What do you call a good swimming pun?

A stroke of genius

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buffWarlocks
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
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I wouldn't suggest wearing them swimming though
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lams1d
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
🚨︎ report
A man knocked on my door today and asked for a small donation for the local swimming pool...

So I gave him a glass of water...

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
Most people know that after swimming into a wall the fish said "Dam!" But what did the dam say?

Dumb bass

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CIMMGW
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
Swimming with a dolphin is moving with a porpoise
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arconyx
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
I had a dream I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda...

It was a fanta sea

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnluckyLiterature
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
Went to the swimming pool the other day and desperately need to pee so just peed in the pool

Got such a fright when the lifeguard blew his whistle that I nearly fell in..

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sardonicuis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25
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You think swimming with dolphins is expensive???

Swimming with sharks cost me an arm and a leg!

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Floppy-4-Skin
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
🚨︎ report
Earlier today a man knocked on my door, and he asked me for a small donation towards the local swimming pool..

I gave him a glass of water.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pot_Puree
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
Today a man came to my house and asked for a small donation towards a local swimming pool

I gave him a glass of water

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda.

I guess you could say it was more of a Fanta sea.

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leftonasournote
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
🚨︎ report
I went swimming today and took a pee in the deep end

The lifeguard noticed and blew his whistle so loud, I almost fell in

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
🚨︎ report
Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda.

But it was just a Fanta sea.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anam_Cara
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
I broke up with my girlfriend because she is obsessed with North American aquatic birds that resemble large ducks when swimming...

She's too loony!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
🚨︎ report
Swimming pool
πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMemeGod13
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
Last night I had a dream I was swimming in an orange ocean.

I woke up and realized it was a Fanta-Sea

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MattBatz1991
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
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Swimming pool
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/N00bio
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
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It's a swimming pool guys
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sriramempire
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
A fish was swimming 'til when he saw a stone wall.

he then said, ''dam''

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cardboard_pencil
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
🚨︎ report
Swimming lessons
πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cow_Tse_Tongue
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Today I had someone knock on my door asking for small donations towards the local swimming pool.

I gave him a glass of water

πŸ‘︎ 764
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weiderman316
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
My aunt always put a wad of Copenhagen between her cheek and gun before swimming...

She liked taking a dip.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
2 whales are swimming through the ocean

One whale says "WWWAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOO" The other says "dude wtf"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phil_Bazz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Two Prawns are swimming in the sea

One Prawn is called Justin, the other is called Christian. Suddenly they are approached by a magic Cod who grants them each a wish. Christian been a humble Prawn is happy with his lot in life and declines the wish. Justin however asks for the Cod to turn him into a Shark.

Weeks later Justin hates being a Shark as all the other fish are scared and swim away. Justin manages to find the magic Cod who turns him back into a prawn.

Delighted Justin now a Prawn again finds his old friend and exclaims "I found Cod, I'm a Prawn again Christian!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/matc7884
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
When you're just swimming by, and an eel bites your thigh, that's

a moray.

(I sang this to my kids when they were young.)

(They're in their 20s now, which I consider young.)

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/startrektoheck
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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Swimming pools are just chlorified bathtubs....

It might not quite work out in english, but it got stuck in my head - chlorine being used in pools, which are glorified bathtubs....

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrazyOdd
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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Why did the government ban swimming?

To cut down on poolution

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dasvott
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
A fish was swimming fast but wasn't looking where it was going and then, WHAM, it ran into a wall...

The fish looked at the wall and said, "Dam."

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
🚨︎ report
There was this fish, and he was just swimming, and swimming around, not looking where he was going...

Then BAM! He ran into a wall.

The fish backed up, looked at the wall, and said,

"Dam."

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiefsa
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Religion is like a swimming pool.

Most of the noise is coming from the shallow end.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I had a dream where I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda...

Turns out it was just a fanta-sea

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoWeGotTheLegs
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm thinking about starting a company to provide Wi-Fi in public swimming areas..

