What do you call a good swimming pun?

A stroke of genius

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buffWarlocks
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
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From my 7 yr just now: Dad, last night I dreamed I was swimming in orange soda.

Turns out it was just a Fanta-sea.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
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What do you call s man with no arms and legs in a swimming pool?

Bob.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/s_tormbringr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
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Just keep swimming guys
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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Just finished reading a book on Channel swimming.

It was written by Francis Near.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt

I’m still in de-Nile

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AudenWolfe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Two cats are having a swimming race. One is called β€œOne Two Three”, the other β€œUn Deux Trois”. Which cat won?

β€œOne Two Three” because β€œUn Deux Trois” cat sank.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LindsayLoserface
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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What do you call a swimming creature that hates violence?

A pacifish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KitsuneLuey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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What do you call a pregnant woman when swimming?

A human submarine

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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Swimming is good for you

If you’re drowning

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YolkyBoii
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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A guy knocked on my door asking for a donation to build a community swimming pool.

So, I handed him a glass of water.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gr8prajwalb
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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What do you call an unvaccinated kids in a swimming pool?

Water polio

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnblu5
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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Last night I dreamt I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda.

It was just a Fanta sea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodChadAndUgly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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Two prawns were swimming around in the sea

One called Justin and the other called Kristian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area:

Finally one day Justin said to Kristian. "I'm fed up with being a prawn. I wish I was a shark and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten."

A large mysterious cod appeared and said. "Your wish is granted" Low and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Kristian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.

Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.

While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn..

He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn.

With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam to Kristian's home. As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted. "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again."

Kristian replied. "No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner." Justin cried back. "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed....... I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Kristian!!.. πŸ€ͺ🀣

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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While swimming around, a fish hits its head on a wall and then yells out...

"Dam!!!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tombiepoo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.

I gave him a glass of water.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MANTRA2018
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized...

I'm in Seine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cinnafury03
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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Why are girl so good at swimming?

Because the are boyn't

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tritoslp
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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Just keep swimming
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hi-I-am-Lloyd
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a

Fanta sea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kilbenator
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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The deepest swimming pool in the world

Is most likely on the Titanic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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What do you call a security guard at a swimming pool?

The poolice

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohhnoitsmeagain
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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What do you call a swimming male ant?

buoyant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shryte16
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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A German built a swimming pool around his table.

Bad um Tisch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/treenaks
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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What do you call a horse swimming in shark infested waters?

Sea Biscuit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clark_creationz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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Be careful if you go swimming in Philosophy Lake.

It's deep.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quisenburg
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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An American cat named β€˜One-Two-Three’ and a French cat named β€˜Une-Deux-Troi’ are in a swimming race. Why did the American cat win?

Because Une-Deux-Troi quatre cinq.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Duzervee
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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I used to be very addicted to swimming but now, I'm so proud to say..

..that I've been dry for the last four years.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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I had a dream I was swimming in a ocean of orange soda...

Turns out it was just a Fanta Sea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LanaBabie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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I wouldn't suggest wearing them swimming though
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lams1d
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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Why did the elephants get kicked out of the swimming pool?

They couldn't keep their trunks up!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hardrockclassic
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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The little fish bumped into a wall while swimming up stream

. . . and exclaimed, "Dam!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/javacafe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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Heard a guy swimming yelling β€œHELP, SHARK, HELP!!!”

And i just kept laughing because i knew that shark wasn’t going to help

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shitz-and-gigglez
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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I'm thinking about starting a company to provide Wi-Fi in public swimming areas.

I'm going to call it IP in Pools

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Two fish are out swimming when they swim into a wall.

The one fish turns to the other and says, "Damn."

The second fish replies, "No, I think it was a well."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TwinTowers05
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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Swimming with a dolphin is moving with a porpoise
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arconyx
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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Most people know that after swimming into a wall the fish said "Dam!" But what did the dam say?

Dumb bass

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CIMMGW
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda.

I guess you could say it was more of a Fanta sea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/leftonasournote
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
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Went to the swimming pool the other day and desperately need to pee so just peed in the pool

Got such a fright when the lifeguard blew his whistle that I nearly fell in..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sardonicuis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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I went swimming today and took a pee in the deep end

The lifeguard noticed and blew his whistle so loud, I almost fell in

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
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Swimming pool
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMemeGod13
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
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Today a man came to my house and asked for a small donation towards a local swimming pool

I gave him a glass of water

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
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I broke up with my girlfriend because she is obsessed with North American aquatic birds that resemble large ducks when swimming...

She's too loony!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
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A man knocked on my door today and asked for a small donation for the local swimming pool...

So I gave him a glass of water...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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I had a dream I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda...

It was a fanta sea

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnluckyLiterature
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda.

But it was just a Fanta sea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anam_Cara
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool

I gave him a glass of water

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report

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