gnamflah
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 27 2020
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We were camping near the lake and my wife wanted to go canoeing...

She asked: "Which paddle should I take? The short wooden one, the long metal one?

I replied: "Doesn't matter, its either-oar situation"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 12 2020
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Went to the boundary waters for canoeing recently

While there, I picked up my phone and said "Hello, Yeah this is him. On my way." Looked over at my friends and said, "oh don't worry, that was just nature calling" and headed towards the bathroom. I could hear groans behind me. Yeah... They almost left me there

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/neliuskol
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 28 2015
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/u/Juiceman17 on canoeing

http://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/2d7304/our_canoes_got_stuck_and_this_guy_comes_to_help/cjmua87

>/u/juinjing: Can't you canoe faster than you can swim? Legitimate question. I am not an aquatic man.

>/u/Juiceman17: A canoe is certainly faster than a cannot

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RiKSh4w
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 11 2014
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Today I learned that if you're in a canoe and it flips over in water...

....you can safely wear it on your head... because it's capsized.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/b_wanker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 23 2021
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I don't know how to paddle in a canoe

Canoe?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Catalyst-Kid
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 26 2021
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I like to wear a canoe on my head like it's a hat

Works best if it's capsized

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hesitantmaneatingcat
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 29 2021
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What happened to the guy that lit a fire in his canoe?

He learned that you can't have your kayak and heat it too

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GarageAromatic
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 22 2021
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Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...

...an ether/oar situation...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 28 2020
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How do you row a canoe filled with puppies?

Bring out the doggy paddle.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SmartassBrickmelter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 04 2021
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Did you hear about the guy who lit a fire in his canoe and caused it to sink?

It just goes to show, you can't have your kayak and heat it too!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wimpykidfan37
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 03 2021
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My dad once tried making coffee. When he tasted it he said "ahh, like making love in a canoe."

I asked if it was that good, his smile faded and he looked me dead in the eye as he said no, its fucking close to water. He poured it down the drain without losing focus and walked out of the kitchen

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NotAPoliceOfficer68
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2019
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My dad says to me,"Hey,let's go fishing! We'll take the canoe."

I told him,"It's actually pronounced"gnu."The "g" is silent!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shdchko
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 10 2020
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My girlfriend and I broke up at summer camp. We got into an argument over which canoe to get take.

She got in one and I the other. Then we just drifted apart.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/labink
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 03 2020
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Drinking American beer is the same as having sex on a canoe.

It’s f*cking close to water.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 119
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/robindc_93
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 29 2020
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There was a big sale on canoe paddles at the store today.

It was quite an oar deal.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 16 2020
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what do you call a canoe that's 50% off?

A sale boat.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 68
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/legit_nublet
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 23 2020
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The sporting goods store downtown was having a big sale on canoe paddles, but traffic and road construction made it real pain to get there...

...yeah, it was quite the ordeal to get the oar deal.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 08 2020
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During a recent camping trip, my son rigged his drone to paddle his canoe for him. He called it the "DronePaddle3000".

I just call it a Rowbot.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 08 2020
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I spit on your forking grave.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dogmatic_Catalyst
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 22 2021
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I hate jokes about canoes.

They’re oarable.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheNightmanCometh10
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 28 2019
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My dad would always tell me that, if my canoe flipped over, I could just use it as a hat...

because it's capsized.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 100
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cross_beaux
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 17 2018
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My son just bought a 27-foot long canoe.

He told me it was really expensive because its material, kevlar, its seats, leather, and the hull, 9 yards.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Catapult_Power
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 28 2018
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There was an amazing discount on canoes at Dick' s sporting goods.

It was quite the oar deal.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JealousPenguin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 13 2019
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What is the best way to steer a canoe?

Either oar.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/plushcoots
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 11 2017
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My buddy founded a canoe business that’s really taking off.

I had the same idea, but I missed the boat.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/devnodegree
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 10 2018
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What did the President decide to name his brand new canoe after leaving the store?

President Robama

πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JohnD1451
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2016
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Which paddle do you use when you sit in the front of a canoe?

Either oar.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SugaFreeART
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 04 2018
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I can't think of a better way to cross the lake

Canoe?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Alecdoconnor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 29 2020
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What do you call a mechanical man paddling a canoe?

A Rowbot

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SteveHRRT
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 10 2017
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What do you call an old canoe?

A ca-old

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Not_Wilhelm_II
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 29 2018
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Passionate man paddling a canoe:

Some oak on the water; there's fire in this guy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/antmansclone
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 01 2016
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Apparently scientists are working on self driving canoes

They'll be powered by a few row bots

πŸ‘οΈŽ 37
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tenderlove
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 29 2017
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My wife told me she's slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer !

Don't worry guys, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf

πŸ‘οΈŽ 74
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 28 2020
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We have a metal paddle for our canoe...

I told the kids it's iron oar.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bcjgreen
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 30 2018
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What does Donald Trump call kayaks?

Fake canoes!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Balso
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 23 2020
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What do you call a bot that likes to sit in a canoe?

A row-bot.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Normazing
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 06 2015
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How do you make any boat a hat?

You flip it over and it becomes capsized.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 83
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/unic0rnism
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 16 2020
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I was cold while in my kayak so I lit a fire and it sunk

Shows you can’t have your kayak and heat it too!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JumpingRedFox
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 10 2020
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Today I learned that if a canoe turns upside down in the water, you can safely wear it on your head.

Because it’s capsized.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 850
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 29 2020
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TIL: If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.

Because it’s capsized.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 215
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 23 2019
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When you barf in a canoe...

... is it a kayak?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 09 2020
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this coffee is like having sex in a canoe

it’s fucking close to water

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/spy-sauce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 10 2019
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What have american beer and sex in a canoe in common?

Fucking close to water

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PeteZahad
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 01 2019
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The canoe store has a big sale last week.

It was quite the oar deal.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 43
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ggismeh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 26 2018
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The sporting goods store just had a big sale on canoes

It was quite the oar deal

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cheesehead4420
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 29 2019
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The sporting goods store in my town has a sale on canoes

It’s a big oar deal!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CarpalTunnelVision
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 09 2019
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Drinking my coffee this morning was like making love on a canoe

It's fucking close to water.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ArtfulDues
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 22 2017
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