I love swimming in a large pool of orange liquid
I dreamt last night I was swimming in an ocean full of orange soda. Then I woke up..
..and realized it was just a Fanta sea.
The deepest swimming pool in the world
Is most likely on the Titanic
My dog peed on my list of favorite businesses in the city
Now what’s left is Yellow Pages
There are 10 types of people in the world:
Those who know binary and those who don't.
There are two types of people in the world.
Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
So proud of my daughter for this one... "Why do fishes swim in salt water?"
Because pepper would make them sneeze!
She's six. She's awesome.
EDIT: Woo highest rated post, thanks to my kid. Also, I never said she wrote it! She just told it to me. So there.
My penis was in the Guinness book of world records.
Then the librarian told me to take it out.
When I married my wife, I made a list of all the chores I knew how to do to help out in the house.
It was the list I could do
There are 10 kinds of people in this world:
Those who understand binary and those who don’t
Nurse: Here is the list of heart, liver and kidney donors arranged in alphabetical order.
Doctor: Thank you. It is very organ-ized.
In most parts of the world, it's possible to catch a cold.
In Russia cold always catch you
I am currently one of the world record holders for the Rubik's Cube...
It has been 43 years and I still cannot solve it.
In light of his record with these mega-projects, Elon Musk's proposed new Miami-tunnel gives new meaning to the term
"car-pool tunnel syndrome."
The benefits of beer listed in bullet pints:
🍺 Beer is more nutritious than other alcoholic drinks.
🍺 Beer can help protect your heart.
🍺 Beer helps prevent kidney stones.
🍺 Beer lowers bad cholesterol.
🍺 Beer strengthens your bones.
🍺 Beer helps reduce stress.
🍺 Beer may help improve memory.
🍺 Beer helps cognitive function.
There are 3 types of people in this world:
Those who can count and those who cannot.
In 1939, an unusual farm animal named Gertrude became the first cow to climb to the peak of Mt. Everest carrying gear for the climbers, setting a world record that still stands unbroken.
Since then, the steaks have never been higher.
I would love to swim in an ocean of orange soda.
It would be my Fanta sea.
I want to get myself in the guinness world records for the oldest man alive, but it's taking me a long time
Met a beautiful girl over Spring Break in Mexico, but she constantly talked about the end of the world.
On the eve of a record breaking cold winter night, a wife notices her husband run to the backyard with a bucket in his hand.
She grabs a cup of hot cocoa and watches through the window as he fills the bucket up with water and races from the back of the house all the way out to the front yard and out of sight. She bundles up and goes outside to get a closer look and sees that he’s cleared the snow from the sidewalk. She watches as he takes his bucket of water and pours it out on the cold concrete. She’s puzzled for a second and then says:
Icy, what you did there.
There are 2 types of people in this world: 1: People who can extrapolate information based off of incomplete data
In a world where people with superpowers make up 1% of the world population, people with two make up 1% of that 1%. These people born with two superhuman abilities are called squares.
Squares are raised to a second power.
Despite being tiny, the Republic of Ireland has the capital city with the highest population growth in the world...
There are two kinds of people in this world, those who spell it doughnut
A tattoo artist has a guy come in and get a new mark on an expanding list of hash marks. After a few sessions the tattoo artist asks “What are you counting?”
And the guy says “how many tattoos I have now”
I asked all the countries in the world if they wanted to throw a party. All of them told me they can't because of covid.
Only one was like "Yemen"
Did you hear about the optician who made the biggest pair of glasses in the world?
I've always wanted to swim in a ocean of soda.
They say there are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary and those who don't.
I think that's Booleshit.
A friend of mine was in the band mood but I had a list of 10 puns to try to cheer him up.
There are three kinds of people in this world:
Those who can add; and,
Those who can't.
My friend thought he could swim the longest river in the world
A guy sets a world record for farting in a police car the most amount of times in a row. What else did he set?
A man in a drug trial died from a complication which dissolved his pneumogastric nerve, the coroner listed the cause of death as...
I had a crazy dream last night! I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. Turns out it was just a Fanta sea.
There are two types of people in this world.
Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
Last night I dreamt I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda.
There are two kinds of people in the world...
- Those who can extrapolate from known data...
Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a
My penis was recently in the Guinness Book of World records
At least until the Librarian caught me.
I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda.
I guess you could say it was more of a Fanta sea.
I would love to swim in an ocean of orange soda.
It would be my Fanta sea.
I had a dream I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda...
Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda.
But it was just a Fanta sea.
Last night I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda...
then I realized it was a Fanta sea.
I had a dream where I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda...
Turns out it was just a fanta-sea
There are 3 types of people in this world
Those who can count and those who can't
There are two types of people in this world.
- Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
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