What do you call a good swimming pun?

A stroke of genius

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buffWarlocks
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
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I think I'll get a loan to buy a swimming pool

But I'm worried I'll be drowning in debt

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChromeKorine
πŸ“…︎ May 22
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What do you call a human swimming in the ocean?

Shark-uterie

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ignoremyshit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
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Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.

I gave him a glass of water.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RushilPc
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09
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Just keep swimming
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimmylathen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
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I dreamt last night I was swimming in an ocean full of orange soda. Then I woke up..

..and realized it was just a Fanta sea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15
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Swimming with sharks sure is expensive...

It cost me an arm and a leg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyndawwquil
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
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I had a crazy dream last night! I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. Turns out it was just a Fanta sea.
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
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I'm going swimming on April 1st

I call it April Pools Day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wilsoca
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
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I just saw a moth swimming.

It was doing the butterfly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
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How does Dolly Parton clean her swimming pools?

Chlorine, chlorine, chlorine, chlorineeeeeeeeeeee!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doerofthings42
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
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What does a shy elephant wear when he goes swimming?

A pair of long trunks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhatProtomolecule
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15
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I caught a man trying to break into my house last night. He was wearing football pads, swimming trunks, ice skates and holding a baseball bat.

I said, β€œOi, what’s your game?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/adfunk101
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
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Just keep swimming guys
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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A guy knocked on my door asking for a donation to build a community swimming pool.

So, I handed him a glass of water.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gr8prajwalb
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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I once went to a city with a culture based on swimming to deep places

It had lots of diversity

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiinm
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11
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My wife were talking about my swimming ability:

Her: "You're a pretty strong swimmer"

Me: "Yeah but I never learned butterfly stroke"

Her: "Butterfly? You just...wing it"

We both looked at each other and snickered like children.

Title Edit: "My wife and I were talking"*

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unwilling_pizza
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
🚨︎ report
From my 7 yr just now: Dad, last night I dreamed I was swimming in orange soda.

Turns out it was just a Fanta-sea.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
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Two cats are having a swimming race. One is called β€œOne Two Three”, the other β€œUn Deux Trois”. Which cat won?

β€œOne Two Three” because β€œUn Deux Trois” cat sank.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LindsayLoserface
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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Yesterday I dreamt that I was swimming in orange soda.

It's just fanta-sea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chihiro_yoru
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
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What do you call s man with no arms and legs in a swimming pool?

Bob.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/s_tormbringr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
Just finished reading a book on Channel swimming.

It was written by Francis Near.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt

I’m still in de-Nile

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AudenWolfe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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What do you call a pregnant woman when swimming?

A human submarine

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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What do you call a swimming creature that hates violence?

A pacifish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KitsuneLuey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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Swimming is good for you

If you’re drowning

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YolkyBoii
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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What do you call an unvaccinated kids in a swimming pool?

Water polio

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnblu5
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Two prawns were swimming around in the sea

One called Justin and the other called Kristian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area:

Finally one day Justin said to Kristian. "I'm fed up with being a prawn. I wish I was a shark and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten."

A large mysterious cod appeared and said. "Your wish is granted" Low and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Kristian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.

Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.

While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn..

He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn.

With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam to Kristian's home. As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted. "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again."

Kristian replied. "No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner." Justin cried back. "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed....... I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Kristian!!.. πŸ€ͺ🀣

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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To beaver were swimming down a river

They bump into a wall one says "damn"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CreepyPastaKing1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized...

I'm in Seine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cinnafury03
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Just keep swimming
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hi-I-am-Lloyd
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Why are girl so good at swimming?

Because the are boyn't

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tritoslp
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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While swimming around, a fish hits its head on a wall and then yells out...

"Dam!!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tombiepoo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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What do you call a security guard at a swimming pool?

The poolice

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohhnoitsmeagain
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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Be careful if you go swimming in Philosophy Lake.

It's deep.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quisenburg
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a

Fanta sea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kilbenator
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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I wouldn't suggest wearing them swimming though
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lams1d
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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An American cat named β€˜One-Two-Three’ and a French cat named β€˜Une-Deux-Troi’ are in a swimming race. Why did the American cat win?

Because Une-Deux-Troi quatre cinq.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Duzervee
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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The deepest swimming pool in the world

Is most likely on the Titanic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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A German built a swimming pool around his table.

Bad um Tisch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/treenaks
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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What do you call a swimming male ant?

buoyant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shryte16
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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What do you call a horse swimming in shark infested waters?

Sea Biscuit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clark_creationz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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I used to be very addicted to swimming but now, I'm so proud to say..

..that I've been dry for the last four years.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda.

I guess you could say it was more of a Fanta sea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/leftonasournote
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
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Last night I dreamt I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda.

It was just a Fanta sea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodChadAndUgly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.

I gave him a glass of water.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MANTRA2018
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A man knocked on my door today and asked for a small donation for the local swimming pool...

So I gave him a glass of water...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report

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