I'm going to call it IP in Pools

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guycelium
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What do old people and swimming pools have in common?

They’re both full of pee but only one can hold their water. So I guess it deep ends.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend Ty came first in a swimming competition in Beijing, but he wasn’t given a gold medal.

The Chinese refuse to acknowledge Ty won.

πŸ‘︎ 210
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Two fish are swimming. One runs into a concrete wall. He look at his friend and says

Dam

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/got_nohandz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
A guy came to my door asking for donations for a local swimming pool

I gave him a cup of water to help out

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/houseme
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a boy swimming at the beach?

Buoyancy

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/definitelynotmo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report
A boy complains to his father: 'You told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks! You said it would impress the girls at the pool! But you forgot to mention one thing!'

Father: 'Really, what?'

Boy: 'That the potato should go in the front.'

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Namirred
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My pregnant wife was complaining about feeling like a blimp, so I said she should go swimming.

That way she could feel like a submarine

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cankles_of_Fury
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
A man knocked on my door asking for donations for the local swimming pool

I handed him a glass of water

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CubingWithAlex
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend just can't resist swimming in those water features outside of Japanese restaurants.

She just loves playing Koi.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elnateo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
When a waiter goes swimming
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bizlizzilzib
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Last night I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda...

then I realized it was a Fanta sea.

πŸ‘︎ 242
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πŸ‘€︎ u/44tacocat44
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
🚨︎ report
I saw a hippie swimming in the sea with a shark approaching him.

I shouted to warn him but he couldn't hear me as he was too far out man.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BenisbacK_1900
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
When you're swimming in the sea and an eel bites your knee

That's a moray.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cavtrpr017
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you call a swimming skunk?

#A stinkray.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/schmuber
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the elephants get kicked out of the swimming pool?

They couldn't keep their trunks up!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hardrockclassic
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Today someone knocked on the door and asked for a small donation for the local public swimming pool.

I gave him a glass of water.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brisquet
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I went swimming in a river in Paris and my friend went swimming in a river in Cairo. He said I was insane, but I told him he was in denial.
πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Two cats are having a swimming race.

One is called β€˜one two three’ and the other is β€˜in deux trois’. Which Cat won the race?

β€˜One two three’ because the β€˜un deux trois’ cat sank.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigManEB
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2018
🚨︎ report
I was daydreaming about swimming through an ocean of fizzy drink.

It was quite the fantasea

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/average_at_life
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
As I was cleaning the dirtiest swimming pool ever, people looked at me with sadness in their eyes...

I'm just a pool boy, I need no sympathy.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DandyBeyond
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Even though he's never been in the water yet, I know my dog will be great at swimming.

He's such a good buoy.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
There's a fish swimming down a river and hits a wall

He says Dam!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainTRAINz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the criminals doing their water ballet routine in the prison swimming pool?

There were inundated con sequences.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/constantclimb
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
🚨︎ report
There’s an African guy who’s addicted to swimming...

But every time he’s confronted about it, he gives it no importance.

You could say that he’s living in da Nile.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElPorTuu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive...

But swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I have always dreamt about swimming in an ocean full of soda...

It's a Fanta-sea...

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TryingToCareLess
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
🚨︎ report
If a pregnant woman goes swimming

Does that make her a human submarine?

πŸ‘︎ 390
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Davido808
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2017
🚨︎ report
Despite my excellent instructions, my student keeps sinking instead of swimming.

He must be too dense.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I went swimming in Paris recently

It was inSeine

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ljclai
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
🚨︎ report
β™ͺWhen you're swimming and you squeal, 'cause you saw a slimy eel, that's...β™ͺ aqua.org/-/media/Images/A…
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoahTheProtozoa
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2018
🚨︎ report
One time I was swimming in orange soda

Then I woke up. Turns out it was just a fantasy.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GhostKill234
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
🚨︎ report
If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks

It cost me an arm and a leg!

