Why would sultanas make good synchronised swimmers?

Because they naturally do things concurrantly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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Which periodic element is the worst swimmer?

Zink

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eliastw03
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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Where did the swimmer pack everything for his vacation?

In his trunks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
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How do swimmers workout?

They do pool-ups

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhichDesigner
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
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What is the most common medical issue for swimmers?

Strokes

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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I was about to make a joke about swimmers,

but it drowned out in thought

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
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Where do swimmers go for a drink?

Dive bars.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Conviction666
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
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OF COURSE the gold medal swimmer from Hungary was the only person NOT to bite the medal.

I was so ready, too.

Ruined my evening.

πŸ‘︎ 210
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KarockGrok
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2016
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Me: I have Swimmer’s Ear

Dad: Give it back

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RegalianBlood
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2018
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What is a swimmer’s favorite music genre?

Freestyle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Carter16891
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2018
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I used to think of myself as a really good swimmer.

Then I went into the ocean and got schooled by a bunch of fish.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kopextacy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2017
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Where will you always find a swimmer who can't believe he's drowning?

In de-Nile.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RubenMcNoobin
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2015
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Watching a paraplegic swimmer on the news last night.

Me: "I wonder how he manages to swim without legs?"

Dad: "They should change his name to bob"

Me: throws up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skatesafe
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2015
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What does the Mexican swimmer say when he's retiring?

Adios les speedo

(sorry about this one, i thought about it after a 12-hour shift over a grill)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeeAfterJay
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2017
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How would you describe an Egyptian swimmer that doesn't believe he just won something?

He's in de-NILE

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2016
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My wife were talking about my swimming ability:

Her: "You're a pretty strong swimmer"

Me: "Yeah but I never learned butterfly stroke"

Her: "Butterfly? You just...wing it"

We both looked at each other and snickered like children.

Title Edit: "My wife and I were talking"*

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unwilling_pizza
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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What do you call the soft tissue between a shark’s teeth?

The slowest swimmer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arkham_Asylum27
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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Pops was quick on his feet

So my mom asked my dad about a family friend who is having a baby, she asked what his name was gunna be and after some mild mom research she figures out his name is Finley. Without hesitation my dad says β€œwell, at least he’s going to be a hell of a swimmer” and I’ll be damned if I didn’t look at him and giggle a tad.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
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What kind of athlete makes the best kind of neurologist?

Swimmers, because they have to learn all about strokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LunOverdose
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
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My brother after watching the winner of a women's swimming event last night

Mom: is that swimmer Russian?

Bro: well.. Not anymore, she finished

Blank stares turned to realizations and then everyone threw stuff at him

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yeagerbomb16
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2016
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I made up a racist joke.

A cyclist, a swimmer, a jockey, and a greyhound all walk into a bar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oninekko
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2015
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My father dad-joked my uncle

My uncle was telling a story about a swimmer had several dolphins surround him to protect the swimmer from the sharks in the water. After he finished his story, my dad asked, "Do you think the dolphins did it on porpoise?" Groans ensued.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/taj693
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2014
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Dinner time jokes

We were discussing the paralympics, and my brother mentioned a swimmer with no arms or legs.

My Stepdad then immediately said "Was his name clever dick?"

He laughed, long and loud, and so did I. Everyone else groaned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/normalguyfromeng
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2014
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Instructor got me in class on heart attacks and stroke

Do you know what athletes have the most strokes? Second is golfers. First is swimmers. Breast stroke, back stroke, side stroke....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShortWoman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2016
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"Well, isn't that normal?"

I was complaining to my dad about how a girl from our school with straight Ds got into Duke on a swimming scholarship. He said "Well, isn't that normal?" I looked at him funny and he said, "Shouldn't swimmers be below C-level?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/megannotmeagan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2013
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When I take my kids to the pool...

...I like to congratulate them on being my best little swimmers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/redical
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2015
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Caught my dad off guard the other day

My kids were at my parents house swimming and my dad said "Son, your kids are good swimmers." And I replied, "Yep. That's how they got here."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnstantine
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2014
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What do you call the soft tissue between a shark’s teeth?

The slow swimmer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pgtart
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
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What do you call the soft tissue lining the area between a sharks teeth?

The swimmer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Preponderancy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
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