πŸ‘︎ 387
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TWM_Huxy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2017
🚨︎ report
My brother after watching the winner of a women's swimming event last night

Mom: is that swimmer Russian?

Bro: well.. Not anymore, she finished

Blank stares turned to realizations and then everyone threw stuff at him

πŸ‘︎ 471
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yeagerbomb16
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call 3 cats at the bottom of a swimming pool?

trois cat sank

edit: trois quatre cinq

edit: the cats are french

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Innundator
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
🚨︎ report
2 fish are swimming and the bang into a wall.

One fish turns to another and says:

Dam!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2018
🚨︎ report
A fish swimming upriver bumps it's head:

"Dam"

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DylanTheG999
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I use to be addicted to swimming

But I’ve been dry for 12 months.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sprout272
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2018
🚨︎ report
A whale and his son are swimming casually in the ocean.

Son: Dad, where did I come from?

Dad: From my penis, son.

Son: Uh... Thanks?

Dad: You're Whale cum

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maax42_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2018
🚨︎ report
What animal is best equipped to go swimming?

Elephants because they always have their trunks with them.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pompzi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2017
🚨︎ report
Last night I dreamt that I was swimming in orange soda...

Turns out it was just a Fanta sea.

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/potatoesarefruit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2017
🚨︎ report
We all knew our friend was swimming in a river

But he kept saying it was lake. Well, someone's obviously in da Nile.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Moe_Bot
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool?

Bob..

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amd20555
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call an ant that works well on its own? And What do you call an ant that’s good at swimming?

An independ ant A deepend ant

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrDitz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the son tell his dad after a piece of sea weed wrapped around his leg while he was swimming

Sea kelp

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TarkArt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife was worried that the fish she bought on Friday weren't swimming together on Saturday

I told her not to worry. Saturday's not a school day.

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ACMEanvils
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2016
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to swimming.

I am now very proud to announce, that I have been dry for six years.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Donnakebabmeat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2017
🚨︎ report
A boy came up to me asking if I could donate to the local swimming pool

I came back with a glass of water

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dippyfreshdawg
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2017
🚨︎ report
Why can't two elephants go swimming?

Because they only have one pair of trunks.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ“…︎ May 25 2017
🚨︎ report
My friend is a collegiate athlete. She said she wanted to quit swimming.

I said, "That's fine but please be careful. If you quit swimming at the wrong time, you could die."

πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Luke_Warmwater
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call a swimming orchestra conductor?

A moistro.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Minihat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2015
🚨︎ report
Out dad joked by my wife. This one based on the Olympics. We were watching swimming results.

Me:I've participated in the breast stroke.

Wife:And I've won almost every time!

That's where I was headed but she beat me to it.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vasharpshooter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2016
🚨︎ report
A man was hit by a log while swimming..

He was Justin Timberlake.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Imad_harb
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2017
🚨︎ report
The local brewery are trying to figure out who's been swimming in the vats of fermented apple juice

They're fairly certain the culprit is an incider.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2016
🚨︎ report
Two Cats swimming the English Channel

Two Cats swimming the English Channel to France, one was called One Two Three and the other Un Deux Trois

which cat made it?

One Two Three because Un deux trois Cat Sank

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aontroim
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2015
🚨︎ report
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool

I gave him a glass of water

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15
🚨︎ report
Went swimming today. Took a pee in the deep end.

Lifeguard noticed. Blew his whistle so loud, I almost fell in.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dottree
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
🚨︎ report
Somebody just knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.

So I gave him a glass of water!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.

I gave him a glass of water.

πŸ‘︎ 638
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yea_I_Reddit
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2017
🚨︎ report
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation to the local swimming pool.

I gave him a glass of water.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ENJOYblet
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
🚨︎ report
A man knocked on my door asking for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.

So I gave him a glass of water.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs, in a swimming pool?

Bob

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/a-bit-rich
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2017
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